Stripping away the rose colored glasses of denial concerning my reality. Getting in touch with truth. Reaching out to others in empathy concerning their reality and their walk to truth.

Friday, August 21, 2009

When someone is phoning you every day, demanding explanations for every little thing she ever took wrong; what do you? How do you gently explain that life has been a hard struggle? Maybe there have been things you said, but why wait until now to deal with it?

I’m guessing a cloud has lifted from her mind. I’m guessing that she needs closure.

Yesterday’s call of tears, with more confrontations, has driven me into a slight depression. If everyone feels that I’ve wronged them in some way, how can I remedy their inquiries, if I have no knowledge? Waiting four years is just a bit unfair.

So I blog my heart and soul, and let the crap go. If the phone rings tonight, I’m going to tell her to stop keeping score. I’m going to tell her that I’ve moved on. Depression is not a state I want to be in. I enjoy being positive and am willing to start anew with her. If that doesn’t work… then I’m moving on without her. No more keeping score!


  1. Hi Dixie,

    This is one of the most difficult situations a person can be in. Some people cannot understand how much damage they do to both others and themselves with score keeping.

    The baggage that is being piled on does not belong to you and it is wise to set boundaries to what you are willing to accept. Many people need to drag you down into the depths of their pain as a way to temporarily ease their suffering. The problem is that as it continues, so does their suffering and the suffering they inflict on you.

    I hope your friend can find closure but it is not up to you make it happen. It is important to remember that you can only help someone who is willing to be helped. All you can do is tell her you are sorry she suffers but she can no longer place that suffering on you. The outcome will be up to her.

    You are a positive force in this world and deserving of all the happiness life has to offer.

    Tomorrow is another day and may it be filled with all the joy and wonder you deserve.


    "Forgiveness is giving up all hope for a better past".

  2. Hi Roger,

    I have had the habit of trying to 'fix' people. This new situation made me aware of how much I've changed. I'm okay with the 'new' attitude.

    I am grateful for your response. You have always been a positive force to me.

    You offer me things to think about; things to help me develope further. Thank you for taking time out to share your thoughts.

    Wishing you peace,

  3. Dear Dixie,
    I cannot add much more to what Roger has so eloquently stated.
    You, being of good nature, can become an emotional 'sponge' for someone else's perceptions.
    You, as I know you realise, cannot 'fix' other people. The true answer lies within them. They are the experts on their thoughts and feelings.
    I send you peaceful thoughts, Gary.

  4. Dear Gary,

    It so caught me off guard. I wanted so much to renew our connection. At first I thought to be a willing party for her closure. As you've said, ["They are the experts on their thoughts and feelings."]

    The phone will ring again, as I suspect she's not done. However I have the good response from you, and Roger, to keep me focused on my life.

    I do need to work on that 'sponge' thing I do; you're so right about that.

    Thank you for leaving information that offers me relief. I send you positive blessings for your day.

    Peaceful wishes,


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