Stripping away the rose colored glasses of denial concerning my reality. Getting in touch with truth. Reaching out to others in empathy concerning their reality and their walk to truth.

Monday, November 4, 2013

Right now, I am small

Right now, I am small.
Things are simple with a single tiny focus.
Earthly eyes are not yet in my possession.
I am simply loved, by all who see me.

Right now, I am small.
There is no clue about my future.
My crib is a home that I love to be in.
Warm kisses great me all day long.

Dad comes and goes.
Mom always knows ~ my every need.
Grandma with sweet songs.
Grandpa plays ping-pong ~ with my toes.
For right now, I am small.

Sunday, November 3, 2013


Golds and browns, accept your fate ~
a chill arrives, it's getting late.

Your branches gray, with dying moss ~
prepare again for season's loss.

Sleep is due with curling leaves ~
that gather 'neath the forest trees.

Creatures come to build their nests ~
for Autumn's time gives way to rest.

Sleep oh forest without a sound ~
in beauty deep of golds and browns,

Of golds and browns ~ sleep ~

Saturday, November 2, 2013

It's just a story - right?

"Over yon hill boy, is the Thanksgiving Day Parade of 2013. Things are so different from our own year of 2050. But come, let us have a look at what they do. I just know it must be exciting; otherwise it might not have been given the sentimental name, "Turkey Day."

A portal opens and two birds from the future come to view the tradition of Thanksgiving. What will they find? Will they realize it is scary and unsafe for them to be in this year? Indeed I'm beginning to wonder if  people are safe being in this year. Especially here in the US of A.; seems we have a lot of 'turkeys' at the top, with fewer and fewer eagles of yesteryear remaining.

"Giant balloons, marching bands, baton-twirling dancers, Broadway skits - surely boy, I say, surely boy, it doesn't get any better than this! And oh look, a huge balloon of our distinguished ancestor, "Tom Turkey"... hi Tom!!!"

The two birds watch as the hours pass. Eventually, they stand next to a row of houses; peeking into window after window they are shocked to find that people are baking turkeys. What in the world is going on?

"They're eating our ancestors?!! I can't handle watching anymore. Let's return to our own time. I'm sure your Mom has finished stewing that swill of man. You know boy, this might explain why in 2050 we eat man every Thanksgiving."

Poof! The birds pop back through their portal. Safe in 2050 they petition the local counsel to start having a Thanksgiving Day parade. And maybe a large balloon of "Charlie Brown." Why not? Some traditions are worth keeping.

Okay ~ the end.

Thursday, October 31, 2013

In my yard

Today I sat and watched the leaves. Just like this picture with it's movement.
It was so nice. It was so quiet. I love days like this.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Trick or treat?

Take care what you wish for - it's Halloween

Such an amazing tree house! Three children stood on the ground looking up. Three separate tiers, so maybe  three rounds of candy? Curiosity pulled them in. Climbing only a few steps, one child raised her hand and knocked on the door.

Knock, knock, knock.

A voice from above spoke softly, "I'm up here; climb up here."

So three young children out to seek their weight in candy climbed to the next tier. "Go on," one said, "give her a knock."

Knock, knock, knock.

The same soft voice floated on the air, "I'm up here; climb up here."

The three children, weary from all the steps, hoped they would find the treasure they sought at the last and final tier. The child who hadn't knocked before now raised her hand to do so. "What are you waiting for?" asked the eldest.

Knock, knock, knock.

A face appeared before them. It was as if it were part of the wood, and oh how lovely that face was, or the wood... The soft voice spoke hastily, "My, my, what ever do you wish for; hurry up, I don't have all day."

The three little children found their voice and cries of  "trick or treat," filled the air.

The face in the door looked slowly at each little child and asked, "So which is it, that you wish for... a trick or a treat?"

Answering her question they began to jump, up & down, up & down, up, & down, screaming, "We want candy treats; lots of candy treats; all of the candy treats in the world!"

Suddenly from the sky thousands of candy treats fell, piling up until the top tree house tier collapsed onto the second tier. The quaking continued as more treats fell, collapsing the second tier onto the bottom tier. The children were falling fast now caught in the massive amount of treats, but still screaming for more! A final thud as the bottom tier collapsed, and thousands of chocolate chip cookies covered up their last breath. Bburbburburrrrr.

The lovely face in the door laughed and laughed, while three tiny ghosts flew off into the woods to live forevermore.

The end.

Loki's give away - amazing artistry

This is for my fellow blogger, Andrew. His blog,  "Loki's Great Hall", is having a special give away. He's celebrating his 200th follower. That in itself is an amazing feat! But you must see his artwork, the piece he is giving away!!

Though my own personal choice is acrylic painting on canvas, I can certainly appreciate his wonderful talent. This is a real treasure for gamers who love to battle.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Where I belong

Many times I've walked this site ~
with thoughts of nothing but delight.

Sheer joy with every step I take ~
never hurried, never late.

All round the world seems cold ~
but I come here to cheer my soul.

Loving hands will keep me strong ~
and I will dwell where I belong.

Monday, September 2, 2013

Bourne - again?

First, some music to listen to while you read my smallish post.

Agent "dc" is hot on the trail of a wicked banking industry - one that seeks to destroy her reputation and peaceful home. (No joke - true story.) They seek to possess her heart and soul. But agent "dc" holds all of the documents to dispute the evil, vile bank. Stay tuned for more updates. Agent "dc" has her own "Bourne Identity" and may even decide to take cello lessons.

