Stripping away the rose colored glasses of denial concerning my reality. Getting in touch with truth. Reaching out to others in empathy concerning their reality and their walk to truth.

Saturday, December 6, 2014

Thursday nights

image source

















Cooking for a homeless shelter has blessings and challenges. I'll be there every Thursday from now through March, when the weather warms. I always feel a strange weight on my shoulders, that first night. It gets better!

I stood there gazing up at a moon - dancing with the clouds.
The cold night air made me shake and I felt sadness.
Only ten people - ten homeless people came to eat and find warmth.
Where were the others?

They fear being trapped by some authority.
They think - maybe someone will not let them freely leave.
So many stay away and feel safer in the cold - hungry - but safe.
Why do we fear them?

I listen to their chatter - quick banter  - and then sudden silence.
They're not ignorant - not stupid - not lowlife.
The circumstances differ and yet sound the same.
Where do they find the smiles they share?

In the bathroom lounge I choke back emotion - I feel what I don't want to feel.
I might find myself one, maybe two steps away from their life - their lot.
It terrifies me until I rejoin them in the dining hall.
What gives them courage to continue?

The moon is rising higher - tears freezing on my cheek.
Snuggled up cozy they sleep more peacefully than we - if we sleep at all.
One day a week from now though next March - this is their haven of rest.
Where will they go for the rest of the weeks - of days?

As I said above, it gets better. This year Christmas day is a Thursday - we will be rocking!


Frank Sinatra - Let it snow

Mariah Carey - All I want for Christmas is you

Band Aid - 1984 - Do they know it's Christmas?

Faith Hill - Where are you Christmas? (The Grinch)

Friday, December 5, 2014

The Tangled Wing















No,
It's not a story or poem about a bird caught in a tree.
It's not a story about the wind twisting branches over and under.
It's not a story of how lovely Christmas lights look outside in the snow.
It's not a story at all.

Yes.
It's trivia time.
It's indigenous to Guatemala.
It's often called a Cashew Tree.
It's my favorite nut.

Thought you might like a break from reading that long story I posted yesterday
~and~
I'm off to decorate the fireplace mantle!

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Long ago a silent night













Little Boy Blue - The Graphics Fairy






It was Christmas time 1984 - the same year Mannheim Steamroller brought forth their version of Silent Night.

At the time I was a dispatcher with the Deputy Sheriffs who were assigned protection of the city's 134 schools. It was a quiet night until we received a call. A child was missing. The child was five years old, and no one remembered seeing him get off at his bus stop. He normally walked with his sister ad other children down the road to his home. But his sister was at home sick that day, so he would have walked the last few steps alone. But no one could remember. The parents made calls to neighbors, school officials and the police... nothing. The sun was going down.

Normally there were 40 incoming phone lines I was responsible to answer. I might have four calls on hold while coordinating the movements and locations off 28 deputy sheriffs. But that night I would have only three calls.

The first call.

Would we coordinate with the local police to search for the child? Our officers knew those 134 facilities like the backs of their hands. Everyone converged on the school in question, searching every room, every nook and cranny. Hours passed and yet not a clue.  To add to the issue the child had not worn the clothes his Mom picked out for him earlier that morning. No one knew for sure what he'd be wearing. After four hours we felt like we were wearing blindfolds in the dark. I was grateful all civilian calls were redirected to another department. The last thing you need is the general public or media calling to find out the status of the search.

The second call.

I almost let this call go through but a gut feeling said, "pick it up." It was the school's janitor. He wanted to know if it was the same child that disappeared at the first of school? What? I had no knowledge of that situation because they located him so quickly. In fact the police were never called - the search was over almost as soon as it began. But yes, it was the same child. The janitor suggested going to the child's bus and searching it. The first time the child was missing, they found him asleep on the bus - parked in her driveway! The driver used to take the bus home but mid-year changed procedures. Now she takes the bus back to the school and drives her car home.

I relayed this information out immediately. You should have heard the background cheers when the supervisor radioed back that the child had been "found." He was up on the backseat waving to the officers. Waving and Laughing. They gave him his own flashlight. Why not - there must have been almost a hundred people there with one of their own. I sat back exhausted, knowing several officers would be coming into the station. It was now a matter of returning to the usual. Several checked off for coffee breaks. I looked over at that monstosity of telephone equipment and thought, "okay - do your thing." Not a moment too soon, the phone rang.

The third call.

My Mom was on the line! Wow, I wondered if she knew I needed her at that very moment. Who doesn't want Mom when the world is upside down?

