I am so different from the person I was, this time, last year. No longer do I receive comfort from whining about my losses. Even my own voice can grate my nerves; so I’ve stopped abusing me.
There’s an expression: “I’d give my right arm to have that.” Well, that’s not me; certainly not my mentality. Though I’ve often hoped for answers and solutions to problems, I’m more willing to exercise patience.
It seems important to people, to have dreams and goals to reach for. I like that, and yet this year has brought me great wisdom in choosing what is really culpable. In short, what makes sense for my life? How responsible must I be to plan a dream? In following “The Plan” I wrote about some months ago, I have moved forward in small steps.
The photo above has my story encapsulated. Within it I see my past, present, and future. A young lovely woman, cut down in her prime, seeks a goal to fill her life. One less wing (metaphorically), I travel on disabled, but try not to let it get me down. Indeed the opposite is beginning to happen. Not the hopeless kind of hope, or the helpless kind of help; I have so many people, places, and things to explore.
Have you ever heard the choir of heaven? At least that’s what I called the sound, I heard one day, from the sky. Thousands and thousands of voices and one note. I truly do not know how to describe it, and some of you reading would never believe me any way. My life is changing and it’s that sound I want returned.
That’s all; thanks for reading.
Dear Dixie,
ReplyDeleteSo glad that you are feeling well and contented and I wish that I could hear that choir!
Wishing you wellness and peace,
David.
:) :) :) :)
ReplyDeleteDear Dixie,
ReplyDeleteAnd, I know, 'your plan', grows in strength. Each tender step brings you that much closer to your beautiful realisation.
That choir rejoices in your resilient progress.
Thank you for sharing. I love the photo. With great respect and kindness, Gary x
Bravo, my dear!! Bravo! I too have heard that choir and it doesn't matter if they don't believe you. It's a personal journey after all, isn't it? Thanks Dixie, I was entertained and educated as well.
ReplyDeleteOne wing used means that you'll keep in the same circle. But in using your feet to feel your way toward that future means that you'll ALWAYS know the weight of your progress and movements.
ReplyDeleteOM
Hi David,
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading this.
I shall hope that you hear that choir too. Nothing prepared me for the sheer richness of strength it's sound gave to me.
Peacefulnes to you,
Dixie
Paige, Your "four smile" is a record for me! Thank you.
ReplyDeleteDear Gary,
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your empathy. It really has taken me a large boost of resilience to get this far. Friends like you have given of your time to help me find my voice; my wing with which to expedite needed courage.
Yes the photo! How great is that? The transparency translates well. Not just my love for the beach, but a great longing to be seaside and hear the voice of the ocean. How frightful at times, yet calming, peaceful at other times. Then my love for the arts. No matter which sense is tagged, I feel within a rush to joy; a need to know myself through the sound of life.
Thank you. In peacefulness,
Dixie
Hi Heather,
ReplyDeleteI am very grateful you mentioned hearing the choir too. A most awesome thing.
Oh yes, to the personal journey, but let's not give them any ideas that I might possibly entertian and educate too. Then I might have to write more often. (smile).
Peacefulness to you,
Dixie
omegetymon,
ReplyDeleteOh yes, but that's another blog. I'm taking everything in small steps; I "wing" best in that manner.
Very good to hear from you.
In peacefulness, Dixie
OM
Dixie, I love the picture. I find it symbolic on many different levels. I hope you continue to evolve both spiritually and mentally. May you always shine, dear friend.(smile)
ReplyDeleteBlessings to you,
Mattie
Hi Mattie,
ReplyDeleteI'm still tickled from the photo at your site; what a treasure!
I've borrowed your (smile) and hope you don't (mind); it's helped me to (love) and helped to (shine)!
Peace and blessings,
Dixie
Dixie, my smiles are freely given, you can have as many as you'd like!(smile) Borrow away! It pleases me greatly, my friend. May you always shine...
ReplyDeleteMuch love to you,
Mattie
Hi Mattie,
ReplyDeleteYou are too generous. I would be most happy to borrow away, sharing freely. Nothing would please me more than giving in your honor and spirit of love.(big smile)
Much love and appreciation to you,
Dixie