Stripping away the rose colored glasses of denial concerning my reality. Getting in touch with truth. Reaching out to others in empathy concerning their reality and their walk to truth.

Friday, December 31, 2010

A breath of stars

What is it that I have taken in over the years I’ve lived?
Dreams allowed access to my heart as truth~ so young and not so smart yet.
At my age can I now be considered wise?
No, but I consider myself happy.

Do I release my dreams into the night air, like a breath of stars, into the sky?
It can be a single exhale~ I’ve no need to hold back.
Send them to safety and commit them to occur as they will or will not.
So many dreams prompt me to exhale more than once.

Is it better to give than to receive, believing the gifting is the greater blessing?
It is our dreams that move us~ we join in this universe of breath.
A breath of stars sent from each person to the sky.
To fall upon us later when we are ready and find our happiness from within.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Snow glow 2010

On Christmas evening we left a family gathering heading home. The closer we got home the more flakes fell; slowly getting bigger and bigger; coming down faster and faster. The excitement was electrifying as we pulled onto our street. What some often call, “the Christmas smell” was in the air.

My hometown meteorologist said it was the first Christmas snow, here, in two hundred years. I’m not sure about his stats, but it was the most beautiful I can recall since the 1960’s.

I stood out in the driveway snapping photos, while far off two churches were sounding evening chimes. I found myself praying that we have a small bit of snow to appease the children, and yet, not be burdensome on the homeless. I’ve come to believe that only God knows why things are or come to be as they are.

The next day the wind was blustery; snow swirled from branches overhead to the ground. You’d have thought it was snowing again. We didn’t get that much snow but the sense of quiet and peace it brought was joyfully received. Since then I feel so much more alive!

Wishing each of you a very Happy New Year~

Thank you for reading,


Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Christmas Peeps

Four little babies, lying in the bed ~
The first one rolled over, and this is what he said:

“I really want a train that runs along a track ~
And I’ll be good for Christmas, or you can take it back.”

The second baby said, “A football would be cool ~
And I’ll be good for Christmas, obeying every rule.”

The third baby contemplated every single toy ~
And soon he fell asleep, counting everything as joy.

The fourth baby frowned and finally said these words ~
“I want a room all by myself; not huddled with these birds.”

Monday, December 13, 2010

The warmth

As a child this scene was so familiar. A glowing fireplace shared with the season of Christmas. How often I would lie in front of it and reflect on my world. It was with great delight that I stayed right there, very still, and absorbed the warmth.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Climbing for Christmas

One Christmas morn I felt quite hardy
Excited for the family party
I took a trail that lead uphill
The sights and sounds gave me a thrill

Then halfway up my toes went cold
This great idea was really bold
The bright lit sun beamed on the path
As if to act as warming bath

But cold arose as I went higher
My toes began to feel like fire
The Christmas gifts I packed with care
Were dragging lower on the stair

I focused on the love and peace
Of every nephew and every niece
Their happy smiles would greet me there
But first I must climb up this stair!

I reached the top with happy shout
Then to their home for thawing out
The crazy climb made me a star
But come next year I’ll drive the car!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Walking in light

I’ve read so many blogs recently; so many wonderful writings. Why bother to write one of my own? Why bother sharing my thoughts, experiences, and silliness? Why not? I love to write and when I’m ready the words just tumble out.

At sunrise I sat at my desk looking for my “Yanni” cd. It’s purely instrumental music that inspires me; “Music that soothes the savage beast.” Yes, there must be a beast within because I feel so calmed by this music. Lost in the music I allow my mind to travel, yet let go of thoughts. Where have I been?

Visiting other blogs allows me to glean from their life. I see a blog as a child carrying his or her light along a path. A path that may or may not intersect with mine and the light I carry. Adults honoring our inner child in ways we may not realize. It is always the child who carries the light. It is the adult that develops the strength to share their light. And in sharing, we light the entire path.

Thank you~

Picture credit: “The Graphics Fairy”

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Forest Fruit

It is the first day of December
And the pine, in beauty glows
On its limbs the fruit await
To reach the forest ground below

Their silent fall will touch the earth
Where they wait until they're found
By happy children toting baskets
Gather all, then homeward bound!

Monday, November 29, 2010

Shopping time ~ Let it snow

Oh ~ it’s shopping time
People rushing to and fro’
Hurry, hurry, got to go
All I want is lovely snow.

