The Councillor is in... shut-in

Ah, the happy days of being a shut-in; a person convalescing from an injury, surgery, or illness... home bound to my heart's content. (Oh, Dixie, please go on; we await your elaboration on this most interesting subject.) Yes, stay at home and every survey, presidential candidate, local politician, friends and even family call. They present questions, questions, and might even ask my advice... or what vice I prefer. I especially enjoy being the 'sounding board'... listening to their every problem. Hearing a voice drone on and on about something I can do nothing about... only listen.

I've made the selfish decision to not answer the phone unless I have the energy to listen. It appears to be working well for me, though I am assured by those, of the telephone world, that they simply must have my attention. Take, for instance, political calls; those lively, 'surely you have time and nothing to do,' advertisements requesting my support. "Vote for me and I'll set you free!" At the end of the call, you press #1 if you would vote for this person; press #2 if you would not. I can also press #3 to add a comment. That was fun for awhile, but it also put me on a continuous loop of getting return calls on other issues.

Here's the hardest part... those who call and want me to take responsibility for their feelings. As if somehow I were even able to do that, why would I? Encouraging/expecting me to 'choose a side' in a family disagreement. The shut-in councillor advises them to talk to each other and leave me out of it. It's been my policy to let family members take care of their own personal business, and I'd handle mine. But get 'laid up' for eight weeks and suddenly they think my policy has somehow changed?!  What to do, what to do?

After getting physically and emotionally sick when hearing one particular issue, I took a step back to re-evaluate my needs. The Creator who supplies my needs is foremost in my life. It's taken a journey to get to this point but I finally 'get it'. (Dixie has had to find her voice and express her boundaries with many; this is no time to stop and leave the path I journey on.)

I could feel flattered and have an ego the size of a house, but that's simply not me. For me, true happiness and peace have nothing to do with ego. (E.G.O. meaning, 'easing God out.') My lifestyle has afforded a great many blessings. Remaining positive and maintaining real faith gives me joy. But I'm not a councillor.  I'm not a teacher. I'm a person who loves freedom to believe the way I choose. I have no judgments for those who choose differently; each has their own calling.

Making myself a 'sounding board' for others is not too hard, yet at the moment I have issues I must focus on.  And isn't that life; sometimes we have time and sometimes we don't? And isn't it okay to say, 'not now - I'm working on healing'? And yes, I'm a convalescing shut-in, not a councillor.

Thank you for reading.

Friday funny

Hahahaha!!

humerus, not humorus

A humerus fracture is an injury to the bone of the upper arm. The upper arm bone, the humerus, connects the shoulder to the elbow. Humerus fractures are generally divided into three types of injuries... but this is the one I have... lucky me!

Proximal Humerus Fractures

Proximal humerus fractures occur near the shoulder joint. The shoulder joint is a ball-and-socket joint, with the ball being the top of the humerus bone. Fractures of this ball are considered proximal humerus fractures. These fractures may involve the insertion of the important rotator cuff tendons. Because these tendons are important to shoulder motion, treatment may depend on the position of these tendon insertions. In a word: ouch!

For the sake of maintaing a positive attitude towards healing, I present to you a poem.

A fractured humerus is not humorus ~
thus between the two of us ~
I'm really fighting pain.


The right shoulder feels abandoned ~
with the left as new companion ~
It's great to feel insane.

Must go now; time for therapy.
Relax. Breathe deep. Be the jelly fish. Beeee the jelly fish. Beeee...

oops...

Robin Gibb

I may not see Europe

My painting has landed in Germany! It will be there for at least two years, and then who knows where it will land next.

I have a nephew in the US Air Force. This painting was a gift to him and his wife.  They soon gave birth to a son. I was thrilled when they choose a 'nautical' theme for his bedroom. All sorts of ships sail along the walls, including mine!

The 'Tall' ships have always been my favorites. However the multi-sails and rigging require study to accurately portray in a painting. It's hard to 'fudge' (cheat). Still, watching current versions glide along the water gives me goose bumps. Maybe one day I'll take the plunge! Or the plank?

Well, I may never see Europe, but part of me is being seen over there. It's quite exciting. Now, where's my pirate hat?

Thanks for reading ~

"Abandoned Boat" by Dixie

Baobob tree sculpture

Mike De Butts adds the finishing touches to a giant Baobab Tree sculpture entitled 'Under the Baobab', outside the Southbank Centre on May 24, 2012 in London, England.

