Finding focus... reasons to continue... mid-life, but late, crisis?
Meanwhile being outside brings me some sort of fulfillment... a normal spring, again.
But wait! Let me start at the latest beginning, as I enter into:
Rant # 3,648
Wars and rumors of wars... every day. Everybody wants to rule the world. (Wasn't there a song by that title?)
Forget gold and silver... check out the price of a rump roast. A simple everyday cheap cut of beef. So I bought some ground turkey to do a hearty meatloaf. It had absolutely no flavor.
I'm thinking to give up cigarettes, though I really like to smoke. The cost doesn't bother me, but of late with all the people bumming "just one", it's become a nuisance. And heaven hold your breath should I say, "I'll sell you one for 15 cents." You'd think I was charging an arm and a leg! Only those people who know the importance of a budget understand "why" the small price.
On one hand I find myself angry about home issues; then just as quickly I am thankful to have a home at all. I entered my eighth month of an overwhelmed budget. The light is now visible and I am happy to be moving in a right direction. (In previous posts I shared the combination of occurrences that brought this about.)
I often come to my blog thinking I must only post good stuff. Nothing sad, mad, or scared, should ever be committed to the Internet world of "dcrelief". What a bunch of rubbish! If anything I want to convey the fact that I am real. I live. I cry. I laugh. I fall down and get up. What anyone thinks of me is not the issue. If someone reads this blog and determines one sentence gets them through some issue of their own... then that's important. I'd like to know about those things.
God's blessings. There is so much controversy concerning religion. Hah! There's nothing NEW under the sun. (Ecclesiastes). With a few years of peace here and there, but not necessarily everywhere at the same time... there's nothing new. As if all the arguing and debate is the point of religion. Hmm? No, nothing new there either... and ~ it is the point... keep everyone fighting. Then if our house gets hit by the storm, call it God's will. Don't call it HARRP.
The reason I live is because I have faith that the very God people would shun does indeed exist. It's taken me years and some wonderful experiences to shape that belief... and it is belief. Most of those experiences had negative results... for a while. I could no more "see" anything good to come than the next person. And don't think I've got it down pat today either. I'll always be seeking His face. End of topic.
So I am back to the start of my post. I think it must be time for a change though I have no idea what that might be. It just seems to be a waiting time. Maybe my head needs to catch up with my heart. Until then I'll keep doing the short sabbaticals in the sunlight; after all it is spring, still. The post man will be happy to note the removal of the poison ivy from the area of the mailbox! The rubbish collectors will be happy to see the neat little piles of brush by the road; job security? Last of all a Fibromyalgia fog is hopefully lifting soon. I can't wait for the poetry of my heart to return to the blog.
Thanks for visiting!
I can only see the same at the moment, tomorrow they make me redundant and I cannot find a job at the moment and things in my relationship are strained.........
ReplyDeleteHi Dixie,
ReplyDeleteTime for a change. Time to evaluate your choices and sense, feel what is right for you.
You verbalise, you are candid and may the transparency you share, be a cleansing experience.
The poetry of your heart beats strong and the words are there. Embrace them and smile.
"Everybody wants to rule the world". A song by, "Tears For Fears" and perhaps an apt name.
Keep smiling, Dixie.
Your friend,
Gary :)
Hi Fran. "Life on life's terms"... if I've heard once I've heard it a thousand times.
ReplyDeleteEven though I put my letdowns on the blog I feel freer to speak about things more beneficially. It may seem strange when I get something off my chest, I get the world off of my shoulders. Things have a way of turning around, when I least expect it. And as stated, I do have a higher power I trust. I often ask Him to "help my unbelief"... be the finisher of my faith.
If you don't mind, I'll mention your name the next time I speak with Him.
By the way, your recent painted figures reminded of the large robot in the movie, "The Day the Earth stood still." Well done.
Aw, Gary... I knew if anyone knew the song, you would! Thank you.
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to have friends that pull for you... like you're standing in my corner, Gary! I appreciate that and the lovely comment.
And wow, didn't you have one unique post this week?! Loved it.
Hi Loki. You're so right about faith keeping us strong. It's those moments when the doubt wants to shake me... I feel even worse. (Someone is working overtime on my mind and I have to rely on my heart.)
ReplyDeleteWanted to tell you that I enjoy your artistry, though I rarely know what to say. But I'll give it another try. You do some amazing work. Thanks for visiting.
"... thinking I must only post good stuff"
ReplyDeleteBut this is good stuff, because it's for real - or at least as near real as we can get.
..."time for a change" - that's very real, it's what life is, nothing stays the same - the best we can do is the best we can, and trust it's sufficient.
As my dear mum used to say: 'Give to the world the best you can and the best with come back to you.'
The poetry will return in it's own good time.
Best wishes.
The great thing about Blogging is that you can get things off your chest and put them 'out there'. It's much cheaper than a therapist and you have been given some great replies!
ReplyDeletePS: Gary is right about 'Tears For Fears'. They were an English band who had a hit on both sides of the Atlantic in 1985.
Click here for Bazza’s Blog ‘To Discover Ice’
Hi there! Just read you blog post and boy, you do have a lot of concerns but just hang on. Everything will pass and you’ll realize that you have made through ups and downs. We are born to be warriors! Yeah, I remember that song, Everybody wants to rule the world! It’s sung by Tears for Fears.
ReplyDeleteThanks for visiting me, Candice. You've left an upbeat, encouraging remark that helps more than you know. I do feel and more than that, to be a warrior.
ReplyDeleteA lot of concerns... I think better out than trapped inside. Thanks for reading and leaving the comment.