Oh ~ it’s shopping time
Out to buy the perfect tree
Gifts that pile up to your knee
If only I had learned to ski.

Oh ~ it’s shopping time
Buy some hats with matching gloves
Gifting them to those I love
For snowballs from the stuff above

Let it snow.

Stress Management

Just in case you are having a rough day (week, year, and life), here is a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological journals. The funny thing is that it really does work and will make you smile.

1. Picture yourself lying on your tummy on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream.

2. Picture yourself with both your hands dangling in the cool running water.

3. Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air.

4. No one knows your secret place.

5. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called the world.

6. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.

7. The water is so crystal clear that you can easily make out the face of the person you are holding underwater.

There!! See? It really does work. You're smiling already.

Sunday, November 28, 2010


Tears like leaves do not fall until ready.

There are ten bags of leaves by the road, with more to rake.

I think the tears are on the way.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Meld with peace

Realizing my mind plays tricks
The days go by and I’m not fixed
But on the morrow of my sorrow
I meld with peace and find myself.

* * *

The nights of sleeplessness may have brought me, yes lifting up in crescendo, to a pain I don’t want to know. I lie there as if waiting for the axe to fall upon my neck; my life verily severed. It is then that I wonder how much more can I take? It is often the quiet moments that bring me an answer.

I sat and watched the movie, “Avatar” for a third time. There seemed to be something missing but I don’t know what it could be. [Now the television is advertising a new version, “coming to a theater near you.” Seems the director and producers are reentering some scenes they previously edited out. Okay.] During my third viewing I saw what I knew to be a problem with my own reality. There are people who want to destroy what other people believe in. Speaking metaphorically, the destruction of the “Soul Tree” in “Avatar” was meant to destroy their beliefs. Destroy it and you destroy them? Can that be?

The “bad guys” in the movie wanted the special minerals in the soil. They learn that the biggest deposit is under that tree. They learn that that particular tree is the most prized possession of the people living there. Does that stop the “bad guys”? Has it ever? It gave me a good idea of what “corporate-run military” looks like; soldiers of fortune for hire [call 1-800…].

There are many tragedies I do not understand. Life is full of painful actions and reactions. My own perceptions may mislead me. It is then that I must retreat to a place I’ve come to know as my sanctuary. My own “soul tree” waits as I learn from my behaviors, and move another step closer.

* * *

I meld with peace and find myself.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Welcome August

It's a cool day. The temperature is almost 20 degrees less than the previous weeks of days. The skies are overcast with a yummy gray... not to be confused with that dank looking dark gray. The colors found in the trees and surrounding foliage reflect their colors upward. It's quite mesmerising.

Hold on, I've found a small ray of sunlight. Welcome August!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010


I’ve grown accustomed to my yard.
I stomp the earth beneath my boots.
The flowers growing make me happy
And the beans all make me snappy…
~inhale slowly-exhale slowly~
Ah yes… I’ve grown accustomed to my yard.

(Find some time to enjoy the outdoors.)

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

A prayer for Susan

My dear friend
please surround her with loving arms
invisible and yet
feeling your presence

Give to her more than you would me
give her so much more
stop her ache
dry her tears

Annointed one of everything good
I trust your way
help my friend today
and through tomorrows...

Summer warmth

All winter long I wait for this. I wait for temperatures to reach the nineties. Add some humidity and it's 104 degrees Fahrenheit. So warm, but to the bones it feels great! It's like a warm bath soothing my achy muscles.

This is one of my favorite places to sit. Thanks to a very dear friend who takes care of the yard. I miss the days when I could do it all.

Here's my 'cool off' tip: take a bottle of water when you're sitting outside. When you get too warm pour a small capful of water on top of your head. Even if the water is warm it will feel cool.

Have a great summer everyone!!

Thursday, July 1, 2010


Big fancy word, accountability. I had to ask myself, "how many miles would I be willing to give up driving, to save the oceans? Would I be willing to see family less often? What products that use petroleum would I give up as well?

So began my questioning of my actions. I can sit here and say I didn't cause this gulf mess, however, I do use fuel. So I could say they're drilling for me. Only I wish they'd ask if a five mile below surface drill seemed the smart thing? I would have told them to invent another product conducive to 'life's' continuance. Every night, on the news, a parade of animal life is dead arriving on the shoreline, or else floating upon the waves.

Alas, Global Greed at it's finest, forsaking accountability? Nah, I don't think so. I think there's more to it. More will be revealed as time goes by; keep watching.

