Grandfather's Song

There’s a tree with secret nook
Near the river where we fished
He would bait my every hook
As I played about and wished
That someday I’d know the song
He would sing to everything
That would let me play along
In the early part of spring



“Happy birthday Grandfather”
1905-1981

Morning Forest

On mountain green we watched the light
The sun arose with awesome flight
Across the snow, rays fell in lines
Creating trees that looked divine.

The sky was red, then turned to pinks
The fog did flirt with several winks
A line of green did peek and leave
A sight so rare I now believe

The bitter cold against my face
I longed returned to warmer place
I sketched the sky and then the sun
Included trees and I was done

Back in the home I brought my paint
Each element a sacred saint
When I was done the painting showed
An early sun and beauty glowed

Laugh it up

"Laugh Therapy," pioneered by Norman Cousins, has turned out to have real substance. Research has discovered that laughter and joy boost immune functions, especially the production of the natural killer cells that help defend the body from illness and cancer.

Laughter also increases the release of endorphins - compounds that give you a sense of well-being - in your brain. Without a doubt, joyful people live longer and have healthier lives; so read your favorite comics, watch your favorite comedies, and laugh it up!

Added 8-13-09:

The "Can Monster" was made by a guy who lives in my home town. He says he hates all the cans that are constantly in place here. As a joke he wielded together this creature and put him by the road.

The can producing company asked if they could buy it from him. He agreed and they filled the can-man with concrete and he now sits out front of their office!!!

31 lines

It was just another day in paradise
Took a walk through ‘Face book’
My latest hangout for distraction
Spoke to a friend about insecurities
His/mine, what difference - none
Sent ruby red hearts and lots of flowers
Karma called and I went off to find
A gift for “G”… my 6:15am karma
Over to my little farm in the Ville
Where someone had sent me sheep
Big puffy balls of wool when they’re ready
Read this link, add this site
Leave the town, but send a round
Doing lunch away from here

Lunch break found me at the local
Home-made burger stand near my home
A friendly outing with a friendly friend

Back to paradise I go to see
Who’s playing videos?
Tori sings, Bon Jovi in jeans
Then it’s time for opinions
Do we, don’t you, can we, have you?
Butterflies on gossamer wings
Happy hugs and best friends ever
Read this note or make your own
Chocolate trips, green patch kids
The second Farm is bigger
Save some time to inbox mail
Write on walls, smiles to all
Off to watch my TV shows
Then Yahoo needs attention

Interacting

I never know when someone’s mood will affect me. In the blink of an eye I can join their… sorrow, their pain, their madness, their anger… to my own day. Not only can I join it, but seem to gladly promote it. Then I realize that the person doesn’t need me to be in the same mood. I need to be supportive, encouraging another, to a better moment.

Today I was just a “joiner”. I could not let my own feelings get out of the way! Being human doesn’t always make me smile…and I sure can make mistakes.

I’m blogging what ails me and moving on. It’s called interacting. Woo-hoo.

Wow! Blogger Awards.

As gifted to me (June 30, 2009) from “Hazelm: Mattie’s Journal,” I would like to pass on the following blog awards. This was a very difficult decision for me. I love all of the blogs and their writers!

***



The 2009 Friendly Blogger Award goes to:

“…” Me, Myself, and I
A Day in the Life: Dave’s Progress
A Jewel Shining Through
De Pressing Thoughts; DESPERADO
The World N Me; Jun Bullan
Julie & Paige’s Caribbean Midrine
Klahanie; Gary Philip Pennick
The Curious Hazards of Being Human: Clarissa Alverson

***



The Uplifting Blogger Award goes to everyone!

I give this award to all of the followers in the widget, and the writers in my blog list. Each of you has added a degree of hope and comfort to my life. I am blessed with your shared words.

***


~

One Lovely Blog Award goes to:

The World N Me; Jun Bullan
No Such Thing as Disabilities (Soundoff); HeatherP.
Journeys in an Alien World; David S.
Klahanie; Gary Philip Pennick
Step by Step: rusty 443
buddhawithin; The Cap

***

we are the way we are

Nothing I do is going to change anyone in my life. Oh, there might be a comforting word, but unless someone wants to change, it will not happen as a result of my prompting, prodding, or pushing. I’m just surprised to figure it out once again. Often I forget what it is that makes me happiest. I am happiest being me and free; allowing others the same life.

