Stripping away the rose colored glasses of denial concerning my reality. Getting in touch with truth. Reaching out to others in empathy concerning their reality and their walk to truth.

Thursday, February 2, 2012


I am lost in the woods of my mind. Behind every tree is a word but it comes not to my lips when I need it. Testing, testing; please remain seated and calm. Think about one topic so we can measure the speed at which you think. Hold for the big snap and 'kerplunk', the machine has a perfect image of your interior brain mass.

Miss, we have a issue or two we need to discuss with you. Yes, today would be a nice day to sit outside, but we need to make you aware.... oh okay, then we'll go outside and discuss things.

Now about those issues... what, oh, you're hungry? Yes I suppose a snack is in order after six hours. Let's see: a small soda, captain wafers, and a granny smith apple... thank you nurse.

It appears you are scattered. Your brain overloads from the Fibromyalgia symptoms. That begins a period of insomnia which excelerates the lost of cognitive abilities... ha ha ha, yes, down the rabbit hole is pretty accurate!

Okay Miss, do you have any questions for the medical team? Uh, I believe the Superbowl is Sunday. Yes, I saw the movie, "Moneyball," excellent humor. Another grannie smith? Sure.

Oh nurse, we'd like two more apples please... yes, my patient says there are more in the woods. [???]


  1. Dear Dixie,
    A most interesting insight into your "fibro fog", as you have often called it.
    I do hope, though, that things are OK and you are not too unwell. I don't know much about fibromyalgia (probably haven't even spelt it correctly) but hope that it doesn't affect you too seriously. Of course, I often write about my own diagnosis, so it is good to learn a little more about yours.
    Again, just hoping things are OK with you.
    Very Best Wishes,

  2. Hi Dixie. I had to look stuff up to try to understand this post! (Fibromyalgia, Moneyball, captain(s) wafers).
    You seem to be eloquently describing some debilitating symptoms and although I can't empathise I can and do sympathise.
    We haven't had Moneyball in the UK yet but we might not get it as the subject is baseball (we did get Field of Dreams though).
    I am sure we don't have Captain's Wafers either but do have plenty of similar crackers.
    Click here for Bazza’s Blog ‘To Discover Ice’

  3. Thank you, David, for your good thoughts!! It is a strange event I go through without a clue to when one will appear. But I'm getting better at recognizing the entrance and the exit, as they are the same path.

    I go into a dark cave with my back facing the light at the entrance. My first reaction is to turn around and run outside of the cave. Unfortunately when I do that I become blinded by the light and it throws me off balance. Then I return ti the dark, some some sense of comfort.

    The entrance side calling to me while the cave just whispers. The chemical exchange in my brain is confused; I become dazed, as in a fog.

    Slowly I begin a slow movement to turn sideways in the doorway. There's a mixture of light and dark as my brain starts to function more normally. Eventually I return to the light and become comfortable.

    The rest is history and soon, another blog will appear!!

    Thanks my friend,

  4. Yes, Bazza, it might seem like one of those 'educational blogs'(smile), but I assure you, I'd rather do the circus... and not BE the circus!

    My brain becomes like a watercolour painting where someone has loaded too much water... the ripples arise taking the linear from my sight. But my brain compensates and calls the ripples, waves!!

    Thank you so much,

  5. I haven't seen Moneyball (with Robert Redford) but I do know what fibromyalgia is, mostly because my friend's younger brother has it. I feel for you, Dixie. It sounds as though you kind of enter a darkish/foggyish type of Alice in Wonderland world while you're in the throes of it. I'm sorry to hear that. I wish you well.

  6. Thanks Kelly! Humor and anger pull me out of most any fog situation. Since anger rebounds into hyper adrenaline issues, I opt for humor.
    Oh yes, me and little Alice have lots in common! Good one, Kelly. I wish you good things.


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