*A correction for my previous post, please note: Joni Mitchell wrote the song, "Back to the Garden." A big 'thank you' to Paige!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010


"We've got to get ourselves back to the garden."

~Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young, Taylor, and Me.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Scallop fettuccine

Ah vacation time!

This summer all flights are being diverted to the Gulf Coast. It's a promotional thing that sponsors "fine dining by the sea; thus refueling the plane and the people simultaneously. It's an ideal idea. It will be fun to watch them pull in crabs and scallops from the shore's edge.

You may want to 'question' that scallop fettuccine with the brown sauce. Reminds me of the good old days and Oysters Rockefeller.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Monsters in the ocean

In the ocean
Where the monsters bleed
In the gorgeous depths
Where everyone can feed
Life is fast approaching panic
But the companies are having fun
There’s money if they wait
More money, if they’re late
Fixing the monsters

Friday, May 21, 2010

What is Celibacy?

Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by

While attending a Marriage Weekend, Walter and his wife, Ann, listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."

He then addressed the men, "Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?"

Walter leaned over, touched Ann's arm gently, and whispered,'Gold Medal-All-Purpose, right?'

~And thus began Walter's life of celibacy.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Phil and Buster

Washington, DC was the sight of a giant protest today. Canines from across the country came in for the “take your pet to work day.” Congress showed a lack of concern for the loss of trees within the USA capitol.

“It is becoming progressively worse as time goes on,” according to one official dog, who spoke on condition of anonymity. “I cannot share with you the action we pursue, but stick around. When Congress breaks for lunch, you’ll see the problem we face.”

Several agencies, along with Phil and Buster, have teamed up to confront this head on. “We may have to bark quite loud, but we intend to be heard,” said Buster.

His pal, Phil, sat back, snickering: “Oh yes, and wait until Congress try to use their toilets. Those bones we flushed are set to return. That’s what we call “Phil and Buster to the rescue.”

Photo credit: came to me in an email with 37 others; I liked it.
Story: I made it up, though, there’s always someone protesting something, in Washington, DC.
Moral of the story: “Save the trees” or “can we simply flush bad politics?”
Resolution: Plant more trees? No more “take your pet to work” days?

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Saturday's storms

A friend called to make sure I was okay, having been through Saturday’s storms. Sure I was fine. She said that on the TV news were stories of terrible winds, hail, and storms, in my area. Not me, I had wonderful breezes, gentle rain, and a nice cool wind.

Later when going to the store I noticed my neighbor’s house. Oh my! Just a couple of streets away from me and the damage is irreparable. One of the community’s two hundred year old trees had cut the house in half. Really; it looked like a raw egg had been cracked open, everything spilling out, onto the ground around it. The foundation cracked apart and the house shifted off of the foundation in many spots. I was grateful to hear it had been sitting empty for two weeks pending some renovation work.

I never heard a sound. My home was so quiet, except for the gentle rain against the window. I'm so glad that house was empty.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

two rolls please

I step lightly, going forward, into my path; is this the way I'm supposed to walk? For now I think so. I think I need to move easy through what appears to be a maze or picture puzzle.

When I realized I had started another seven year cycle of age, I knew there would be changes. There always are things that I let go of, and things that I obtain. So it's not surprising that I rediscovered something from a long time ago.

I bought two rolls of bubble wrap. Here's to making it through this next seven year age.

Monday, May 10, 2010

in the yard

Most of my weekend was spent out in my yard; lots of flower beds to tend. This is a favorite Iris. It's a fast spring this year, as summer plants are already popping up.

~That's all.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

living amongst the cheap

I made a reservation with the city-county office to take a special driving course. My own insurance company was allowing a ten percent discount for those who completed it. Oh hey, I can do that. Sure, I was calculating the monies saved and where I would use it; never gave a big thought as to where the course would be located.

The advert said, "Learn to drive on rough, rugged terrain. Wind-swept, breathe-taking dunes await your arrival. Enjoy your extra time at lunch visiting our shops!"

On the morning of the class I arrived at the chartered bus stop; just a one day trip, they said, so I packed light. It was slow going at first, with the driver verifying every one's reservation. Still I was so excited, I almost missed the fact that we only traveled half a mile before we stopped. We stopped?

Oh the visions of grandeur that left my brain in a two second flash. We pulled into this conglomerate of parking lots. We were at a mall that had been closed for quite some time. A gigantic oval of sand circled 'round and 'round, and I thought: "I don't know what to think about this!"

