Stripping away the rose colored glasses of denial concerning my reality. Getting in touch with truth. Reaching out to others in empathy concerning their reality and their walk to truth.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

navigating destiny

I made a wrong decision just like the pilot in the airplane. Veer right, did he say veer right? At what point did he say, veer right? Where was I? Veering left? Was I veering left? No?

In the blog world, (for me at least), there’s the chance that I may not understand what you’re “saying” to me. I don’t know if it’s my ears or the words or the long sentence, but I suspect I read so fast I just miss the whole point… sometimes. No!

In the blog world it could be you and you’re not getting the fact that I’m “really a slow thinker” and just because I can write a lot in a short amount of time, you think I’m smart. No?

Mentally my giant brain has been bashed a few too many times and I’ve lost the best part of me that ever composed a word. Arrogant, yes, and I’m sorry I ever took that path, and maybe “bad Karma” paid me a few visits and said, “Look there’s other stuff you need more than composition and oh, yeah, we’ve got “spell check” now!! So wham, wham, wham, and now you need to “remember how to speak” so that one day you’ll write something that sounds “like you just said it out loud” for everyone to hear. What was so important that I had to experience such trauma to tell you?

In this blog world post, the answer is “stop”.

Well, fine and dandy, but what was the question? We need the question. Do you have it? Where did you put it this time? If I turn right will I find it; if I turn left is it hiding there? Well? No? I give up.

There, perfect; and now that you have “given up” the question truly reveals the answer to be true! The pilot above could have stopped. He could have applied the brakes on the big bad boy and stopped, but he didn’t. He kept thinking that there was a last point where he could turn off and avoid the highway. It was such a big plane that the pilot couldn’t see where the turn off WAS; he had already missed it by the time he asked the tower. VEER WHERE?

My life is like that some days. I hit the wall of mental anxiety without a thought of asking: “Is there a veering off point? Or is there a stopping point?” Read that again.

A friend of mine used to say, “DC, you don’t have to continually hit the wall. As soon as you know you’re headed for a wall, STOP, or turn right, or turn left. STOP! Don’t keep hitting the wall.”

I still struggle but each event brings more challenge to the “wall theory” and STOP HITTING THE WALL has had advantages. Veering right or left can work well too but sometimes it just puts off a decision that I know will eventually end with “STOP.”

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