Saturday, July 27, 2013

fencing lessons

Fenced in or flying free ~ sometimes I wonder  ~ which one is me?

Is there an ebb, like the ocean's tide, that carries sorrow and joy throughout our lives? Why is it, that I'll be celebrating a victory of some sort when suddenly, there's a crisis? This has been a repeated 'thing' throughout my life.  I'm come to realize that most everyone else experiences similar flows ~ ~ ~

In with the good, out with the bad... what pray tell was I missing? My turn around time was too short. You know that "moment" you need to feel supported right before the bridge collapses? I'm counting: 1, 2, 3, and really thinking I'll make it to 5... but at 3.2 I'm screwed. (Sorry, but screwed IS the appropriate word.) Oh, "for Pete's sakes, " I'll give you my latest example. (By the way, where did "for Pete's sakes," come from?)

I've been so swept away being the happy homeowner; come this August 8th, it will be two years! Wow! As most of you know I began a mission to build my own block walls to redirect rain water flow and, in general, create some extra beauty. It's also helped me exercise the arm that I broke in May a year ago. My, how time has flown.

It's been great and though some days I cannot get more than seven to ten blocks moved, I'm almost done. I'm on the fourth wall and yet, "I'm off the wall." Yep, one day I stood out in the rain watching the water, and the natural path it chose... winding around and down the hill... my blocks would accommodate the clouds! I felt 'green'. LOL.

Then I noticed that one of the rain downspouts needed help directing water away from the house. You know... those long metal things/pipe-like drains that pull rain water from the roof?! So I took a little trip down to my basement to see if I could 'engineer' something to help temporarily. Gosh, hadn't been down in the basement for over a week; been so busy watching the rain from the outside for the block mission. Egad! Water on the floor! Oh my... water in half of the basement. I knew we had several hard rains over the last week but... this! This was going to take some work. Exactly five days on my own and the basement is now dry.

Here's the good part. The new paths I've made using the blocks are working. If not the entire basement would have been flooded. I did discover that my sump pump has ceased living!(sigh) I've been watching videos to see if I can do a replacement installation. Basically I have to find out what the current model, size, make is. I guess it's like buying a car?? And yep, I already checked the electrical outlets... they're working fine. Anyway I can always call for a consultation with an expert. They don't charge but their help might give me an edge I don't already have. You see, I'm also going to put commercial downspouts on my home; should have been that way from the beginning. It's a big roof!!! Try not to laugh, dcrelief has high hopes.

So... being a homeowner... am I fenced in or flying free? Forget that... just let me know how you're doing. Or maybe you've done some house project that would help. And yes, don't do like my neighbor across the street and say, "You need a man." (As he smiled and batted his eyelids at me.) Personally I think the maintenance on my house would be cheaper!!!

Thanks for reading.

Friday, July 5, 2013

ode to rain

Summer, summer, summer,
and the rain came down.

Trickle, trickle, tickle,
not a dry spot found.

While here I sit in swaddling clothes  ~
the raindrops running down my nose.

Ode, ode, ode  ~
thus my ode to rain.

(Image: "The Graphics Fairy"; Thanks, Fairy!)

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

a child's summer

Sunlight plays on the garden
where tiny bees gather nectar.
I watch as they sip from all the flowers,
taking hours to get their fill.

It takes me far away
from the things that trouble me.
Life slows down for just a while,
I have to smile and  remember when.

Teddy bear clouds dance on the wind,
float through the air and gone.
That was a summer to never forget,
never regret the growth of my soul.

Even as my Mom called to me
a time for dinner, then to bed.
The day was through,
goodnight to you, you flew on.

Friday, June 21, 2013

making beds to lie in...

Life has a way of circling back memories we'd thought forgotten. So it was with me this past week as I made the bed in the smallest room of my home. It used to be my room. Long since painted a different shade of lavender, it still feels like my space! Perfect for viewing the sunset, I travel there so I can travel elsewhere... in my mind... remembering a certain thirteen year old doing the very same thing.
Of course there's a 'jambox' for listening to music. What sane teenage girl would be without her favorite tunes? Set to radio I flipped the switch and suddenly was transported to 1968. A song from the past filled the air; I had more memories than my heart could contain. The overflow spilled onto my cheeks. Okay now... it's okay now.
June - 1968 - Mom and I are making my bed in the small room. The gentle guitar moves, finger fretting, came over the air and we knew the song. "Ode to Billie Joe" and we knew the words, mostly. Mom got to the verse that says:
"There was a virus going 'round; Papa caught it and he died last spring." But then she made a goof and continued... "and now Papa doesn't seem to wanna do much of anything."
Pure hysterical laughter as we realized her mistake. I guess Papa wouldn't want to do much of anything.(smile)
June- 2013 - So there I was making that bed, thinking about all my troubles of late. Reached over and flipped the switch on that old 'jambox' and yep... got to the part of Mom's goof and hooted and hollered. I laughed until I cried but I was laughing.
Lots of speculation about that song. Bobbie Gentry, author and artist, moved on to study Philosophy in California. She once told the BBC, 1968, the song was a "study in unconscious cruelty," which I didn't understand until I saw the 1976 movie. So finding this video really is eye-opening because you see firsthand the "family table talk" and dancing around the "why".  A young man is dead because the times were as they were... being gay was "unpardonable" by people. Forty-five years have passed... are we there yet?

Monday, June 10, 2013

Friday, May 31, 2013

One summer & Paul

I was fourteen, loving life, living as large as an eighth grade student could live. My super high on life was going to last forever. I was sure. Besides it was the summer of 69, who could lose?

