the waiting stage

I'm a bit lost because of changes in my life and developing an illness. I can tell you about the changes, but the illness still awaits diagnosis.



Right now I'm taking a pain medication that practically knocks me out. This makes it difficult to blog, as I'm groggy, sometimes not even seeing the typing in front of me. Without the pain med. I would not be able to sit up.



Earlier I tried to type but fell asleep in the middle of it. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!



My family has a history of kidney failures, and cancer of the stomach, gal bladder, and pancreas; I'm a little scared. I wish I had more to write about but that's it for now. I'm in the "waiting" stage.


Changes: through a zimbio portal I met a man whom I shared interests with. He had another site of his own and I became a guest author. This carries a lot of responsibility... blogging on someone else site. I thought I did okay.


Next thing you know he gives me my own blog, and it proves to be a bit intimidating. Not to insult blogger, but this blog site is just more than I could imgine; yet here I am typing out my stuff on blogger because I feel safer. Does that make any sense to anyone? Can anyone explain why I feel this way? Alas with the change I'm in the "waiting" stage to see what I'll do.


It's as if only the "perfect" blogging stories or articles should go in the new site; meanwhile the lesser items can remain in blogger. Maybe this is all about having confidence in order to proceed. I'm waiting.