"Dixie, are you listening to any music tonight?" (There's a question. I was afraid to have anything playing in the background - which normally wouldn't have bothered me.) Her regular station was a soft sound FM station. They were playing Christmas music, and she wanted me to hear her new favorite. I know she said the name of the group, but I was blank.

"Hurry, they're starting to play the entire album. Call me back when you can.  I love you, goodnight." (She knew I had 40 incoming  - what a champ - off the phone in two seconds flat.)

There was a magnificent sound system in the building, and so I cranked it up. Yes, almost midnight and Christmas music was about to be piped everywhere, including outdoors. I sat there, listening, tears flowing, couldn't stop. The night had been too silent. Deadly silent. All the voices were at that school. Waiting is hard. Waiting to hear anything, anything at all... is hard.

So when I hear this song I think of a silent night and the love of laughter. The officers arriving at the station loved the song. I could tell it touched them as well. And as tensions really eased they began to tell me about the child's infectious laughter. And we all laughed. And I think we  all cried.

Silent Night by Mannheim Steamroller - 1984

It is 5:14 minutes long. Return to listen later if you've run out of time. Thank you.

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

sigh















There's a tree in the forest that a-lights on it's own ~
you can visit at sundown and watch them come on.

There is no music playing but the wind makes a sigh ~
and the sound from the branches - a sweet lullaby.

Oh Auntie Em - it's me again




















Short break, right? Well it was long enough for to realize I own this space. Might as well continue having fun. So I've dropped a few priorities, checked my attitude, and made some cookies - life is too short to let this space stay empty.

This is a season of perplexity sometimes. As a kid I could get into the worse battles with siblings. The threat of "Santa Claus is watching you," never phased me. For some reason, on some level,  I figured that was wrong. Why would an old man be watching me? What could I possibly do to get left off of the toy list? Then I would proceed to test the waters every other day. I had help - and two brothers.

It got so bad one year that my Mom decided she was taking a break from Christmas. What? What does that mean exactly? She wasn't going to shop, she wasn't going to bake, she wasn't going to play nice. The tree sat undecorated. The candles remained in the box. The cookie dough(!) remained in the fridge. This was serious. There had to be something we could do. She must have lost that holiday cheer. We didn't quite connect our behavior with her reaction.

I called my Aunt and had a long discussion. Took her all of ten minutes to give me the first clue. If you don't behave Santa is going to drop off sticks and charcoal, come Christmas morning. I immediately had conference with the brothers "Grimm" and we came to the conclusion that sticks and charcoal were passe.  Nevertheless it could happen, Auntie Em said so. She was never wrong.

Chores became joyous occasions(?). Dishes washed after supper and put away were greeted with happy smiles from Mom. Hmm? Maybe this would turn the tide? (What does that mean exactly?) Never mind - moving on. It took less than 24 hours and we had become completely different children. We now fussed over who would vacuum... well only for a minute... then we'd remember Auntie Em's warning: no fussing! We sweated it though. We took nothing for granted. We had respect for each then.

Time has indeed changed us so. I look for them but find sticks and charcoal.  I wonder what I did or if I did anything? But here again, there's no time to take a break. I keep moving on with what I can accomplish. I cannot make anyone like me, and at times that is a great relief. Maybe I did nothing at all... but it's convenient for others to have me think so.

Thanks Auntie Em - like you've always said: Open the door child, and let some fresh air in!

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Winter bird - Winter rest














Oh Winter bird where will you rest
The old Oak tree that was your nest
has been cut down and limbs are taken
to heat the home of those forsaken.

But there you are in wooden pail
huddled close and without fail
you will survive this snowy day
and then be on your merry way.

A field of Pines await close by
and you will soon depart and fly
to build and shield you from the rest
of Winter's time inside  your nest.

Monday, December 1, 2014

Dim All the Lights, Baby!

image source














I spent most of Sunday getting up the nerve to change out a dimmer switch in my living room. Not being an electrical sort of lady - the task appeared, well - scary, at best. But determined to have that really pretty chandelier working, pressed me forward. I hadn't had any luck conning anyone into helping me.(smile) It was do or die.

YouTube was a wealth of knowledge. In fact I was now more frightened but needed that chandelier working for the holiday season. YES, I had plans! This was going to happen. I would be dimming lights by Tuesday - uh, sure.