My Grandmother's home was just around the curve from the Clinton water tower. You saw the tower, you were practically standing on her old white-washed wooden porch. There was probably a chicken or two in the yard; they'd scatter whenever cars rolled into that big dirt driveway. The neighbor's dog, "Champ" would come off the porch, bark a moment as if to say, "what took you so long?" Then Grandmother herself in the apron of the day would greet us with a loud, "Hello there, I need some hugs!"

A big family gathering this time as cousin Paul was arriving home from Vietnam. Two tours of duty... a proud Marine... but something was so wrong. He wasn't the same. But I was fourteen, going to live forever, and glad to see my favorite cousin. He told me of the time I mailed him Wrigley's chewing gum and he had to do fifty push-ups to keep the gum. Next time I needed to mail it so the mail officer wouldn't know... "Lay all five pieces of gum flat, then tape them to the back of your letter."  It worked!

Grandmother's home looked like one of those old southern, stately homes. (Think, "Gone With the Wind" - the movie.) My Grandfather had died before I was born. He and the Mrs. paid the large sum of $1800 for a two story, 35 acre home; with twelve children it came in handy. My favorite part was the porch that wrapped around three-fourths of the house; particularly the wooden swing on the side where the rose bushes grew. South Carolina sand was a natural for the plants. Aunt Pat would be playing hymns in the parlour, while I would absorb the aroma of the flowers. That piano was possibly a hundred years old, but she kept it tuned for her Mom. Gradually all the brother and sisters would become this all-gospel choir. I preferred rock, but listening while swinging, sure did make a body feel peaceful. Then again, maybe it was just the summer of 69.

Pretty soon "the choir" would stop and a massive movement of rocking chairs would start to fill the very front of the porch. Everyone looking outwards toward the road waving, "howdy" to every passing car. Younger cousins filled the yard chasing chickens or playing dodge ball. They would run until they dropped. Only cousin Paul remained in his room on the second floor.

My own family was there for two days. In that time I rarely saw Paul. He seemed to stay out of sight on purpose. My uncle who was still in the Marines and had been to Vietnam, asked everyone to give Paul time. "You cannot imagine," he said, "leaving the killing fields one day to arrive in perfect safety the next. The shock of death surrounds you and then you're home where people are singing hymns. Makes you wonder if God even knows there's a Vietnam."

Two weeks, maybe three passed. A busy fourteen year old was making beach plans. My parents had rented a tiny cottage for a week and I was so ready for fun and sun. In fact we were loading the car when the mail ran. My Mom called out, "Hey, Dixie, here's a letter from Paul for you." I was excited that he might continue writing me after getting home. But then I saw the return address... one of those long, multi-lined, multi-number addresses of the military. He signed on for a third tour. I read as hot tears welled up and fell on my cheeks. He felt that's where he belonged.

"I cannot relate to anyone. Maybe Uncle Tony because he's been here, but even he seems to be okay. He has Aunt Deb and the kids. At home I'm alone. Here I have my buddies; we are family. I cannot leave them. I cannot stay where there is no sound. For in that silence I hear their cries. I love you. Please write. Love, Paul"

When he requested his fifth tour of duty they refused him. Once home he stayed in a drunken blitz. In and out of trouble with the law, and no relationship ever lasted. He was so alone. I was 28 and we arranged to spend a day hanging out. We had so much fun and he didn't drink the entire time. We drove down all the back roads... making it to Grandmother's house finally. Since her death no one was there to care for it. He had a taken an apartment after his Mom threw him out. But on this day none of that mattered to him. He and an old friend were enjoying life. A year later he was dead... fatal car accident, though some suspect suicide. I don't know but I'm certainly not going to cast a stone. If anyone needed peace he did... and those who serve in the same capacity.

Thank you for reading.

I dedicate this video to Paul.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

White sky = emptiness?

Words no words,
and yet I feel the need to type

What goes on
within a mind that's so distracted?

Where did I
lay down my peaceful attitude?

It was here
just days ago and disappeared again.

Chemtrails against the sky
are you the reason I've faltered at living?

Taking no pleasure
in anything outside and yet I go there.

Words just words,
but they're all I have for expression.

White sky emptiness
you will not win; even as I write, I've won.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

No blame

Finding focus... reasons to continue... mid-life, but late, crisis?
Meanwhile being outside brings me some sort of fulfillment... a normal spring, again.
But wait! Let me start at the latest beginning, as I enter into:

Rant # 3,648

Wars and rumors of wars... every day. Everybody wants to rule the world. (Wasn't there a song by that title?)

Forget gold and silver... check out the price of a rump roast. A simple everyday cheap cut of beef. So I bought some ground turkey to do a hearty meatloaf. It had absolutely no flavor.

I'm thinking to give up cigarettes, though I really like to smoke. The cost doesn't bother me, but of late with all the people bumming "just one", it's become a nuisance. And heaven hold your breath should I say, "I'll sell you one for 15 cents." You'd think I was charging an arm and a leg! Only those people who know the importance of a budget understand "why" the small price.

On one hand I find myself angry about home issues; then just as quickly I am thankful to have a home at all. I entered my eighth month of an overwhelmed budget. The light is now visible and I am happy to be moving in a right direction. (In previous posts I shared the combination of occurrences that brought this about.)

