I am Professor X

It was cold... a rainy night... the wind was howling... I couldn't sleep. (Wait, the wind was not howling... you're exaggerating.) Right, but I couldn't sleep and that's the important part. Continuing, I tiptoed onto Facebook, that monstrosity of pithiness, to find this awaiting challenge. "Which Super Mutant are you?" It was something I'd never thought about... and yet. It was cold, rainy, the wind was howling, and I couldn't sleep. I felt up for the challenge and answered the however-many, all-important questions to determine my Mutant personality. (Actually, I couldn't remember who or what the mutants were. That of itself was a great rediscovery.)

YOU ARE PROFESSOR X 

"You’re a lover, not a fighter, although you could kick someone’s ass if you wanted to. You believe that true strength comes from being able to get stuff done without being a bully. Besides, you get more satisfaction from outsmarting someone than you do from inflicting pain on them, because anyone could do that. You’re better than that."

I am? (You are?) How wonderful! I was delighted! But just who was/is Professor X? When in doubt trust Wikipedia: 

"Charles Xavier (also known as Professor X) is a member of a fictional sub-species of humanity known as mutants, who are born with superhuman abilities. He is a powerful telepath who can read and control minds. He is the founder of the X-Men and runs a private school that shelters and trains mutants. He fights for peace and equality between humans and mutants in a world where anti-mutant bigotry is widespread."

Oh my goodness - that explains so much. I'm probably busy reading and controlling minds. I'm not sure I have time to run a school, and when do I do it? Seems I'm very busy without even being aware of it. No wonder I can't sleep. I'm Professor X. Oh the pain of of finding this out! Why didn't someone tell me. Better yet, if I read minds, why didn't someone think about it? I might have had a clue. I wouldn't be sitting on Facebook, cup of cocoa in hand, wanting to find the sheep department. I needed to sleep now more than ever. I was tired. No wonder - I was Professor X.

I breathed a huge sigh of relief - as only dcrelief can - closed down my Facebook page - leaned back in my office chair. Aw, how wonderful... in another time and place, I'm Professor X. The world is safe when I'm around. That must mean there are extra funds. Funds? I do get paid for this gig, right? (Only in your dreams.)

My blankie felt so good. A small glow in the fireplace. Cocoa gone? (Cocoa gone.) I settled into a rhythm of peaceful breathing... Professor X... who knew?