The chandelier is fine. The dimmer switch was broken or so I thought. Please pause and read that sentence again. On YouTube, this one video spoke of having two separate switches on two different walls. My mind suddenly came to a screeching halt. I have two switches. I have two switches!!! Is it possible that for the last three years the chandelier and the dimmer have actually been working but.... I stopped the video and rushed into the living room. Sure enough, the switch on the opposite wall was in the on position. That meant the switch I had been using to turn the chandelier on and off was not broken. I turned the dimmer switch to the right and hot dang! Lights! Hmm, dc, feeling dim?

To celebrate: Donna Summer - Dim All the Lights

How about a cute water bottle party chandelier?



Saturday, November 29, 2014

To do - maybe




















It's Saturday morning and my "to do" list is nearly complete. I've decided to decorate some for Christmas. Once the rooms are all nicely dusted, vacuumed or whatever else is needed - a new "to do" list will emerge. There might be minor changes in bows, trailing ribbons, ornaments, or design. I really never know - I let creativity take me down a path. I do know that once the front door decoration goes on - the rest falls in place. So the big question will be - what to put on the front door this year?

But wait! Maybe I'll enjoy the Thanksgiving after glow.
Maybe I'll give the sheaf of wheat on the door another day or so.
Maybe the golds and browns need more space,
before the reds and greens cover the place.

Maybe.

Friday, November 28, 2014

Let's Celebrate the Small Things for Nov. 28, 2014!














This week I'm celebrating:
1 - One of the prettiest Autumns I've ever seen in my neighborhood. (Winter is 24 days away!)
2 - Birthday boots and a sweater. (My god-daughter likes to surprise me.)
3 - A very peaceful Thanksgiving day.




















This post is part of VikLit's blog hop, Celebrate the Small Things. To be part of this blog hop, all you have to do is follow the link and put your name on the Mr.Linky list, and then be sure to post every Friday about something you're grateful  for that week.  It can be about writing or family or school or general life.  This is the funnest and easiest blog hop ever! 

For more information :


Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Wrapping up the week - cold & cold cuts

Emerson really says it best.




















Everything comfy cozy.


                                                                               
















Save some for cold cuts.












I've got just the thing for wrapping up.




















The best part?
















No airport this week! I'll see it in my dreams.













Turkey Trafficking



















Down at the factory the birds are getting laid off one by one. Ray and Charlie are concerned. If they remain employed, then more than likely they'll be some one's dinner by this time tomorrow. But neither wants to give notice and walk away. Turkey's don't make chicken feed - they make serious bucks. Their families are handsomely compensated. Much like a young girl whose family sends her off to wed a strange man - life goes on without them... without her.

Strange post I know. Sometimes my head spins  a line and off I go into a subject. Just thinking about human trafficking and the insanity of it... this thought came along... what if turkey families were aware, and were okay with sending a family member to be the main course for Thanksgiving? After a while it becomes quite natural and normal. I fear human trafficking is running the same course. People giving up a daughter or son for a better life for the family.

Suddenly it dawns on me. Turkeys are not conscious of Thanksgiving. It's just another day for Ray and Charlie. They don't even know they have names. But it's also another day for the traffickers, who know what they're doing. I suppose it would take a certain desperation for me to give up a son or daughter. I think I'll close this out and light a candle for the missing ones.

Tomorrow is Thursday Wrap up - see you then. Thank you for reading!





Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Gossip or Gobble














Thanksgiving has always been a big holiday for my family. Once my parents passed on things changed. We no longer went "home" but became separate. Three siblings going three different ways. But then two households began disagreeing on life, the universe, and everything... now I'm expected to pick a side. It's nothing new really. It's been a family tradition to disagree for decades about everything, but I've grown especially tired of it all.

I know many families that never seem to have a problem. Their holidays sound glorious and everything is perfect. So when it came time for me to decide if I wanted a perfect holiday or contention, I chose to spend the time at home. No more stressing over what everyone wants. They're certainly not going to stress over what I want,  and what I want is peacefulness. I cannot change them - yet I love each of them, no matter what.

A month ago I bought a turkey and planned to cook it while watching one of the Thanksgiving day parades. I figured by the time the parade was over the turkey would be done. Great plan! Then five days ago both parties called with an invitation. I've flipped this back and forth a thousand times, but in my heart I know staying home is the best decision for me. I haven't celebrated a single holiday with either, when there wasn't the usual gossip. I'm done.

Thursday morning I will proceed with my plans. I think the parade starts at 8:30 a.m., so the bird has to be in the oven just before then. Yep, and maybe some scrabbled egg biscuits, a little coffee, and let the show begin.