I often come to my blog thinking I must only post good stuff. Nothing sad, mad, or scared, should ever be committed to the Internet world of "dcrelief". What a bunch of rubbish! If anything I want to convey the fact that I am real. I live. I cry. I laugh. I fall down and get up. What anyone thinks of me is not the issue. If someone reads this blog and determines one sentence gets them through some issue of their own... then that's important. I'd like to know about those things.

God's blessings. There is so much controversy concerning religion. Hah! There's nothing NEW under the sun. (Ecclesiastes). With a few years of peace here and there, but not necessarily everywhere at the same time... there's nothing new. As if all the arguing and debate is the point of religion. Hmm? No, nothing new there either...  and ~ it is the point... keep everyone fighting. Then if our house gets hit by the storm, call it God's will. Don't call it HARRP.

The reason I live is because I have faith that the very God people would shun does indeed exist. It's taken me years and some wonderful experiences to shape that belief... and it is belief. Most of those experiences had negative results... for a while. I could no more "see" anything good to come than the next person. And don't think I've got it down pat today either. I'll always be seeking His face. End of topic.

So I am back to the start of my post. I think it must be time for a change though I have no idea what that might be. It just seems to be a waiting time. Maybe my head needs to catch up with my heart. Until then I'll keep doing the short sabbaticals in the sunlight; after all it is spring, still. The post man will be happy to note the removal of the poison ivy from the area of the mailbox! The rubbish collectors will be happy to see the neat little piles of brush by the road; job security? Last of all a Fibromyalgia fog is hopefully lifting soon. I can't wait for the poetry of my heart to return to the blog.

Thanks for visiting!

Monday, May 13, 2013

"let me out"

It's thrilling to meet an artist who can do this type of work. He simply "sees" the object "inside" of the wood. It beckons him to let it out.(wow)

The tree man will return this week to do more tree removal. Our last episode had him cutting the large, limbless trunk into eight sections. They respectfully measure between 8-12 feet each, with a diameter of 3-4 feet. This is no tiny tree!

Can he make this bench? I'll have to show him this photo and see what he says. Also I can't wait to see photos of things he's been making during the interim. Hints of specially designed pieces were clues from the last episode. I suspect he'll have the Adirondack chair completed??!(smile)

Surreal - Tuesdays

Have you ever had a moment when time appeared to stand still, even though the days are passing quickly? This is what I'm experiencing. I count Tuesdays. It seems to be a anchoring point. Suddenly seven days have passed and it's Tuesday again. Tuesday? Is there any significance in my choice of Tuesday? I have no idea.
Any thoughts from the blog-sphere?

And the photo? It's as if they are standing still... surreal.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Memory rose

Hi Mom~ your rose began to bloom on Thursday.

Strange how nothing came to mind for me to blog about.
Not until I sat down and remembered the rose, did it occur to me.
I must have walked past it a dozen times on Friday.

My god-daughter has a phone camera.
Yes, you'd love her too.
I can't wait for you to meet her! One fine day.

You're the one who said, "Every year when that rose blooms..."
You know I thought it was dead, so we cut it back really hard.
"... you'll know that I'm thinking of you, Dixie.

Thanks for the rose, Mom.

Thursday, May 2, 2013


I would love to return to a place of innocence.
Did I grow out of it, or did older people influence my change?

And why would they rush me to grow up?
What could possibly be greater than beauty and wonder?

Curiosity painted the flowers - each one a carefree color.
Tiny petals tempted the brush: "paint me red, no paint me yellow."

Little eyes gaze upon small bugs wanting to paint them too.
Look at all the feet that could use little shoes.

Adults tell me I cannot go back; are they wrong?
I love a retreat for a heart that loves nature's creatures.

Grab your paintbox and your brushes.
I go to a place of innocence ~ and you?

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

by the light

By all means, the lights must stay on.

As I child I explored the world of darkness. There were many moments of fervent adventure under my bed covers to places unknown. Yes, there might be the occasional lamp or flashlight to abolish a creepy feeling, but I never thought the light would become a necessity. And who paid for light? Wasn't that a gift from the Creator I so loved? Wasn't night time darkness simply the sun taking a nap? And hey! Why wasn't the moon always around? The biggest night time lamp available that wasn't always shining; what was the deal?

This photo captured the essence of my most recent adventure.  I'm mostly all grown up and yet keeping the light has become more important that playing in the dark. Arrggghhh! One day you realise how much a power system holds you captive. The company that provides it is the big bogeyman monopoly... not unlike the game of the same name... you can purchase stock in it you know?

It's a hard climb but I think I've finally reached a place where I can plug in. I cannot control the price of the therms... just wear more thermals when it's cold. Summertime will soon brings it's own irrational thoughts to be dealt with. Maybe an ice pack in my lap while I'm at the laptop?!! Either way, damn it, by all means... the lights must stay on.

Do you have a choice of energy companies where you live or a monopoly like I live with???

Or what do you think about the photo? I found it while looking for new light fixtures! This could actually work for me.

Sunday, April 28, 2013

spring rite - right?

Nothing says Spring like a pot of pigs in chocolate pudding.
Hey nana boo-boo, bring on the pigs.

Nothing says Spring like a barrel of those little wafer bars.
Hey nana boo-boo, bring on the bars.

When I was a child
Chocolate wasn't there
Not like it is today
But only at the fair ~
Hard candy and cotton stuff
May have been nice
But wasn't enough!

Hey nana boo-boo, I'm older.