It was rough alright. The sand was anything but still, shifting constantly, with highs and lows that made me nauseous. Cute, little fake palms trees disappeared when Mr. Wilson did his "James Bond" spin. Then Mrs. Spencer ran over them, dropping her transmission and a load of trans liquid into the sand. "Not to worry!" she yelled as she stepped out of the car, "they use sand at the race track, to take up spills, all the time."

Finally my turn arrived, and I stood there looking at the utter destruction of the driving course. "Excuse me," I addressed the instructor, "how can I complete the 'sand dune run' without a sand dune being there?" The sharp shrill of a whistle met our ears, as he called everyone to go.

The bus driver handed out an 'exit surveys' - asking students' opinions of the course. "Oh well," he says, "there's always the great shopping here."

Friday, April 30, 2010

Charity begins at home

Kitty Hawk Beach sunrise - the Outer Banks of North Carolina

It’s an old saying but one that needs to be paid attention to: “charity begins at home.” Knowing what we have, what we need, and what we can give away, is empowering. For me it evokes the ‘fruit of the lips,’ of saying praises and thanks.

Lately I’m reminded of what I have that needs nurturing and care. Within myself there is much to be thankful for. The changes I’ve been able to make that give me strength; better choices envelope health. And when I’m not worried or bothered about my health, I can move on to other areas that need renewed attention.

For the better part of three years I’ve forgotten me. You cannot imagine. It’s like I woke up one morning and said this is now going to stop. Out of the air, something like a scoop of magical dust of maturity, hit me like a brick. I needed to give to myself. I needed to recognize that I was losing me, otherwise.

So if I don’t write very much or very often, it’s due to my new choice. Maybe you know how free and fully I want to live. This blog is simply not big enough for me to live within.

My Mom use to say: “Man cannot live by bread alone, he must have peanut butter.” She also said, “Charity begins at home.”

(A special thank you to Heather P. for her wonderful blog that touched my heart this week.) Blog title: "Soundoff"...see my reading list!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

mind demon

"A Jewel Shining through," left me this comment and I'd like to respond via this post. She's very much in tune with self-discovery being a form of recovery.

"Dixie, well done on reaching back and drawing yourself back to your true self - you still have that spark within, however dim it might seem to you now, just a breathe will fan the flames again. Wishing you the best, Julie xx"

Thank you Julie. I know you get it; most have no clue. They think I'm living in the past or refusing to let it go. But what if the past suddenly catches up and I have to ask where the events existed to begin with? Does an event have anything to do with my current reality? Then again, most know nothing of 'emotional amnesia'... so the nightmares or the dreams mean nothing to them either. (More of that another time or another blog.) I'm glad you visited. XX

In my estimation there are many years I can't recall due to trauma. That hasn't stopped them from sending me messages! The 'self-help' aisle is lined with greedy people. Looking over the products they present can be frustrating. I tire of being someone's subject; I enjoy being human.

Excuse me, the little demon on my shoulder is trying to tell me that I have no more strength. "Oh! did I knock you off? So sorry!"


the graduate

What seems like a long time ago has returned to teach me. The joyous life of that special girl holds out her hand for me to take. I've decided to respond as best I can; she has dreams I'm slowly remembering. She has spunk and spark, things I need to live boldly... as I "boldly go where no one has gone before."

If I write here it is to clear my head. The book I started is calling me to complete it. So if you get anything out of this, congratulations.

If it's true that "I am my own worst enemy"...then I can also be my own best friend. Just like the graduate I was many years ago...I trusted me first.


a real snow job

Alice is a friend of mine who lives in North Dakota. She laughs at me whenever I tell her: "It snowed here last night." I go on and on, all excited, thinking a 2 inch snow is something to be excited about... until Alice sent me this photo from her local news. I almost died laughing at myself. I call her "Alice in wonderland' now; I mean how the heck do you get around in that mess? I'm hoping she'll send me the photo of the plow that cleared that.

So if you're not in the Dakotas, you might not get it. Get what? ...get the 22 feet of snow. Now that's a real snow job.

~Thanks Alice. Maybe you'll see the ground by summer.

the brushes are drying

Water. I need water. I need it to keep my brushes from drying. A very simple need and yet I keep forgetting to retrieve it.

My needs are so simple and yet I deny myself the treasury of life. This stops now! From now on, I live, I move on to a place where I'll be free to use or not use my talent. I will not allow anyone or anything to stand in the way of what I want, or don't want.

