Stripping away the rose colored glasses of denial concerning my reality. Getting in touch with truth. Reaching out to others in empathy concerning their reality and their walk to truth.

Saturday, April 28, 2012


Love sirens calling~
come and enjoy the day.

The sea is waiting~
come and enjoy the day.

As the sand warms your heart~
I'll be waiting.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

still tripping on carpets made by others

There was a man who made carpets. Somewhere along the weaving he'd sneek in a broken thread or two. That way no one would be able to walk across his carpets without tripping. So the unsuspecting customer would get their expensive carpet home and have terrible experiences. Walk, trip, fall; get up... over and over, so they had to call him to come immediately. Once he got there he would secretly mend the broken threads. No more tripping! But what was the point in him doing this? He simply enjoyed tripping people up. He enjoyed knowing his attention was in demand. He loved the urgent phone calls to beg his presence to investigate the problem. It was all fun and games, and he really enjoyed the results.

I like to understand people and why they exhibit the behavior that they do... but this is not worth it. It's like a kid I knew in elementary school. He enjoyed pulling the wings off of insects and watching them suffer. He'd hold his finger over a tiny ant and say: "I am god; you are dead!" Then he'd smash the ant. It made no sense. And I guess my final answer is just that... if it makes no sense... move away from it or them... very far away.

Jotting it all down, giving it some air... releases the stress, and that's nice. So now I think I'll have some chocolate ice cream and put the "I-don't-understand-abuse" thing to rest.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

A reach ~

Oh would you carry me
when I am old and gray?

Then will you bury me
should I no longer play?

Let out a laugh of cheer
to keep me in your heart
before you dump me in the ground
and sing the song of blessed lark ~

Maybe not?

Stop that racket!

It was bound to happen sooner or later. I was sitting at my special office window in my humble home minding my own business. Cling clang, bing, bang; I hit the outside lights and... THERE HE WAS...

I live in a peaceful community not far from a park and lots of geese and a pond, and, and... squirrels that ignore my every word.

Flash went the camera and he was forever captured in a kodiak moment I'll treasure a long time. He he he.  I turned the lights back out thinking how proud of my quick action I was, yessir... but then it hit me... hey, he was going after all the food!!

Once again the lights came and he was gone... and so was that feeder.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Purple is for passion?

It appears he's new to the Island of Palawan, Philippines. Of course it could be a she too. In fact the news says they change colors (colours for the Brit gallery) to social network. It's quite possible that the color/colour purple is to invite another crab for sex.

At this point during my blog I really wish a couple of brave souls might finish this up with a bit of humor (humour, I know.) Only don't get into size, as they're only between a half inch and one inch. One large step on the beach and you'd probably wipe out sixteen orgies!! Just saying...

There I'm done, well, almost; is purple for passion? What say ye? Come on, don't make me pinch ya for an answer! Really, orange you glad I'd never do that?

It's not about you ~

It's about the times we miss out and never fully recover the loss. We want to get past our pain and often do rise above the ashes of a burnt out compartment. However long ago and way back in time a memory need only surface for a moment... and we remember something good. Something so good we'd rather not forget. Revisiting old times can be hurtful yet offer experience to aid another point in our path. Limiting what I remember is no longer an option. I want the full picture so I can get the full reward of what I've learned 'this' time. A friend, lover, spouse, best buddy, doesn't matter; when you're far away... you're so far away ~

[[A song from Carol King: So far Away 

Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore? It would be so fine to see your face at my door Doesn't help to know that you're just time away Long ago I reached for you, and there you stood Holding you again could only do me good How I wish I could, but you're so far away.]]

Sunday, April 22, 2012

To follow

The wind blows and I try to follow
a path that disappears.
I stand and wait
It will return soon.
I'll watch again,
and try to follow once more.

See the trees bend and sway
such a grey day
but I must declare
I like the feeling in the air.

No turmoil, no blustery challenge
just a simple wind that beckons me to follow.
A carefree movement
let me move carefree.
Let me enjoy the simple wind
and ask for no more than to follow.

Behind the scenes

The things we experience shape our reality. The people that we allow to join with us, in sharing, make a meaningful day. It has been fulfilling and helpful to have so many friends stop by for a visit. I am blessed by the community of friends who choose to stop by. Whether you're part of my computer community or other, I am grateful.

Over the last two weekends I've had to visit the emergency room. My god-daughter generously took me and stayed with me through the entire agonizing wait.  Should there be a third time, and Lord forbid, I think I'll have her drop me off and show up 8-10 hours later. It's almost guaranteed the ER staff will move slowly along. A big thank you to L.R. Your love and generosity touch my soul.

Today my head fills empty. I suppose too many side effects from medications has me teetering on the edge of blah-ville. My only goal is to keep the nausea I've experienced at bay. As long as I can keep fluids down I'll be better off and can avoid the ER. Yet during all of this I find answers to things I've pursued for months. Empty head or not, I feel peaceful and calm.

The on-call doctor didn't call in nausea meds before the pharmacy closed. That means I do without. I've resorted to old school to sip water or ginger ale, and eat dry toasts; so far, so good. The pain meds are strong so driving my van is out. So I'll be staying home from church today. A difficult decision because I really like attending this church.

I spoke to my mentor about all of the above. This woman is a powerhouse of strength. She prayed over the phone for me and it's quite humbling for someone to do that. Church, this church, has brought something new into my life. I feel surrounded by people that love me. And I feel the same way when it comes to my blogging friends. I don't want to miss church and I don't want to miss my blog! I want to read what others are writing and glean from their experiences. To me there's no better way to live than to enjoy each soul knowing God loves each one; no matter what we individually may choose.

So here it is... my thoughts as they come forward. Illness doesn't have to bring me down. It happens to many and I hope I return the blessing to any one of you when you need support. It's those 'behind the scenes' issues we may not see. Scant details that we'd rather not bother any one with.  Just this spontaneous post; I'm not bragging or complaining; wanted to thank everyone for being who you are and sharing your own, 'behind the scenes' with me.