On a more serious note - it's been raining all day. Ah, what has happened to the sunshine? Now I must trek to the store and find some chocolate morsel to satisfy this crazy craving. Is it the rain that tortures me? Might the torrential downpour prohibit me from my trek? Would I, could I be satisfied with a simple danish(scone like thing)?

Nothing says Spring like: get in the car, find something for real, bring it home in a small poky, sniff for five minutes to whet my appetite... and... and...

Hey nana boo-boo, nothing says Spring like a pot of pigs in chocolate pudding...

Saturday, April 27, 2013

the fruit of the tree

Busy time in my yard! The big tree is finally unfolding into such spectacular objects of desire. Who could say "no" to this really smart wooden sofa?

It's been a long time for the tree lying across my front lawn. Lots of people have hauled away load after load of logs for firewood. Many a fireplace burned this past winter with the treasure from my home. Eventually an 80 ft. long trunk was left and ... "what to do, what to do?" Answering my advertisement for "free wood," Peter the tree artist called me up! And look what he does for a living!

It will cost me if I decide to have him carve or build anything for me; such a hard decision, and who knew it would come to this? I figure at the $ rate of the pieces... I can afford a small wooden plate, maybe. Amazing, this fruit of the tree!

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

a must share

I've been pricing out solar, battery and direct current lamps for my yard. Along comes this brilliant idea. I simply have to share... a must share!

This is not my yard... not yet! These pots have been painted with brand name, "Rustoleum's glow in the dark" paint. I'm thinking that these pots must get an incredible amount of day light.

I'm thinking to use smaller pots that create a line of light next to my walkway. Or maybe some pvc pipes pushed into the ground. The plants are not a requirement.

(Oh I simply must break down and purchase a new camera. I'd love to share the fruit of my labor.(smile)) Until then... you 'all' light up my life.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Height - as in stacking up the boo-boos

Height has always been an issue for me. My fear of heights has deterred many a project from being
done. Strangely I can climb up ten feet on a ladder and be okay. Any height less than that and my legs turn to jelly, and my stomach turns. It seems so foolish, but I have learned to pay attention to all fears.

There are "heights" in my mind too. Situations come along and affect my well-being. I'm required to cross a bridge. Wait, isn't this, then, a "fear of bridges?" I thought of that and realized that the crossing was the easy part. When distracted by the height, the bridge disappears. A more serious situation requires more commitment. There has to be a way of reducing the height... a way to reduce the depth of hurt, loss, or whatever emotion I fear will result. Is that even possible? Did I explain it well enough to be understood?

In my life I think the space under the bridge, that makes up the height, is the result of my putting off the task of resolving an issue.   In other words I let things accumulate until they're harder or more challenging to resolve. So there is a away of relief.  And that's all I have to say for now.

Saturday, April 6, 2013

modern conversation

Someone is getting really certain of what she wants (I know) and doesn't want to put up with (I know) and time is moving on (I know).

You know? (I know) You know what? (Smiles and nods, knowingly).

Is is me or is it disturbing when the only answer from a friend is... I know? (I know).

Then the fabulous option of replying...  I see. (I see) (I know)

Which leads me to the all-knowing, all-seeing response: (I understand)

But lately this has been a okay. (I know)  How do you know? (I know you). Wait, that's three words in a response... wow... that makes me happy. (I see) You see? (I see you're happy) Oh, four words and I am feeling freed by your support and feedback. (I understand) I know you understand. (How do you know?) I know. I see. I finally understand.

Let's do lunch again soon. (When?) You'll know.

Friday, April 5, 2013

Dear Diary,

At some point you will realize that you have done too much for someone, that the only next possible step to do, is to stop.

Leave them alone.

Walk away.

It’s not like you’re giving up, and should not try.

It’s just that you have to draw the line of determination from desperation.

What is truly yours would eventually be yours, and what is not, no matter how hard you try, will never be.

Today is that point in time...

~and more will be revealed.

Friday, March 29, 2013

~ and so this is Easter...

I've never been able to correlate the Easter celebration with the truth of Passover. Jesus didn't celebrate Easter with his disciples. He didn't tell them to eat chocolate bunnies "in memory of me." He ate the Passover meal with his disciples. He explained the holy day's meaning and how God was fulfilling  a gift through him. When I read about Passover and looked at the life of Jesus, it all fell into place for me. My own experience has proven things to be very real. But that's me and this is my blog... and this is what I wanted to post.

Each person's experience brings them closer or takes them further from this message. So even if you don't get it today, it doesn't mean you'll never understand what I'm saying. Likewise, it doesn't mean you'll ever believe like I do. Either way, I'm not a judge; I have no expectation.

Thanks for reading ~ dc


Tuesday, March 26, 2013

time is...

A break in the clouds.
A moment to rise above the feelings.
Time is, and the roots I had are dead.

No thing prevents me.
No anchor is there to hold me down.
Time just is, and the roots I had are dead.

Moonlight to carry.
My thoughts I release, as I arise.
Time is, and just like me, shall go on.

Sunday, March 24, 2013

an impromptu post

Initially I intended to post the "pithy tidbit poster" without any further comment. With so much that appears to be traveling my path with me, maybe I could add some more juice to the dill (deal). Woe to the cheeky pickle that steals my smiles.

In this "newness" without a second income partner, life has changed up. Years past I considered myself to be quite independent. Then along comes this year. I feel anything but independent and my ego is in the way of accepting help. A recent quote awoke me: "Through our own inability to accept personal responsibilities we were actually creating our own problems." Nothing I did was fixing "dc". Nothing I did gave lasting peace.