I took a trip in a time machine
It was the strangest place I've ever seen
No one there resembled 'green'
So I came home and recharged my batteries.

No one. No one. No one is going to stand in my way!


Tuesday, April 20, 2010

going with the flow

There's no quick fix for every thing that comes and goes along my path. I use precious tme to build my mind and my body suffers. There is balance, but I have only had a glimpse of I go from one extreme to another.

In the living room, on my couch, I sat; tears in my eyes, I wanted to begin anew, but how? The phone rang and a friend explained her son was having surgery. Four years younger than me and tomorrow he faced bi-pass surgery on his heart. She called because she wanted me to pray for him.

God,(as I like to call Him) has always answered my prayers. It's not always in the manner or time that I expect, but that's okay, we have an understanding. Strange... I sat there just minutes before wondering what to pray for myself. I'm thinking I needed a different focus; was that fast or what?

If you're reading this and you use prayer: please pray for Robin.


Monday, April 19, 2010

Standing still

Late at night when the house is very quiet, I feel as if, time is standing still. There's a silence that beckons me to write but the day has left me exhausted; tonight I'll write anyway. I'll write because if I stop I may never start again.

Experiences of the past three - four months has left me with lots of questions. I've decided it's just one thing at a time... and if time is standing chances of success might be better.

That's really all I have to share.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

It's Over!

...due to lack of interest!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

To my friend: Hazelmarie Elliott (mattie)

Time, space or place will never change the feelings I have~
your thoughts often inspire me to travel on
as I've my own song~
yet once thought to borrow a chorus from you

The wind is strong today~
yes indeed, "farewell for now"
I release your hand at the first steps' landing
but the chorus will forever play in my heart

Tell God and Fate, hello~

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Pretty and pretty loud!

Quite a lovely bird! Absolutely and completely colorless...well, almost; yet enough to be called an 'Albino Peacock'. Albino indicates little or no pigmentation or color. The Albino Peacock is quite the rare bird, but just as noisy as their colorful counterparts. Try whistling in the loudest, highest-pitched sound you can possibly make... and they are still louder!

Uh-oh... cover your ears. He's staring at the camera!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

When animals ask...

During the first week of March, when the temperature in Southern Australia reached 120 degrees F., the koalas started approaching humans for water. Some went to nearby homes, but this one stopped some bikers.

It behooves us to watch for animal distress, help them when we can, especially when they ask. This had never happened before to the people of Austrailia. They answered the call by placing large containers of water on porches and out in their yards. Or as these bikers did: they stopped and shared their supply!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

You are...

Grey clouds slipped under a blue sky.
I turned my face to the wind and felt your presence.
You were there and I could tell.
You are the shadow in my life.

The first time I met you a fear grasped my hand.
Would I touch you in the hour before twilight?
It wasn’t fair that I could not.
You are the shadow of my life.

Snow flakes growing large in the yard I call home.
I held out my tongue to taste their sweetness.
Warmth on my cheek beckoned an embrace.
You are the shadow of my life.

Dawn arose taking the last play of darkness.
I waved goodbye to a shape that quickly faded.
Again, joy is followed by some quiet happy tears.
You are…

The following quote is from ‘Facebook’. No author was credited; I borrowed it:

Human beings are the only species on Earth whose inner lives are so powerful that what we think about a situation, how we describe it to ourselves, what meaning we attribute to it or draw from it, matters more than the event itself. And who is doing the thinking, describing and attributing of meaning? You are.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Carrying the Spirit

Vancouver, can you hear me?
Vancouver, I’m on my way.
Save a place on yonder mountain
I’ll be there by light of day.

~What a great time I had; becoming a 'curling up on my couch' spectator! Some of the most beautiful land in the world holds a variety of people with great spirit. I found it all endearing.

~And that great spirit? I found myself caught up in the moment of each game. It surprised me that I pulled for all teams, all nations. So many young people came, yet 'old-timers' returned, and took their share. I think this (pictured)young Canadian says it all.

During the Olympic Opening, this bear arose from the stadium floor. Our host literaly lifted it with wiring at the top. The circles within the cloth form the bear's shape. Amazing idea!

Now I find it feels symbolic of lifting spirits; readying all to work or play in good manner and communication. It's like a giant hug from Canada to all. It's like a challenge from Vancouver to continue 'carrying the spirit,' they so freely gave. Thank you!