A couple of neighbors will be over later and we'll laugh over leftovers. Charles is bringing his coveted broccoli casserole and ice cream (to go with the apple pie I'm planning). Lisa is bringing potato salad and maybe some leftover mac 'n cheese. This is my family. Then - I'll probably listen to each tell the family nightmare from this year's Thanksgiving day... but at least I won't have a sad tale to add. That's peacefulness.

Your turn!
Is there a Thanksgiving celebration where you live?
If so, do you gossip or gobble around the bird? (smile).



Monday, November 24, 2014

a blustery day














It's a blustery day. The sun is playing peek-a-boo with the clouds. A little spot of grey and then, wham(!) a bright spot of yellow, and here comes the sun.

Leaves are swirling, dancing among the trees. Like a sky full of butterflies, they flit, flit, flit, then spiral to the ground, landing ever so softly.

Swaying trees, shaking their limbs toward me, how do you do? Bending low, sending forth a flurry of golden-red leaves to mix with the brown that have already jumped.

A slight chill but then a warm spot of sunshine on my shoulders. A whipping wind slips around me, then suddenly it's gone. I resist the urge to step inside and miss all the fun of this blustery day.

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Who's Rafting Now?














Long ago and far away I met a man of interest.
He introduced me to his wife, and later on his mistress.
Now I don't mind a joke or two and surely love to laugh,
But one day he was caught with me inside his private raft.

We sailed along a line of clouds and watched the birds soar by.
The sun did make it's way along, caressed by every sigh.
Until the rain came pouring down, it sending us below.
Forget the raft, forget the man, it's time for me to go.




























Saturday, November 22, 2014

Birthday cake















My favorite cake! Sunday is my birthday and I'm having my favorite cake. I hope you can tell from the photo it is German Chocolate Cake! I've included history for those who partake of trivia. But for now let's talk about this wonderful, baking-in-the-oven as I type, cake. It's chocolate and that always makes me smile. No I don't have a recipe - this is Duncan Hines ~ signature ~ moist cake. I don't have to have one made from scratch to make me smile.

Oh the aroma is wafting down the hall to my studio. In just a few short minutes I'll remove my special birthday treat to the counter to cool. I've already sampled the icing ~ no problems anticipated. My happy spatula is there by the cooling tray. Charlie the chicken timer will give a holler once it's ready. Toothpicks, oven mitts, and anything else needed is soooo ready!!












This might very well be the last year I count. (Hahaha, you say?) It's a terrific number and one I shall never regret having met. And no - I won't tell you. I was once told, "a woman who will tell you her age will tell you anything." Okay I have no idea what that means - but I'm playing it this way. Oh wait... I hear Charlie ~ right on time. Before I go the trivia is below Charlie. I'm coming Charlie!!! ~"Happy birthday dear Dixie, tomorrow-but-we-can-have- cake-today ~ happy birthday to me...."













Contrary to popular belief, German chocolate cake did not originate in Germany. Its roots can be traced back to 1852 when American Sam German developed a type of dark baking chocolate for the American Baker's Chocolate Company. The brand name of the product, Baker's German's Sweet Chocolate, was named in honor of him.

On June 3, 1957, a recipe for "German's Chocolate Cake" appeared as the "Recipe of the Day" in the Dallas Morning Star.[2] It was created by Mrs. George Clay, a homemaker from 3831 Academy Drive, Dallas, Texas.[2] This recipe used the baking chocolate introduced 105 years prior and became quite popular. General Foods, which owned the Baker's brand at the time, took notice and distributed the cake recipe to other newspapers in the country. Sales of Baker's Chocolate are said to have increased by as much as 73% and the cake would become a national staple. The possessive form (German's) was dropped in subsequent publications, forming the "German Chocolate Cake" identity we know today and giving the false impression of a German origin.[3][4][5]

The recipe still remains popular to this day and has been adopted by baking companies. June 11 is National German Chocolate Cake Day in America.[6] Wikipedia.

YUM!

Friday, November 21, 2014

Celebrate the Small Things - Warmth

Image source















This week I'm celebrating warmth.

1- Warmth - the kind I feel when fellow writers-boggers, crafters-artists, music-movie-buffs, d-i-y-ers, or foodies, come to visit and also choose to leave a comment. They don't have to but isn't it nice when they take a moment to do so? We all know that comments are optional.

2- Warmth - the kind I need in this season of cold weather. I flip a switch and the heat is on. Some are so less     fortunate. Our utility company has a program where I can "share the warmth."