Is that what a normal life is? Up and down, and some repairs don't work, while others barely hold? Did I need a new glue? A glue to bridge things or simply start again? A friend suggested an inventory of what works in my life and what doesn't work. Along that path I realized some things just need to be let go of... certainly more than I have ever released from inside.

Let me wake up then. Give me coffee so I can bath in it's aroma. Give me roses so I can remember lessons when I touch a thorn. Give me friends that know what the heck I'm posting. I give to you an impromptu post.

Saturday, March 23, 2013

give me a political break

Oh yes! Something a bit different for the old "dcrelief" page. Good stuff, so listen to this very short link and I'll be back.

"America is not the greatest country in the world anymore."

A dramatization here:

Okay that was easy. Did you notice the background music when it kicked in? That's a clue to be seriously pondering stuff.  I personally found the music to be distracting and unnecessary. Then again, I'm not a film director.

How about that "sorority girl" remark? In a flash the cheerleaders were prepping protest signs stating: "We are not the dumbest college generation." It gave me a real chill up the spine hearing the speaker state the responsibility of all to be informed... including partying college "kids".

For those of you who were totally bored by my need for a political break... hopefully you had a snack close by... for the rest I leave you with a photo to digest.

So what's the beef? and where?

Friday, March 22, 2013

Thursday, March 21, 2013

check ~ please

jam. box ~ check
musical cd's ~ check                  

6 a.m. breakfast ~ check
early morning snack ~ check
light lunch packed  ~ check
energy drink ~ check
zip-lock bag of ice ~ check
granny-smith apple ~ check
bottled water ~ check

plastic stakes ~ check
yellow layout cording ~ check
tape measure ~ check
small hand truck ~ check
yellow wheel barrow ~ check
127 gray curved blocks ~ check

So here you are: a look at the blocks I'm working with; how they lay and how I'll play the day.
I must be crazy, but I like the look.

eat the last apple ~ check
drink last bottled water ~ check
fall out in bed ~ check

the door is shut

Why couldn't you have treated me decently... like the human being I am? What gave you the right to overstep boundaries of politeness? "Do unto others," leaves the door wide open to give you some problems of your own. Yet, your problems are so big already you don't see the results of your behavior. As long as you're always the one in control, life is good.
And now I'm looking at losing three friends. You've maneuvered such ugliness and untruth... they are hesitant to come near because you are a stalker of innocent, kind people. You prey on the weak moments and feelings of your victim's circumstances. You call evil good, and good evil?
I'm not used to this. It's not been my place to ask people to leave me alone. How many times have I said it already? Why won't you hear me? As if you're a alien creature who does not speak the language of love. Only recently did I discover you did not know the language because you do not feel love for anyone. You call it a hindrance.
It might have been nice if I'd known your true colors before speaking kind words to you. I might have bitten my tongue. Surely I'd had the intelligence to walk away at that point. For the life of me I'll never know why I stayed so long... too long.
These eyes will not regret and shed tears. This heart will keep a steady beat that sounds in my ears... like a warning in the fog. The door is shut.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

During my absence... death stopped by... hello

It matters not ~ the attribute you leave behind. Is it something I need; something I can use; something that glorifies Creation? It matters not ~ it is enough that it remains, and makes me smile.

YOU! a role model of a tree standing tall imparting life to a young generation.
YOU! a fragile flower representing a calm nature I long to imitate.
YOU, two, made me smile ~

that tall tree

Like a tall tree standing ~ in the sun
Limbs lifted for nourishment
Tears from on high flow
New seeds sprout from down below
We give our love in fulfillment
To see our offspring standing tall ~ in the sun

buried at sea

This morning I closed my eyes imagining a scene at the beach. Flowers were floating along the foam; some caught by the undertow; some  in spaces of gentle waves; some moving outward into the large body of ocean. 

Such peacefulness... would I finally reach it? 

One by one as the flowers sank I felt sad at having to let them go. Would I swim out to re-gather them if I could? Silly me, a re-gather would bring back the sorrows with the joys. 

In my mind the flowers float on. So many flowers. So many years. So much pain. So much love. I can be as fragile as the ocean's foam, or as strong as its mightiest wave. 

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Gone one week? Feels like a month!

Like watching a backhoe digging a hole, I prepared myself to be bored by my simple no cable, no internet, no phone, life. Nothing could be further from the truth... as my days became filled with renewed interests in projects. No, I wasn't going to sit back in my yard's wheel barrow and watch nature... become one with the dirt. No sir or madam; "dcrelief" was on an adventure that proved to bring rewards of wisdom... and a new, improved brick/block wall design for my back patio area.

I stood on the patio having placed the last block... for the day. My hands with tiny cuts and scrapes begged for a new job; a vacation of sorts which did not include rough surface contact. Hmmm? Go forth and write to your blog!

"Dear Blog,
What treasures will you lead me to as I return? Even if my blog pals are gone and not to be found, I will read every post because they are loved. ~And because I've come to love them too, my desire to understand their writings is the catalyst that feeds my adventures... here and elsewhere."

PS. Do any of my pals know how to lay curved cement blocks so that they blend harmoniously?

Monday, March 11, 2013

Be back when I can

Hello and what a time I've had! If not for all of those who read, comment, or just float by... 'dcrelief' would be empty of laughter and love.

