Ah, the happy days of being a shut-in; a person convalescing from an injury, surgery, or illness... home bound to my heart's content. (Oh, Dixie, please go on; we await your elaboration on this most interesting subject.) Yes, stay at home and every survey, presidential candidate, local politician, friends and even family call. They present questions, questions, and might even ask my advice... or what vice I prefer. I especially enjoy being the 'sounding board'... listening to their every problem. Hearing a voice drone on and on about something I can do nothing about... only listen.
I've made the selfish decision to not answer the phone unless I have the energy to listen. It appears to be working well for me, though I am assured by those, of the telephone world, that they simply must have my attention. Take, for instance, political calls; those lively, 'surely you have time and nothing to do,' advertisements requesting my support. "Vote for me and I'll set you free!" At the end of the call, you press #1 if you would vote for this person; press #2 if you would not. I can also press #3 to add a comment. That was fun for awhile, but it also put me on a continuous loop of getting return calls on other issues.
Here's the hardest part... those who call and want me to take responsibility for their feelings. As if somehow I were even able to do that, why would I? Encouraging/expecting me to 'choose a side' in a family disagreement. The shut-in councillor advises them to talk to each other and leave me out of it. It's been my policy to let family members take care of their own personal business, and I'd handle mine. But get 'laid up' for eight weeks and suddenly they think my policy has somehow changed?! What to do, what to do?
After getting physically and emotionally sick when hearing one particular issue, I took a step back to re-evaluate my needs. The Creator who supplies my needs is foremost in my life. It's taken a journey to get to this point but I finally 'get it'. (Dixie has had to find her voice and express her boundaries with many; this is no time to stop and leave the path I journey on.)
I could feel flattered and have an ego the size of a house, but that's simply not me. For me, true happiness and peace have nothing to do with ego. (E.G.O. meaning, 'easing God out.') My lifestyle has afforded a great many blessings. Remaining positive and maintaining real faith gives me joy. But I'm not a councillor. I'm not a teacher. I'm a person who loves freedom to believe the way I choose. I have no judgments for those who choose differently; each has their own calling.
Making myself a 'sounding board' for others is not too hard, yet at the moment I have issues I must focus on. And isn't that life; sometimes we have time and sometimes we don't? And isn't it okay to say, 'not now - I'm working on healing'? And yes, I'm a convalescing shut-in, not a councillor.
Thank you for reading.
Hi Dixie. I have long since learned never to take sides in family or friends disputes. It could bounce back and bite you on the backside!
ReplyDeleteI would hate the idea of being polled by telephone by politicians; thankfully, we don't have that in the UK. Yet.
Click here for Bazza’s Blog ‘To Discover Ice’
bazza: you're so right... and if my brother says, "Don't tell my wife," run!!! He always confesses.
ReplyDeleteIn my state when it's time to vote for President, we also have state, county, and local elections on the same day. It's not unusual to receive 4-5 calls a day, prior to voting day. Then there's the long, long standing in line time, waiting to vote. I think it's all by design so people will be discouraged to vote.
Thanks for your comment and visit!
I wouldn't like all of those political calls. This is where a caller display is useful on a phone.
ReplyDeleteTimes have changed and there are a lot of people (at least in the UK) who simply need someone to talk to. So there is probably a fine line between being helpful and listening and becoming overburdened.
Mike, you're so right... my 'new' caller ID phone is ready.
ReplyDeleteLikewise over here, people needing someone to talk to. Makes it difficult to say 'no' anytime, even now. Won't be long.
Thanks Mike!
When you can't take it any more, call we'll go shopping!
ReplyDeleteL.R.
Been there. Done that. Here's how and why I changed: http://stresstopower.com/blog/2008/04/13/what-i-learned-from-being-a-listening-post/
ReplyDeleteWe don't have call waiting but we do have an answering machine. When I start getting too many unwanted calls I use it to screen them.
Thank you, L.R., though I may have to borrow a wheelchair. Seems no matter what pain med they give me, I experience incredible physical imbalance. Combine that with Fibro and I'm walking into walls! This too shall pass :)
ReplyDeleteCheerfulmonk, I'm very grateful you shared your post of experience, strength, and hope!
ReplyDeleteI've added this, second blog of yours,to my 'read me' list. I hope others find it as helpful.
Meanwhile I'll look into a new answering machine. Thanks so much.
You are spot-on in asking the question (to which my answer is a resounding "yes"), "And isn't it okay to say, 'not now - I'm working on healing'?" To your healing!
ReplyDeleteSusan, it certainly is okay, and I have no regrets as I get stronger every day. I appreciate your validation. Thank you!
ReplyDelete