3- Warmth - the kind I admire from people I meet at the stores and shops I visit. That cashier may be having a lousy day. Maybe the man at the dry cleaners just lost a son to cancer. A smile can be the beginning of warmth shared between two people. I'm glad I have the ability to return their smile. :)




















This post is part of VikLit's blog hop, Celebrate the Small Things. To be part of this blog hop, all you have to do is follow the link and put your name on the Mr.Linky list, and then be sure to post every Friday about something you're grateful  for that week.  It can be about writing or family or school or general life.  This is the funnest and easiest blog hop ever! 



Linky List (switch over to HTML, insert link at bottom of post. Switch back to compose.)

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Wrapping up the week - in 8 seconds!


Hang in there Teddy! We could very well win the 'Oscar of Colds' competition. Indeed! Should the International Press call we'll be here,  all wrapped up! No airport visit again, due to the ongoing cold... the sniffling kind. Going to the airport could be disastrous. Imagine a sneeze while being all wrapped up.



Last night Teddy and I stood out in the driveway watching two huge birds fly over the house. Yes, we are on one of the four flight paths that cross the city. Though we're some distance from the city's uptown area, we do get great views of the large metal beasts. These two birds particularly stood out as they were military planes - those rather plain, olive green colored ones? Even in the night sky we knew they were not commercial in nature. 

It was a frightening site! The two planes were at the same height, approximately 8 seconds apart! That means one is going to land and get the heck out of the way, so the second one can do the same. (What a night to miss being at the airport's public lookout!) Normally the timing between planes is 14 seconds. We can actually stand in the driveway and count off the time (between the planes) like an exact science... it's always 14 seconds between their landings. I can usually see the headlamps of one plane coming over my big field beside the house, while off in the distance I can see another plane coming into view. Not so with the military. They are always a tight knit group - whether two or eight planes - they are lined up across the sky. But I have never seen them so closely timed as last night... 8 seconds! By the way at my house they're less than 1000 feet over my head. 

Teddy and I are all wrapped up with no place to go. Might as well listen to some tunes. 

Olly Murs - All Wrapped Up

Frank Sinatra -Wrap Your Troubles in Dreams

Brad Paisley - Wrapped Around

Teddy's extra credit!
Garth Brooks on the Ellen Show!














See you on Friday for Celebrate the Small Things!!

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Indulgence

Acrylic painting is something I really enjoy. Needing to distract myself from feeling under the weather, I chose to share one of my passions with you. For those who are professionals, please don't look too hard - I'm such an amateur. For those who would sing praises - welcome to my indulgence!

This first painting is done on a ten inch wooden sled. The top and bottom runners are not visible because I cut them off when photographing it. (I didn't say I was a photographer.) The friend who wanted this furnished a photo and the tiny sled. She changes up the whole house for the holidays and wanted something to fit in a very small space. This fit the bill. That's the sun behind a snowy cloud filled sky. Her focus was the big tree - and this is the result, named, "A Snowy Day."

























The second painting is of a mountain ridge in Alaska. Here again, a friend sent a photo of the state she was born and raised in, and wanted a painting of a favorite location. It's painted on a 6" x 8" canvas. She displays it on a wooden easel in her entertainment center. It looks so cold. If I recall correctly, the place is called Lake Lorraine. I named it "Tranquility in Alaska."



















The third and last painting is done on a 16" x 20" canvas. Aptly named, "The Pink Forest, " as that's what my nieces said when they drug me out of bed at the crack of dawn. "Aunt Dixie, you have to come see the pink forest!" They didn't tell me I'd have to climb up the side of a mountain to see it, but I did. I had pencil and a tiny drawing pad and sketched by "snow light." The colors were later guessed at because the mind does not register them permanently. But the girls agreed it was very close - good enough for me.




















Well I thank for allowing me to indulge myself and share one of the best things I do. Indulging myself - not the painting - hahaha. So it's back to bed for me. Have a great day!

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Her Thorn




















It pricked her hand and then she bled
This sullen rose she’d always fed.
No blossoms here in two long years
With only thorns to prompt her tears.

She’d cut it down if she were mad
To stop the times it made her sad.
Yet purposely it served her well
And helped her find a voice to yell.

Then tears did fall and cleansed her thought
Relieving her of what life wrought.
Into a tiny handkerchief
She breathed the air and felt relief.


Monday, November 17, 2014

Her Rose














She walked her dream and looked around
At smallest flowers on the ground
The yellow bees were buzzing by
She spied a rose, and heard it sigh

The tiny drops of dew were clear
And playfully as she came near
The thorns did glistened but obeyed
The hand that once had held the spade

The hand that held a knife to prune
A blossom tender for her room
Did cut the rose, a fragrant scent
She’d not return ‘til this one spent