We are the way we are; we look to our innermost thoughts. We learn and grow when we recognize the goodness of the universe in our inner sanctum. When we have finalized our own joy, we can move and share with others. Until then, we are the way we are… until, we are the way we are again.

thank you

I would like to thank Zimbio for displaying my blog in the "Member Spotlight" on July 28, 2009; I feel honored. In addition, a big thank you to the readers, and fellow writers, who helped me get there.

Wishing you all peace and love.

dcrelief aka Dixie Copeland

life's high

Some friends that live around me
Are never looking up
They’re staring at the ground
And cursing their bad luck

They like to cry and moan
I hate to think they’re right
When I walk in the door
I kiss myself goodnight

I dream about tomorrow
With wishes that I hold
Close to me without sorrow
Though I might be too damn old

My giggles and my laughter
Still rise into the sky
Might miss the thing I’m after
But I’ll hang onto the high

Life’s high.

(shh, caution) sex

Life is sexually transmitted.

(I think this should be a bumper sticker.)

Oil Rig Escapes Destruction

How often does some objective stand in our way, denying us our wish? Would it utterly destroy us not to get our way? Not to have a say? Or can things change, turning quickly, allowing us more room to play.

A third shift worker at this Texas oil rig wanted a night time photo of it. He figured the lightening would make a great backlight for his shot; look at what he got!

Suddenly the sky was ‘pitch-black’ again; he could no longer tell where the tornado was. Somehow in the darkness the tornado had turned; rig and worker were safe.

Thinking

If each light represents a thought, then yes, I'd say that I'm thinking. Welcome to 'Fibromyalgia Fog'.


(click on photo)

new post, no photo

I'm just going to sit down and write whatever comes into my head. I have been empty and blank this week and it scares me. Fibromyalgia fog is not welcome right now. So many things to do, yet physically I am weakened by the stupid medications. Why don't doctors listen to their patiets? Don't we have first hand knowledge of our minds and bodies? Or at least I do.

A lot of people have given me loads of emotional support and I am grateful. I wouldn't trade their kindnesses for anything in the world. From Blogger, Zimbio, and on Facebook... lots of smiles, coffee, and tender hearts have kept me humming along.

Maybe I'll be able to share my misfortune with you sometime. Right now I'm too busy fighting it; very much in the middle. More will be revealed.

Wait I do have a photo. I send it to all of you, with my thanks, for hanging in there with me.

Smile now... life happens

Today I said goodbye to a dream; let it go the way of dreams that taunt.
I never meant to hurt me. I simply thought that it might really happen.
I simply smile now. Smile at the inner kid who really wished on a star.

Things that taunt, things that go bump in the night, reveal their truth in light of day. How I wanted to go and play and never come back down to earth.
I simply smile now. Reality is lifting a burden from my shoulders.

Breathing is easier. I’m not so worried that I’ll disappoint everyone, not fulfill their fantasies for my life. I need to let others make their way as they want.
I simply smile. I look around me, take a step, and as life happens, I go with it.

Sometimes I have a dream that’s never meant to come true; it is simply there to motivate me or teach me what I need to know. I can make the choice to smile now… as life happens… I’m still in it.

=)

lone space

A small place, a lone space
my prayers do I say.

Then seagulls come and join me
we rush to our play.

The sun comes up glowing
and gentle winds rise.

I stand on my own
yet learn from the wise.

Do not take too much
do not leave here cold.

Embers now glowing
will pepper your soul.

Return every time
your heart becomes wet.

And find all the lone space
that heals your regret.

the quiet type

In the quiet of the night, I can contemplate the most marvelous things or the most pitiful sorrows. I can make them as big or as small as I choose. With only the low hum of my fan, I sit here and type away. Sometimes I wish I could type away the misery of my own and other people's lives; yet I cannot. It is then that I feel so small. And I type and I type.

In the course of my typing along comes a moment of faith and I am renewed. To the cruelest of people I'd like to say, "keep typing, you're not there yet." To the happiest of people I'd like to say, "Keep sending out what you've typed and encourage us to continue in understanding joy and love."