The Pirate Technics' installation is made from a selection of brightly colored fabrics from  around the world.

It is part of the Southbank Centre's 'Festival of the World' exhibition, which includes a series of large scale pieces of art that will be in place around the Southbank centre over the Summer.

(Photo by Dan Kitwood/Getty Images)

swimming-just-swimming-in the rain

It's competition time! World championships taking place all over, um, the world.  Yes, the Olympics are upon us, yet the world championships must go on. (I have no clue, why.)

Journalists, reporters, and genuine sport fans bombarded the recent swim meet. (Hype time.) Before them lay a most beautiful, Olympic size pool. Filming, photo-ops, and interviews were quickly arranged, but then the strangest discovery was noted by the pool-pa-razzi: the pool was empty!! Swim participants were busy running around the perimeter. Egad! There wasn't any water in the pool!

Suddenly from overhead a large thunderclap was heard. Rain began falling and participants quickly adopted an attitude of fun. The newly arrived Jamaican team seemed especially inspired. Ironically the major film they'd watched on the airplane trip featured, dancer/actor Gene Kelly, in movie classic "Singing in the Rain."

Or was I dreaming?

painting my chest

please excuse my lack of capitalization; i'm doing an a la e.e. cummings' writing style.  my right shoulder is healing nicely, but the left hand typing is a work in progress!  i spend a lot of time going back to rehit the space bar... oh well... here we go.

when it's free time off of the ice pack, and i can actually come to my desk, i'm always thinking of fun stuff.  this little chest is painted with black board paint.  it's not a new thing, but i see potential for it's use in my home.

i wanted to do a post, but the thought of moaning and groaning about my living limitations didn't excite me.   unless you're into pain, believe me, it would not satisfy.

i'm one of those people who like organization.  no, not obessive but looking for ideas to enhance production of all my hobbies.  this type of paint could really solve some problems.

now here's the question and feel free to share your thoughts... please... i'm bored!  do i go ahead and paint the chest i have, left handed, or wait 5 more weeks and paint it right handed?   okay, i'm done.

Olympic goal runs flat

Japaneese Olympic hopeful, Awgi, has failed to meet the required qualifications.

Distressed and dejected, Awgi went for a walk in the rain. Seems he was unaware that he was constructed from cardboard. When his legs began to melt, he stepped into the road to return to the stadium, whereupon he was smashed flat by a passing truck.

The driver was questioned and released, it determined that after all, he only hit a box.

Awgi was mailed to his hometown with a large red stamp across his head stating: "2016 - better cardboard, better ingredients, Papa Yan's."

The last azalea

I lay on the ground wondering how long I would lay on the ground? But let's start at the beginning...

Monday 7 a.m., I looked out of my office window and noticed a beautiful pink bloom. Just beyond the tree line, but within my small forest, color so rich it beckoned me to come visit. Out the door, bedroom shoes and all, my adventure began.

The last azalea was blooming. Honeysuckle vines threatened to cover the beauty. So off towards the house I went to retrieve my clippers. An uphill climb on grass still wet with dew proved to be my down fall. I tripped over a small stump, losing my right shoe, throwing me off-balance; the ground came up hard and fast. The crunching.cracking sound in my right ear 'told' me I was hurt. My right arm and shoulder took the full brunt the fall. Life had just changed.

From down below, in my garden, a voice asked, "Are you alright?"

I answered, "No, I can't get up." I was laying on an incline, my head lower than my legs. My right arm stretched straight out from my side. I had broken the arm ball that fits into the shoulder joint. I had broken a smaller piece of bone that held the shoulder tendon in place. Yep, life changed.

Ironically, the neighbor who came to my aid had changed up his morning routine. He decided to have his morning coffee on  his front porch, which looked onto my backyard. I had lying there 5-10 minutes. It took longer than that for the ambulance to arrive.

Surgery is schedule for this Wednesday, with an overnight hospital stay of 1-2 days. I'm writing this post left-handed; quite the accomplishment for me. If you don't "see" me for a few days don't worry. I'll be back as soon as I can... with even greater adventures. I'm talking serious pain medications... the sky's the limit.
And now for a first time, left-handed post to 'blog-land'. Keep the faith. This too shall pass. Thanks for reading.