Rather than run up a big financial bill with my internet services, I have chosen to disconnect. As other things might complicate and accumulate to this make decision... it is the right decision. I don't think I ever viewed having internet as a 'luxury'. Too bad.... however, it is possible that life continues without it. :)

The length of time that I'll be away is unknown. Unfortunately my service also includes television and telephone... all will be disconnected on March 12, 2013. Short notice I agree, but my choice is made in wisdom. Owing anyone or company is not my favorite thing.

To date I must consider, first, the hospitals and doctors I owe for last year's seven hospital visits, and of course that big surgery. Seems one can ever have enough health insurance. Recent changes here have lessened the help I was receiving; deductibles and copays have increased for me.

Don't cry for me Argentina!!  It might be a couple to three months... hopefully back on here before anyone really notices. Let's pretend I'm on a "dcrelief world tour".

Simply said: Be back when I can.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

some answers are not answers at all

Some answers are not answers at all...

Pretend you did what I did. First find a roommate to supplement the household income,  thereby, supposedly, enhancing the quality of life. (Yours not theirs, per Se.) About halfway through the first month's experience things get rocky. You then choose a second roommate, hoping the budget would recoup the first roommate's financial shortfall...  and now(!) the budget and I (or you) would be smiling... again. {not}

A friend once told me... "people see my kindness as a weakness, and then take advantage of me." Yes, I do believe I have that self-same stupidity gene. Some might refer to it as being "co-dependent"... in short... if I can take care of you, then I'm a good person. Then I have extra confidence. Then I can slap myself on the back and give me  a few "attaboys". Dixie rules!

It's too long of a story to share, and much too embarrassing to think I have no "street smarts". To become long-winded, telling all, sends me into a state of tears. It's difficult for me to fathom people being so manipulative.  Having no "street smarts," or worldly savvy has become the best joke on me. (Um, people are disrespectful because they have the right to be?) Miss Manners has just killed over from shock.  (No conversation? No debate?)

A changing world... a changing country... a change in attitude that produces animal-like minds...
Can we hate something or someone enough? There plenty of room to bash people around. Plenty of room to hate. Keep going... will they change me?

When I heard myself yelling to no one there: "get out of my house!" I got worried. It takes courage to admit the weakness I feel. It takes confidence to tell another, "in spite of my kindness, which you see as weakness, get out of my house." Just you watch closely as the tears are drying up, and a monster wants to get loose.  I don't do monsters; could be a first. Then again I can retreat to my little blog where polite people visit, and feed me with the best things of life: faith, hope, and love.

"You have not because you ask not...."
Would someone send me a digital attitude reflector suit?
Some answers are not answers at all... they're just thoughts.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

a day with snow

It's been a while since I've walked through 'blog-land'. My life has been full of good things, and a couple of misadventures. All is mostly well, and I hope everyone else is having a break from issues or troubles. And don't we all need a break?!

For about a month I thought I might be in love. Yes your's truly, 'dcrelief,' looking through those pesky rose colored glasses. I had my mind's eye fixed on a large box of chocolates. Might I also receive a romantic valentine card??? Alas, the cheap trick fooled me. Anyone wanting to write me a 'poor baby' comment is most appreciated. Boo-hoo, if that makes it easier.

I'm sitting here typing whatever comes to mind. Hold on... (fight the blank)... I'm back.

Friday evening it began to snow, oh my, what a beautiful snow. Sorry houseless people but it was so lovely watching those huge flakes kick in. The photo is of the park near me, but I took it some time ago. My camera is still on the fritz. It's kinda tough because this snow was even prettier than then. According to the news we got three inches. Not bad, but the streets were clear and the meltdown began the next morning.

Is it me or does this sound a bit lacking in energy??! I loved it. Tossed out lots of seeds for the birds and they were everywhere. All colors... something I don't normally see in winter.

I'll get back to that 'cheap trick' another day... it's a story. xx

Saturday, February 2, 2013

The Luv Moth, er, month?

                                       Image by Dr. Arthur Anker

Time for the serious love month. Visions of Reese's pieces dance through my head. What the heck, leftover chocolate covered cherries from Christmas will suffice. Something that says ~ LOVE. Then again, who decided that giving chocolate means giving love?

The "Poodle Moth" inhabits Venezuela. I find it to be grotesquely beautiful. Hey, how about creating a stuffed one for the LOVE month? Really those little golden antennae are so alarmingly charming; eyelashes even Lady Gaga would be envious of. Such a face that only a mother would love... the moth, not Gaga! Yet ~ am I too old for stuffed animals and creatures? It has that "Pokemon" look.

I thought about having an affair, a wild fling, but the only place open without reservation is the Monkey cage at the zoo. There might definitely be some flinging going on... yea, sure, but is it done in LOVE? Must google wikipedia to verify.

Where are the good old days when you went to a mountain top chalet, complete with Jacuzzi, melting pot of chocolate and ripe, red strawberries?? You wined and dined and had a very good time. Lots of smooches here ~ lots of smooches there ~ before you know it ~ you drown from exhaustion?? (Remember you're spending the time in a Jacuzzi)(smile).

Alas... maybe I'll mail myself an invitation to a mountain top chalet. While I'm waiting for delivery, I'll make myself a poodle moth doll. Once I get the chalet address I'll wire flowers, chocolate, and a gift card from Victoria's secret. That's it... a healthy dose of LOVE for me.

Okay. So if you want to come along, make your own poodle moth doll; the chocolate is on me! LOL.

Monday, January 28, 2013


(Image appears to be manipulated - artist unknown.)

Once upon a time I was crossing this huge meadow and came across a cow, who spoke to me:  "Mmmooommm, what are you doing in my pasture?"