In the quiet of the night I can type chapter after chapter of my life, knowing they may never be read, save by me? There are chapters that I've written that never a tear was shed, until I reread them. It's also possible that not a tear was shed when an actual event occurred. It is only through the growth of my spirit that I am able to look in hindsight and weep in sorrow or in joy. This is good. This means I'm moving along, while at the same time, I can stand still and feel what I didn't or couldn't before. I find it further astounding that I can take those combined experiences and apply them appropriately to whatever is going on today. I can know when I'm sad. I can know when I'm joyful. I can know when someone else feels those same feelings. I can offer a shoulder, a smile, or both. Yet when the pain of too much sorrow or too much joy would overwhelm me, I move to the quiet of the night and I type.

forgiveness

Lewis B. Smedes

“None of us wants to admit that we hate someone... when we deny our hate we detour around the crisis of forgiveness.

We suppress our spite, make adjustments, and make believe we are too good to be hateful.

But the truth is that we do not dare to risk admitting the hate we feel, because we do not dare to risk forgiving the person we hate."


(Illness; dcrelief will return soon. Thank you.)

Friday Funnies

forgiveness

Kauffman:

“The supreme act of courage is that of forgiving ourselves; that which I was not, but could have been; that which I would have done but did not do.


Can I find the fortitude to remember in truth, to understand, to submit, to forgive and to be free to move on in time?"

excerpt: Sarah's Day

There she sat atop his shoulders, applauding, as shooting stars filled the night sky.

“Daddy?” He knew that the tone of that voice, and hoped she wasn’t going to ask a hard question. “Who hung the moon, Daddy?”

“God hung the moon, for you and me.” He wondered if she had questions about God again!

“Hmmm,” she hummed, and he knew something was stirring within his “sweet girl’s mind.” (Wait for it. :])

“Daddy, if you had hung the moon, the face would be looking at our house, right?”

“Of course sweetie,” and though he thought to add more, he stopped. (She’s only four.)

“Daddy, I want to hear ‘Goodnight Moon’; will you read it to me?”

‘Sure.” He got her down from his shoulders and watched her fly into the house. (One last adrenaline splurge!)

He took one last look at the moon and heard her voice in his mind: ‘Daddy…if you had hung the moon, the face would be looking at our house, right?’ Though he laughed a bit, he also choked back a tear. (Yes Sarah, and I would give you the keys to the place!)

Trial by fire

Words that play
Around in my head
They go away
But leave me truth
About how friends
Are doing

Words in my heart
Caress the pain
I am a small part
Of what is needed
Or of what
Seeks to continue

When life is demanding
And I’ve no words
Of understanding
A mix of praise and song
I have no fear of walls
Just lots of questions

Surprise! surprise! for July 5...!

Letting a fifth run the fourth?

Here's my happy blue creature holding two cups of coffee. He knows that some of you will be celebrating the American fourth of July. Some of you will be cracking open a bottle of 'spirits' and having a go at getting 'happy'. Yes, it's all in fun, but please take it easy on yourself.

I don't know about where you live, but my hometown loves to post the number of accidents, and mayhem events, for every holiday that comes along. My news arrives at the dinner hour; gosh, how thoughtful of the media to banish my appetite at just the right moment. Granted, it's not the surprise Christmas snow with the 200 car pile up, on the highway; however it's sorrowing to hear the number of school children that won't be attending in the fall, after all.

Excuse me if sound like I'm complaining, but could you please stay home to crack open the bottles, the cans, your best crystals, and leave the road clear for the sober? Have fun; have a good holiday; designate a driver.

My happy blue creature sends hugs, and mugs of coffee; it's an option he hopes you'll take. Let's stop letting a fifth ruin the fourth.

Far East Meets Far West

Photo 1-2: Sarawak, Malaysia
Photo 3: Charlotte, North Carolina
Oh to be on that river of beauty, instead of the ribbon of concrete!

Somewhere along the beauty of the Sarawak River lives my newest friend. We live twelve hours apart! Life and how we live it for ourselves is the main topic. Isn’t it always? I hope so.

For now, she and I are content to contact each other through ‘Facebook”; a marvelous vehicle for bringing peoples together. Thank you, S.Y., for accepting my hand stretched out in friendship. (hai)

I don't do viruses well

You’re computer has been infected; download this software to eliminate it now!
Counting… 436 infections, 437, 438,….!

It was ghastly! What was I thinking when I clicked the “yes” button? Well, I didn’t think the software WAS the virus!!!