Magic kisses

Children laugh and children play,
yet I was all alone one day.
You were cute and kinda scary
in that coat that was so hairy.
I kissed your nose so you might change.
You stayed the same, I thought that strange.
I am the princess that rules the bog,
but it turns out you're not a frog!
You're not a frog?

post number 500

I wondered what post number 500 would be about. Let's talk about the coming Olympics!

London is hosting the Olympics July 27- August 12, 2012. I'm so excited! Not only that but it's in the year of Queen Elizabeth's 60th jubilee. How much more excitement do I need?

Aw, yes, I love the synchronized swim teams.... every country's participants!

It's still early, for the Oylmpics, but I still needed a number 500 post, so why not?
Thanks for reading ~

Mind space

What occupies your mind occupies your time. Everything else is half-done. In a stupor or in a fog, makes no difference, when a problem enslaves your waking moments. How often I must trade the warring mind for a life of great blessings. Yes, as long as I hold on to the war inside my head, the longer I wait for peace. As this happens every year I must note that every year I have a choice to make. What, if not whom, am I living for?
It's not a unique question. Certainly it's not unique to me. People everywhere make the same inquiries that I do. Can they help me? Can I help them?
I was watching a program recently. The topic was: strongholds in the mind. A stronghold, whether it be depression, an eating disorder, cognitive issues, and many others. We don't have to let them win. The point was, when a negative thought enters your mind, it had to come from somewhere. So where did it come from? And if you don't have an answer to that you might allow yourself to become stuck. But the program lecturer was saying you need to acknowledge the thought and immediately tell it you believe differently. So it sounds like what you believe helps or directs your response to negative input.
That said, what occupies my mind today is the beauty of outdoors. It's everything I need to feel loved. The trees, the grass, the flowers, animals, and peaceful neighbors, add to my being a warmth that touches me deep within. None of this can money buy. None of this can man rule.
I continue loving what I believe. I continue loving a Creator that brings me joy. And when I tell a negative thought my Creator says differently, I am healed of the situation the thought might have led to. Just for today... I refuse to rent space in my mind for negatives.
Thanks for reading ~

What?

Father's ship

My father's ship set out to sea ~ 
It was the year that I turned three.
The winds arose, and rains did pour ~
While on the land, I turned to four.
The sails aright, their strength alive ~
When candles on the cake, said I was five.
The boom did crash, there was no fix ~
The year that I would turn to six.
A drowning mass and sinking leaven ~
The tale would end and I was seven.
So as my Mum put out the light ~
I asked if father was alright?
She answered, "Yes, but he'll be in late."
I closed my eyes and dreamed of eight.


painting: Fred Beckett

Bring us your tires

I'm from southern USA... yep the deep south where a favorite lawn decoration, for years, was the white tire! Homes, businesses, parks and jiffy johns, all displayed their tires with pride. 

Why even the 'Statue of Liberty' proclaimed the song of the south: Bring us your tires, your poor, your hungry... course now that you-all have arrived, we don't know what to do with ya!

Just in time... yes sir, we made a change! No longer is the white tire the coveted item to own. The south has one of the finest mixes of peoples you'd ever want to meet. And you know... they all brought their own yard art. Yep, yard art!! Tires.

Calling

Love sirens calling~
come and enjoy the day.

The sea is waiting~
come and enjoy the day.

As the sand warms your heart~
I'll be waiting.

still tripping on carpets made by others

There was a man who made carpets. Somewhere along the weaving he'd sneek in a broken thread or two. That way no one would be able to walk across his carpets without tripping. So the unsuspecting customer would get their expensive carpet home and have terrible experiences. Walk, trip, fall; get up... over and over, so they had to call him to come immediately. Once he got there he would secretly mend the broken threads. No more tripping! But what was the point in him doing this? He simply enjoyed tripping people up. He enjoyed knowing his attention was in demand. He loved the urgent phone calls to beg his presence to investigate the problem. It was all fun and games, and he really enjoyed the results.


I like to understand people and why they exhibit the behavior that they do... but this is not worth it. It's like a kid I knew in elementary school. He enjoyed pulling the wings off of insects and watching them suffer. He'd hold his finger over a tiny ant and say: "I am god; you are dead!" Then he'd smash the ant. It made no sense. And I guess my final answer is just that... if it makes no sense... move away from it or them... very far away.