"I'm going to see the tree of wisdom."(smile)

"MmmMMmm, very well, you may cross the pasture."

La-la-la, fiddle-dee, I danced around and around and around... a strange looking tree. Looking at me, it spoke: "You are approaching the great forest. I am the tree of wisdom and yet,  I cannot ascertain 'why' you approach?"

"Oh tree of wisdom, I long to touch the sky; feel the sunlight upon my face; feel peaceful in a world of counting woes." I spread my arms wide in mimic of angelic wings.

The tree smiled: "How will you do these things? Or have you come to the tree of wisdom to assist your quest?"

"Yes, I know what to do, and yes I need your assistance." Seeing a smirk on its face I hesitated,  but then from within, arose a rush of courage.

"I would climb to the top and sit among your tallest branches. Peace would enter my heart as I bathe in the sunshine. Sunlight drawing me to a standing position where I might begin to touch the sky."

A most solemn expression it displayed and asked, "The tree of wisdom is forbidden to touch; you know this. You will surely die. How would I assist you?"

"As the sunlight draws, my arms will stretch upward, and I will to leap from your safety. Please allow your branches to embrace me. Gently, slowly, guiding me to the ground that I may die upon it; nourishing the roots of your being."

"Very well; see you on the return flight."

"What?" .....................

Wednesday, January 23, 2013


rabble           - tumultuous crowd
babble           -indistinct, meaningless words
ramble           -to walk aimlessly, digress

A life with problems and issues; who hasn't lived that yet? Who, I ask, has missed a morning waking to the sound of your brain, laughing? Knowing full well that the very moment your eyelids curl back toward you forehead... 'it's on.'  Rabble, babble, ramble, and what?

Meanwhile your innard parts are hoping something has miraculously changed while you slept. That crazy elbow you love so much is achy. Your trick knee has turned on the stage light... the show will go on.  And how in the world could you have dreamed you were sitting on a commode?

You might be in this awkward shape for a bit; good thing you set the coffee pot alarm.  You did add water, right?  Yes, of course you did... twice. This funk must stop. There will be solutions.

Casually you walk over to the double paned, double-doored, windows; a beautiful sun is rising. You can't help but throw them wide open to the world; accidentally throwing yourself through the windows. Now passing floor number 3, you realize your mistake but take a moment to wave to Mrs. Archer. She makes the best........... and you've landed.

Then again, maybe you're still dreaming. Oh look, the commode is right where you left it; ahhhh.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Bill discusses taxes

Hello, my name is Bill and I'm new at this posting stuff, however there's a message for most. Get comfy and I'll wait for your return, in say, one minute.

It's often uncomfortable discussing tax bills. I'm sent to distract most from outrageous hysterics. After all there are people waiting for your cheque/check.

Just for shoots & giggles... I'm a cockatiel, a crested Australian parrot. Someone kidnapped me and brought me here, to the land of freedom(?), but I don't pay taxes. Nope, no "Tax Bill" for me.

One of the most popular things to do is attached your bill to my cage. Every time you hear me pecking, 'tap, tap, tap,' you're reminded that the Tax bill is due.

Aw, the Mrs. is up so I'm going to fix her breakfast now. I suppose after last night she's feeling a bit taxed herself. Any way, pay those taxes so I can stop pecking on the paper bill.

Monday, January 7, 2013

dc's fireside chat

Oh, what profound thoughts can be thunk of in the presence of a glowing fireplace. I doth leap, and lop, and lope around within my brain. Each tiny blue flame exists as a reminder that life is anything but cold. Yes, the blueness of it seems cold, but just you put your hand within; $#^@!#!!q34urhhkk....(hot right?)

Glorious thoughts of a thousand sand flies storm into the face of dreaming. Like moths to a flame, they cling momentarily, go zit, zit, zit, and then no more. Good heavens I've forgotten the chocolate fondue. ~And~ I failed to close the fire screen; no sand flies tonight.  Their crunchy goodness brings childhood memories of chocolate covered ants. I simply didn't thunk this through. Ah, popcorn! Now we'll continue 'dc's fireside chat'.

Is it the comfort of the fire that provokes having a little snack. One of my favorite comfort foods is ice cream. Ice cream and a roaring fire equal, milkshake. A couple of more logs and we'll serve hot cocoa.

I must confess I never use pine logs; their sap kind of scares me. All that resin might set my fireplace on fire. It would certainly dampen the business of fireside chats; making this chat... one of one. So there's a profound thought.

There's a nice shiny glow on the walls' wood paneling. Easy to make shadow images... la, la, la,la, see the little finger point at you. It's a bird... no, it's a plane... no, it's a finger!! Wow, do profound thoughts encourage profound behavior? Thunk on that, and I'll return for another one of: 'dc's fireside chat'. (Oh, chocolate covered popcorn is outrageous. I may be sick.)

This is mostly a true story.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

My New Year's Revolution

Did I mean resolution? Revelation?  Restitution? Rasputin? Rumpelstiltskin?

No, the good ole eleventh-hour Congress has saved the Hill... Capitol Hill, that is. "Fiscal Cliff" be hanged. Let's call it a day and go out for a snowball fight. (Hey, watch that guy on the far right; I think he's packing a rock in the center.)

Then again this might be one of those "G-30" summit meetings. Give a shout out if there's someone you recognise from your hometown! (Takes an 'act' of congress to find out what those meetings are truly about.)

Thanks for reading. I had a polly-waddy political moment. It's over now. There you go!