Sure, please protect me! Send messages to all of my online friends, announcing my delay in posting something… for the day.

Be sure and delete recent posts in case I might infect a new friend. Never mind that I didn’t get the virus from my blog… (Only later did it dawn on me where the little critter came from.)

Beware of software that pretends to be a virus. Yes, it pretends to be the very thing it wants to protect you from… and now it’s gone. I killed it before it could kill me; vicious, stubborn critter.

Here I am, after the big bug battle. I always seem to panic; can you tell? I don't do viruses well.

no more virus!

After running and doing the usual virus "chase off" things, one can do...
my computer world is nice again.
Now if only I owned this house by the sea.
It belongs to Tiger Woods, golf pro.
Anway, dcrelief runs again!

who's pulling for you?

I love it when my best friend is pulling for me too.

Life... be in it

Life cries
And we wipe away the tears
Nice try
Still we’re letting go of fears
Time flies
As the day is finally done
No lies
We’ll put problems on the run

One child’s
Smiling face can change our heart
Friends’ trials
We can help them find life’s spark
Long miles
As we look while on our way
Life smiles
We look toward another day!

Wandering around

Often my family insists I forget the past and get on with the future. My closest friends know me differently; they realize I lost a lot of past and explore to it to ‘see’ today. My focus stays on today better, when I’m able to have memories that tell me what to avoid. Or of memories that tell me what was good.

I’m not sure where this post will go. I’m wandering around, remembering good things, and planning the moments I live with trust. Trust in myself or trust in others until I can fully accept that I’m okay to continue in certain areas. Its self-exploration and maybe you’ll get something out of this. It’s not my plan that I write, only about myself, but extend my thoughts to you for a healing of sorts. Only you know what you need; leave the rest.

Most of you know about the physical, mental, and emotional trauma associated with Fibromyalgia; I’ve written about it before. But who was this woman before that long word came into being? Can I set it aside, simply look at me and cheer the moment, as I have my mind currently in tact? I am thinking clearly. So I’m taking advantage and moving a bit closer to goals.

Strangely, this time, something wonderful has happened. While wandering around the past, I remembered that I used to get ‘rescued’ all the time by my Mom. Of course she’s been dead for 12 years… no more rescues forthcoming. Yet, I sat down and thought of every positive word my Mom would have said. Such joy when at least one parent takes an interest in your life. I found myself cheered by her words. She who taught me that being me was the most important issue ever. So it was that an outpouring of self understanding has arrived. I sincerely hope that this will enable me to understand more of you.

What makes us, what breaks us, or what takes us to great heights? Can we share it, will we share it; are we ready to connect in a way that establishes acceptance? As I wander around the blog-sphere and read what each of you is doing, I am most grateful to be a part of life. It is as if my Mom is not gone but speaks through the wisdom, experience and joy that others share. Yes, even your pain speaks to me and I shed a quiet tear for you. It’s just something I’ve always done. How comforting that the part of me I want to keep is coming back.

Is there a part of you that needs remembering and renewing? See the Doctor.

Erika's favorite: Pulaski, New York

I am such a lover of the ocean, never finding a river I could feel the same way about. Erika, one of my many nieces, has challenged that with her request of a painting from her photo. Pulaski, New York, where she travels to in ‘fishing season’, is one of her favorite spots of all time.

“Oh, Aunt Dixie, it is a great relaxing place. I caught the largest fish ever last week. I’m sending a photo; please make me a small painting so I can carry it wherever I go. Love E.”

The 6inch by 8 inch painting is on the way and I hope it captures something of the beauty she loves so!

Okay, I can do this.

"Today, I will appreciate my progress. I will let myself feel good about what has been accomplished." ~Gratitude Cards

Sunday check in 4 p.m.
Wednesday check out 11 a.m.

Yes, I can do this!

On vacation, sort of...

There’s no computer virus
There’s no bee in my bonnet
And there’s no-one that can fire us
But I could write a little sonnet

My mind is on vacation
It left just days ago
While I busy typing
The words came out thus so: sdsndj dkjieo kjes

At first I thought to panic
Instead I laughed and cheered
I’ll save my mind for next week
Faithful it would reappear


Note: actually I'm physically ill, but okay.
Will return soon; not to worry.