Jotting it all down, giving it some air... releases the stress, and that's nice. So now I think I'll have some chocolate ice cream and put the "I-don't-understand-abuse" thing to rest.

A reach ~

Oh would you carry me
when I am old and gray?


Then will you bury me
should I no longer play?


Let out a laugh of cheer
to keep me in your heart
before you dump me in the ground
and sing the song of blessed lark ~


Maybe not?

Stop that racket!

It was bound to happen sooner or later. I was sitting at my special office window in my humble home minding my own business. Cling clang, bing, bang; I hit the outside lights and... THERE HE WAS...

I live in a peaceful community not far from a park and lots of geese and a pond, and, and... squirrels that ignore my every word.

Flash went the camera and he was forever captured in a kodiak moment I'll treasure a long time. He he he.  I turned the lights back out thinking how proud of my quick action I was, yessir... but then it hit me... hey, he was going after all the food!!

Once again the lights came and he was gone... and so was that feeder.

Purple is for passion?

It appears he's new to the Island of Palawan, Philippines. Of course it could be a she too. In fact the news says they change colors (colours for the Brit gallery) to social network. It's quite possible that the color/colour purple is to invite another crab for sex.


At this point during my blog I really wish a couple of brave souls might finish this up with a bit of humor (humour, I know.) Only don't get into size, as they're only between a half inch and one inch. One large step on the beach and you'd probably wipe out sixteen orgies!! Just saying...


There I'm done, well, almost; is purple for passion? What say ye? Come on, don't make me pinch ya for an answer! Really, orange you glad I'd never do that?

It's not about you ~

It's about the times we miss out and never fully recover the loss. We want to get past our pain and often do rise above the ashes of a burnt out compartment. However long ago and way back in time a memory need only surface for a moment... and we remember something good. Something so good we'd rather not forget. Revisiting old times can be hurtful yet offer experience to aid another point in our path. Limiting what I remember is no longer an option. I want the full picture so I can get the full reward of what I've learned 'this' time. A friend, lover, spouse, best buddy, doesn't matter; when you're far away... you're so far away ~

[[A song from Carol King: So far Away 


Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore? It would be so fine to see your face at my door Doesn't help to know that you're just time away Long ago I reached for you, and there you stood Holding you again could only do me good How I wish I could, but you're so far away.]]

To follow

The wind blows and I try to follow
a path that disappears.
I stand and wait
It will return soon.
I'll watch again,
and try to follow once more.

See the trees bend and sway
such a grey day
but I must declare
I like the feeling in the air.

No turmoil, no blustery challenge
just a simple wind that beckons me to follow.
A carefree movement
let me move carefree.
Let me enjoy the simple wind
and ask for no more than to follow.

Behind the scenes

The things we experience shape our reality. The people that we allow to join with us, in sharing, make a meaningful day. It has been fulfilling and helpful to have so many friends stop by for a visit. I am blessed by the community of friends who choose to stop by. Whether you're part of my computer community or other, I am grateful.


Over the last two weekends I've had to visit the emergency room. My god-daughter generously took me and stayed with me through the entire agonizing wait.  Should there be a third time, and Lord forbid, I think I'll have her drop me off and show up 8-10 hours later. It's almost guaranteed the ER staff will move slowly along. A big thank you to L.R. Your love and generosity touch my soul.


Today my head fills empty. I suppose too many side effects from medications has me teetering on the edge of blah-ville. My only goal is to keep the nausea I've experienced at bay. As long as I can keep fluids down I'll be better off and can avoid the ER. Yet during all of this I find answers to things I've pursued for months. Empty head or not, I feel peaceful and calm.


The on-call doctor didn't call in nausea meds before the pharmacy closed. That means I do without. I've resorted to old school to sip water or ginger ale, and eat dry toasts; so far, so good. The pain meds are strong so driving my van is out. So I'll be staying home from church today. A difficult decision because I really like attending this church.


I spoke to my mentor about all of the above. This woman is a powerhouse of strength. She prayed over the phone for me and it's quite humbling for someone to do that. Church, this church, has brought something new into my life. I feel surrounded by people that love me. And I feel the same way when it comes to my blogging friends. I don't want to miss church and I don't want to miss my blog! I want to read what others are writing and glean from their experiences. To me there's no better way to live than to enjoy each soul knowing God loves each one; no matter what we individually may choose.


