Stripping away the rose colored glasses of denial concerning my reality. Getting in touch with truth. Reaching out to others in empathy concerning their reality and their walk to truth.

Friday, August 26, 2016

Balancing act ~ number one priority!

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"Balance is something I can only glimpse, as I go from one extreme to another." (Quote: my brother, Ben.)

Quite the profound statement! In 1988, when my brother said this in a  recovery meeting for addicts, I almost dismissed it. Still it stuck in my head, circling for many months until a year later I joined  him in attending meetings. At the first of September, Ben celebrates 28 years free from drug addiction. On October 4th, I'll celebrate 27 years! He has been a great support in my recovery.

Ironically, he's been living with me for the month of August, while his new apartment is completed. It has been pleasant to have him here. I almost hate to see him go, but he's not a kid... he must have his own space... and me too. Living alone for five years has had its pros and cons, but I love the peace and quiet.

He gets "home" every day and then walks 4 miles. Ben knows I'm in physical therapy and again, his support has been appreciated. He has no judgment of the simplicity off my assigned exercises. As he said last week, "You've got to start somewhere and gradually increase as time passes. (It has taken me a year to work up to 4 miles.) Take your time. You'll get there, Dixie."

I know he is right. He and his wife have decided to divorce. I have hesitated to even mention what I'm experiencing, but I know he must "see" some of the physical struggle that daily life is for me... right now. And that brings me to the positive side... he knows I'll work hard to regain the "me" that I was... not so long ago. The divorce is upsetting to me... I cannot choose sides, as I love them both. So I try to avoid dwelling on it, moving on with my own battle. No, I can't help but get a little teary-eyed thinking about them.... but for now, I'm on a journey that needs my full focus.

So where am I now? After 5 therapy sessions I know how bad my situation is. Balance is the one thing we all need. It helps us walk and do tasks, ranging from the simplest to the hardest. It is also something that I'm having to regain... a slow battle. I have two therapists. One is helping me regain strength in my left leg and arm. The other is working on my balance issue... but actually the two must go hand in hand.

I've chosen to do my exercises 4 times daily, though it's not required by my therapists. Still it speeds the process and that makes me happy... I have a sense of accomplishment. and isn't that important? I get tired, and rest between the toughest exercises. There are six  exercise treatments this week, two more than last week! Hopefully before the end of August, I'll be able to walk in the yard alone. I have to be able to keep my balance on level ground first. I'm grateful to have a large patio! My yard is not level, so it's a "no man's land" for now. :(

So to close this, I refer back to brother Ben's quote... "Balance is something I can only glimpse, as I go from one extreme to another."

I hope your frustrations are few or at the very least, manageable. I hope you have balance, be it in your mental, physical,  emotional, or spiritual realms! Know that I miss you, and pray for my blog friends every day (smile).

Love, Dixie


  1. You're facing your challenges so bravely, and I admire your determination. Therapy is a long road, but so is recover from addiction and you've done so swell with that! Wishing you balance (physical and mental) and thanks for stopping by my blog - I really appreciate it!

    1. Thank you, Lexa. I so miss, Celebrate the small things blog-hop. Oh yes, your turtles were so cute!

  2. Dixie Darlin', I'm so happy to see you. I know it's a struggle and I continue to pray for you. I'm glad you posted. Good for you for doing extra exercises.


    1. Thank you for the prayers and good wishes, Janie. Sending love your way (smile).

  3. That is just what you have to do, start. Then it builds from there. I had crappy balance with my nerve junk, but forced my body to wise up day by day. Takes time, but you do get there.

    1. Pat, I really had no idea how crazy my body had become. It's quite a challenge but as you say... start and then it builds from there. So true.

      I hope your bay is peaceful.

  4. So glad to hear you have your brother there to help you, Dixie! And so nice to hear you haven't lost will and strength to regain what you'd lost!

    1. Dezz, I was reading your comment exchange with Blue, on his post. Seems we all have struggles that keep our focus... and challenge our attitude. Thank you for caring.

    2. we're all sick as hell :) Sometimes methinks that is a requirement to be a blogger :)

    3. You could be right, Dezz, my friend.

    4. Hope you are getting better, dear, is it more difficult now with the winter approaching? Do you have someone to deal with the winter business around the house?

    5. Yes I do, Dez. Thank you for your concern, dear heart.

  5. Lovely to see you Dixie, a wonderful uplifting post.
    Take care and good luck to you.
    Enjoy the week-end.

    1. Hi Yvonne! the weekend ws a bust. A stomach issue kept me down. Today is so much better, thank you.

  6. That's great your brother has been there to help and support you. God had a hand in the timing for sure. Just keep doing those exercises and soon balance will not be so fleeting.

    1. Fleeting... good choice of word! I agree with God having a hand in the timing. Funny, but Ben thinks I helped him more, (smile).

  7. You can do it, Dixie! Best wishes to all of you.

    1. Love your support, Debra. You had a funny post today, although a very serious issue.

  8. It sounds like your brother is a bit of a philosopher! It good to have someone like that in your life.
    "The key to keeping your balance is knowing when you've lost it".
    CLICK HERE for Bazza’s fabulous Blog ‘To Discover Ice’

    1. Oh wow, Bazza! "The key to keeping your balance is knowing when you've lost it".

      Ain't that the truth. It didn't dawn on me for many months how extreme it is... but I'm working on it.

  9. When I first started to lean t'ai chi, a woman came to the class suffering Menières disease and couldn't walk anywhere without hanging on to a chair or something. Within a few weeks of starting to learn t'ai chi she could maintain her balance well and by the end did not require to hold on to anything. Personally I had a habit of throwing myself on the ground, tripping over my own shadow. In recent years I have only fallen once, tripping over a chair, in the dark. in the middle of the night. So basically, what I am saying, t'ai chi is marvellous for improving balance. I highly recommend it Dixie.

    1. Thanks Jo. I'll see if the therapist can recommend a teacher.

  10. Hey Dixie,
    Hello from an old friend. I hope you improve and get well.
    "It gets easier. Everyday, it gets easier. But you gotta do it everyday.That's the hard part. But it does get easier" --Bojack Horseman,

    1. Wow! Long time, and I hope you are well too. That video says it all for me. Everyday... sure enough! Thank you for this little 'gift'.

      Desperado, I've missed your writings... great to hear from you. Sending smiles across the miles.


  11. Is it permissible to give you a virtual hug?

  12. I have struggled a lot to balance my work along with family. All were helpful to me to lead a happy family:)

    1. Jeno, thank you for visiting. I took a peek at your website. Lots o good information there.

      Balancing work and family is tough... I call you a "Domestic Engineer."

  13. What a great quote. I love it.

    Prayers. I hope you're doing better than when you posted this- that each and every day was a bit of progress.

    Hugs, Dixie!!

  14. Thanks for sharing that, Dixie. 27 years... that's quite a feat. Yes, without balance, we are pretty much lost. You're talking to someone who knows. Anyway, this is not about me. So your brother's getting a divorce and you love them both. Well, the best thing you can do is tell them you intend to keep seeing her too. No need to choose sides in this case.

    Hey, you hang in there. I suddenly remembered that you had this blog as well, so I just added it to my list.


  15. Was thinking about you, decided to drop by...
    Hope you are progressing...
    Take care...hugs to you...
    Linda :o)

  16. Dixie, how wonderful to see your awe inspiring post.
    Your problems make mine look minute and there you are so positive. I have epilepsy , have done for 33 yrs but also family problems. But with a determination such as yours I'm sure I will overcome both.
    Good luck to my friend.

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