Happiness, measured in smiles

“Every sixty seconds you spend angry, upset or mad, is a full minute of
happiness you'll never get back”.

A friend emailed the above quote, and as I read it, I began to add up the days’ minutes I had already lost. Wow; the change needs to continue.

I need to continue reaching inside of myself to bring the happiness that exists to the top. I want to stop counting on others to give me what I truly can give myself. Sure, many have experiences that may have worked for them, and that’s welcomed. This is something I want to do for me. I have lots of things to be happy about. My blog has not always been sad sounding, and just for today, I want to go back to the times that gave me joy; bring them forward in time and prioritize a new existence.

I’d like to try on smiles for miles. That’s ‘the road less-traveled’ that I want.

Your Dreams - the source of infinite power?

If you love what you do, you can never fail! Why? because you will never run out of juice. You will always be motivated. During the inevitable times when you are discouraged, you will find a way to simply acknowledge the state you find yourself in, take a break, and the juice will be back in no time. If you live your talents you will be empowered by the universal source—a source that is beyond your wildest imagination, and it is of infinite supply.

No argument can make you stop doing what you love to do. Many people have wonderful reasons for what they do and for what they want to accomplish. These reasons are as varied and personal as anything in the universe. If you take away these reasons and ideas, people fall into a black hole because there is then no longer any substance behind their reality—their dreams have been cut off at the source.

If there is only one important thing in your life, then surely it must be this: to find and live your dreams. Don't waste any more time doing things you don't like. Yes, you are taking a risk, but you will never want to go back once you have made this choice.

Is this possible? What do you think?

A Letter to "Nowhere"

Prologue:

What do you do when you can't figure out people and their motives? What do you do when their conversations are manipulative, or at best, strange? If you're like me; you write a letter to “Nowhere.”

“Nowhere”: a place where thoughts can go and dissolve into particles of energy that mesh with the rest of the universe... and hopefully will not bounce back and bite me in the saddle.

• I do not look lightly at the self-serving attitude that stands at the door waiting to take me in. Humility bids me to continue my journey without judgment, lest I enter the door and not come out. And sometimes I fail and have to write a second letter to “Nowhere.”


Dear “Nowhere”, and to the person who would rob me of my joy:

I wanted to do a special thing. A special project allowing me pleasure to use my abundance of time that becoming disabled had shared with me.

I would write. I worked hard toward my goal and utilized patience to watch it grow. Feeling an immense joy and a good tiredness, I set about adding other things to keep the project going. Maybe I could photograph some of my paintings and use them to accompany my writings?

• I thought I was impervious to complications, ugly remarks, and judgments from people.

Then I got a phone call from a relative; her advice was sharp. Keep in mind that she “called” me; I did not call her! She concluded that my focus of “having abundant time” was like a person “exhibiting an abundance of self-worth.” She pounded one more nail before I excused myself from the phone: “You and your project are insignificant; time is relevant and you are wasting it on this foolish project.”

Having left a time period where time was dead for me, I could not fathom why the robber defined my project as insignificant and foolish? Maybe she’d never heard of the pair of shoes I was forced to wear? Those shoes were uncomfortable; I made the change to walk barefooted.

• I didn’t need to re-do it all over again; but I wanted to be able to close my eyes and remember it. Remember the passion of sitting down and writing a song, or creating charcoal and black conte sketches on the finest papers I could afford! If no one wanted me to exist on this earth, this beautiful earth, then why put me here?!

My joy came from the fact that I was busy, and having daily goals to meet and people wanted what I was doing; a very big surprise! Living became inventing and the foundation I had as a child was still there, moving to the surface to re-teach me. Get past the heat, get past the desires, get past the enablers, and hold hands with the disabled who will reach out to those who need healing too. Just because we look whole, doesn't mean we are whole.

Epilogue:

There are many projects that we do and never expect anyone else to give them a thought. We do them for the sheer joy of doing and sharing. We exist and hopefully our special activities give lessons to anyone who is ready to hear.

• I do not look lightly at the self-serving attitude that would exclaim: "Look at what I'm doing, but rather: look at the higher power who has given me wings to fly.” Humility bids me continue my journey, without judgment, exclaiming… time is HIS.

Lousy weekend, new day...

