"A Jewel Shining through," left me this comment and I'd like to respond via this post. She's very much in tune with self-discovery being a form of recovery.
"Dixie, well done on reaching back and drawing yourself back to your true self - you still have that spark within, however dim it might seem to you now, just a breathe will fan the flames again. Wishing you the best, Julie xx"
Thank you Julie. I know you get it; most have no clue. They think I'm living in the past or refusing to let it go. But what if the past suddenly catches up and I have to ask where the events existed to begin with? Does an event have anything to do with my current reality? Then again, most know nothing of 'emotional amnesia'... so the nightmares or the dreams mean nothing to them either. (More of that another time or another blog.) I'm glad you visited. XX
In my estimation there are many years I can't recall due to trauma. That hasn't stopped them from sending me messages! The 'self-help' aisle is lined with greedy people. Looking over the products they present can be frustrating. I tire of being someone's subject; I enjoy being human.
Excuse me, the little demon on my shoulder is trying to tell me that I have no more strength. "Oh! did I knock you off? So sorry!"
;)
Dear dc,
ReplyDeleteSomeone once said that you can't change the past, but you can change the way you think about it. That little maxim has been enormously helpful to me. I think that in going over past events one should always try to retain the good stuff, and perhaps leave the rest where it belongs- behind you. After all, memory itself can be so unreliable- often the mind can distort the truth of situations if they are far enough behind to be beyond clear recollection. So it is that only by changing the way we perhaps think about things do we, as you say, find ourselves and the future.
So, that's my little piece said, dc. Hope you find it of interest or even useful.
Yours in peace and respect,
David.
p.s. I thoroughly agree with you about all that "self help" stuff. Perhaps you don't need that, just a few true friends, and I hope us blogging pals of yours make you feel just that little bit better.
Shucks *blushes* Thanks. I get it because it's been my experience too so you are not alone, but this year for me is about letting go, bit by bit, of my past's hold as it has inferred with my life long enough. Sometimes it is hard for me to believe this, but hard is challenging, not impossible, and as each bit is let go off, its hold on me is lost a little more. Sometimes I wish I didn't think as much, but that wouldn't be me ;) Best wishes, Julie xx
ReplyDeletePS I forgot to say I love the photo - I love lavender :)
ReplyDeleteDear David and Julie,
ReplyDeleteThank you both for commenting.
It is a great temptation to walk away from it all and not allow another moment to ever bother me.
I may not have accurate memory of every event. I may not have any memory of a lot of events. I do know that to ignore the emotions that whell inside of me can be avoided by forgiving the parts and partials I can.
My 'mind demon' is anger.
Thanks again! dc