So here it is... my thoughts as they come forward. Illness doesn't have to bring me down. It happens to many and I hope I return the blessing to any one of you when you need support. It's those 'behind the scenes' issues we may not see. Scant details that we'd rather not bother any one with.  Just this spontaneous post; I'm not bragging or complaining; wanted to thank everyone for being who you are and sharing your own, 'behind the scenes' with me.

Today's catch

The beach has always been a powerful influence. Just thinking about being there inspires me to create. I found these ceramic fish on the web site given within their photos. Instead of doing ceramic artwork, which is not one of my skills, I'll execute them in paper mache. 

Add caption

I'll be breathing in that salt air with every strip of paper I glue on. Layering paper strips like the ever moving sand seeking to fill the voids/ nooks and crannies! Dress the fish with rhinestones, bits of shell, and other stuff.

May the sun shine on my adventuresome little project! May the waves roar above the boom box with beach boogie music playing.

Against the wall

My life is a bit tangled.The old plate is full but you know that means nothing. Just like watching a baseball game; batter up, strikes out; another batter, another strike out, and on it goes. Some times you win and some times you get a lesson.


I chose the photo of the bright starfish against a rock wall. You might know the phrase I'm referring to: "I'm between a rock and a hard place" ? And like a criminal caught in a spot light, he/she throws the body up against the wall in surrender. Yep, surrender.


Have you ever felt you were up against a wall, and your only choice was to surrender? A minister friend of mine once told me: "If it's a decision you need to make, flip a coin; if it comes a up 'heads' but you'd rather it come up 'tails', then there's your answer. Go with 'tails'. Could it really be that simple?


I guess most of you know by now that I pray concerning decisions I have no answers to. Therein lies the continuance of my faith: knowing my God is always there with the answer, before I even finish asking. I stand by in faith knowing he will lift me up and above the issues I have on my plate. Still I just needed to post this, and am really uncertain why.  Maybe someone out there has experience and advice that would assist me. If not, it's okay; enjoy the photo from Cousin Kathy.

Every other week: Spring

We've had a beautiful spring. So many varieties of flowering trees, shrubs, and individual plants. I've never seen this yard so lovely. Too bad my camera eats every battery it meets! The weather has been titter-tottering for over a month now. It's warm one week, and something blooms. It's cold the next and something dies.


Actually, it's a perfect spring for where I live. This is the spring I remember as a child. Maybe that's why it's so enjoyable, but look quickly or you'll miss the next flowering something.(sigh)

Soup of the day

First, I'd like to thank you all for your performance on the Easter buffet.

Destined to reign

I found this final photo to be a bit haunting; Her majesty seems so alone. The photographer, Annie Leibowitz, wanted to shoot the photo without her majesty wearing her crown... but it didn't happen. Oh, maybe Annie wanted to portray "the woman behind the crown." Might make a nice interest story but I suppose the Queen would want her privacy regarding personal life events. After all her days for sixty years have been filled with the kingdom's business. Regardless of what anyone thinks, she's always had my respect. Happy Sixtieth Jubilee!

Nice day

 

Part of my family was here for Easter or Resurrection day. It was very peaceful and satisfying.  Life in my new home is finally settling down, with rooms nearing completion. We enjoyed hanging out and sharing this time together. So much so, that we want to do it allover again in two weeks. Ahem! Who's bringing the cupcakes this time??


Having fellowship with family is new (for me), and exciting.
~Thank you Lord.

Mighty fine collection

We all know the expression: "He or she just knows how to 'push my buttons'." It took a long time for me to figure out that I was allowing people to get the 'best' of me. I even began to think I deserved being treated like a one button wonder. One button pushes all and straight to postal. Anger became a four letter word... don't ask.


How to defuse my rampant reaction to button pushing? Thought you'd never ask. Oops, sorry; you didn't actually ask. I'm so attuned to the vibrational universe, it just crosses my mind. 


Chipping away at the ol' personality did me no good. Besides I like the fact that I am scattered, covered, and smothered by my own wayward ego. Bah! Oh dear but something had to give. There would always be someone who'd 'poke, poke, poke' one of my favorite buttons. A proper nasty attitude... that I got away with until somebody pushed a bit too hard. 


AH! Just remove the button. What a concept. Change the attitude and remove the button! Yes, there's more work to do... but isn't this a mighty fine collection???!!