I had a lousy weekend, and now it’s not going to do any good to complain about it. It’s the same old stuff… and I’m really, really, tired of feeling the way I feel. So wonder of all wonders… I am going to change my attitude. I mean I am really going to shake a few apples from the tree. Fall where they may, this girl has had enough!

The widget “following” thing is going. I click on it and get every blog in the world, but the one I’d like to read. Besides I like my blog list just fine. I don’t get some 18-22 blogs hanging onto one of my “followers,” such a demeaning name any way. No offense, but I like to be the one picking what I want to read.

My personal life will be changing as well. A certain revelation has finally penetrated my skull and I see light at the end of the tunnel… and it’s not a train light!! There’s nothing like a bit of the surreal to wake up reality. And, damn it. I’m wide awake. Maybe I’ll let you know how it goes or else I’ll hide my embarrassment of being a “fool” and get on to new stuff. More will be revealed.

When its time...

Treat your mind to some peace. Detach. Get calm.
If you’re facing a decision, big or small, get peaceful first, and then decide.
If you absolutely can’t make a decision on a particular day, then it’s obviously not time to make that decision.
When it is time, you’ll be able to do it.
And do it well.

Lessons and Gifts

There is a gift for us in each relationship that comes our way. Sometimes the gift is a behavior we’re learning to acquire: detachment, self-esteem, becoming confident enough to set a boundary, or owning our power in another way.

Some relationships trigger healing in us – healing from issues of our past or an issue we’re facing today.

Sometimes we find ourselves learning the most important lessons from the people we least expect to help us. Relationships may teach us about loving ourselves or someone else. Or maybe we’ll learn to let others love us.

We may not know if we’re in the midst of the process. But we can trust the lesson and gift is there. We don’t have to control the process. We’ll understand when it’s time. We can trust that the gift is precisely what we need.

Today, I’m trying to be grateful for all relationships. I’m trying to open myself to the lesson and gift from each person in my life. I will try to trust that I, too, am a gift in other people’s lives.

The one that got away

Painting by dcrelief


Prologue

Not all trips are pleasant ones. Some merely exist to teach us a lesson. A lesson about ourselves: what we've been, what we are, or what we might become. Let us not look lightly at the negative behavior we're ever exposed to, lest we become the same in thought and deed.

The One That Got Away

I caught a fish, a very large fish, and fought my better judgment to let it go. It was my trophy, I had to display it, and so I photographed it to show all of my friends that I was the “best of the best of fishermen.” My ego blindingly held myself, as well as the fish, captive. My overzealous need for "just one more person" to recognize my superiority caused great delay in the preservation of the fish; alas! It was inedible. The bodily damage was such that it could not even be mounted to be observed for all time. The wall in my living room would remain bare.

What was found was painfully ruined, as I contemplated the one that got away. How was it that the joy of the catch did not stay with me? Within my mind I recalled the moment of bringing that mighty one to the surface and how proud I had been. I was the best and here was my proof. How was it that I did not see, that as the fish began to disintegrate, so had my trip? My joy for that fish caused me to ignore any joy for anything or anyone else. When the one that got away, went away, there was no experience left to fill the void. I had alienated all others, deeming them unworthy of my attention.

I sat alone and pondered what I might have done differently. Better yet, I sought a new direction for the next trip. I would leave behind all cumbersome things and ones that would divide the mighty fisherman's attention. I would have my complete joy in the catch, and a large cooler to preserve my new slave. Nothing and no one would hinder my expectations.

Epilogue

Not all trips are pleasant ones. Out of the darkness a line is dropped into the water of our soul. Some come with hooks that are attached to things we'd be wise to avoid. What we've been, what we are, or what we may become, depends largely on what we yield ourselves to accepting. Let us not think lightly on the times when we're allowed to be the one that got away.

MAD?

The little icon will not get up and shake! I don't know how to fix him! lol.

This is not a Facebook commercial

I'm feeling smart!

I forgot about NASCAR...

I planned a sweet little sabbatical in the middle of race week.
Forgot the noise, the fumes, loud cars
100,000 screaming fans!
Off hours they run time trials, and cutesy little races.
Corvette shows………
Lots of dusty rides
Cleaned up hotrods
Motorcycles in every color
Beer on ice when not flowing
Food, food, food
Camper trailers, RV’s, tents and old camper-top trucks
But most definitely…. Not me!