A rabbit tale

I'm just a little rabbit
who doesn't like the habit
of sending Easter baskets
I want one of my own!


The eggs do not appeal
chocolate makes me ill
I'd rather get my fill
of carrots that are grown!

"Thanks, Mom."

Fresh from the garden

Sing along: 


“Carrots, peas, lettuce, beets,
no substitute for all those chocolate treats.”


“Give me jelly beans and yellow peeps,
fling the cucumbers together in a heap.”


“No to corn, no to cabbage,
bring some pop tarts in a package.”


“La la la la la la.”

Getting older with Easter

Once upon a time I celebrated with the eggs, the chocolates, the dress, the basket, and little yellow spring peeps (baby chicks). One year I even got a turtle; what was my Mom thinking? Of course the turtles were easier to catch than the peeps! Since there were three siblings, she painted our first name initial on the turtles' backs. I'll never forget the pink nail polish lettering of my initial "D" on mine.


Growing older I began to drop off one thing after another; eventually dropping out of church as well. Life was a whirlwind of craziness for me; I never seemed to catch my breath, before another awkward adventure appeared. At this particular time I was making crazy money. So me and my ego thought to impress the 'high powers'. I purchased a very expensive spring dress and thought to make my way to my parents' church: "See how important I am now?!" I awoke Easter morning to find ten inches of snow on the ground!!! I admit I felt disappointed to wear a long red wool coat over it. So much for impressing God, the universe, and everything. I've never bought another new dress, specifically for Easter, since then. 


I was humbled and decided it didn't matter what I wore; just get there if I was sincere enough to want to be there. Isn't that the question, though? How sincere was I? What were my thoughts concerning Easter? I had to look to the history of "The Passover" to offer me some insight. I was no longer covering the door posts in blood. With the advent of Messiah, the blood would now cover me. 


The greatest thing was discovering that God loves me. He knows everything about me, past, present, and future... and still loves me. I'm coming to understand that His will is best, and I am often delighted and surprised by the outcome. Then again, when someone loves you, they always want what's best for you.

Today I celebrate the gift of God... the adoption/reconciliation made possible by the loving sacrifice of His only begotten Son. "Faith comes by hearing the word." Read this verse out loud to yourself: "In this world you will have trials and tribulations, but be of good cheer, for I have overcome the world." (Matthew)


I have been given the gift to pray for others. Feel free to write in the comment box: "Add me to the list."


Love to you all. Happy Easter, Happy Passover, Happy Gift!

Nature calling

I was outside trimming bushes; worked for about two hours; of course I'm going to be sore for days! Nothing new here. Oh wait!


My computer spoke as I walked through the door, "Good evening madam. Did you have a nice visit with nature?" Then it began to speak in French, and I remembered why I was supposed to return the program.


"Yeh, yeh, poofoo, parlay, blah, blah, blah." (Let him translate that.)


Down the hall I hurried to the little girl's loo. No time to put on the lights, besides, the sun was coming through the window. (Off with her pants.) "Oh my, what in the world is traveling down my leg?!!!" (I screamed)


A very hairy, handsome bumble bee had latched on, er, in, somehow (?). I had on sweat pants but I'll avoid making sweat bee jokes.


Well, that's the tale. I wonder what the bee camp will be discussing tonight?


(Yes I'm still in the Fibro fog.)

Love is in the air; cough, cough, hack, haaa

At some point you will realize that you have done too much for someone, that the only next possible step to do is to stop. Leave them alone. Walk away. It’s not like you’re giving up, and shouldn’t try. It’s just that you have to draw the line of determination from desperation. What is truly yours would eventually be yours, and what is not, no matter how hard you try, will never be.

"Frankly, my dear, the allergies are killing me."

Fun by the yard!

Yes, there are many hours to be spent dealing with my flower beds. Not as much as last year but there's enough fun for all. So you, all are welcome to stop in, bring a rake with your smile, and let's have fun by the yard. C'mon over.

No school, no shoes, no problem ~

~ and off to visit the neighbor's flower gardens.

Awww, cooookiieeee.

Another wonderful day to celebrate the existence for cookies!


Welcome, I'm Alistair Cookie; Esquire and Extraordinaire of glorious subtleties of sweetness upon the tongue. I'm already drooling... care to join me?