Thursday, March 12, 2009
My mind “sees” me at the bottom where I stand, always looking to move up into the blue. I’m always waiting my turn on the ladder or “natural order of things.” Still closer and closer I move to the blue.
Lots of people talk about singing the blues, having the blues, feeling blue, and it’s a negative thing to them; this blue.
This blue keeps me inspired to move up each rung. On occasion it is understandable that, during gray skies, I falter on my climb. Sometimes the sunlight is so blinding it hurts, beating me back down a rung. The mental and physical so intertwined for me; do I fear the climb or the outside elements?
My mind “sees” me climb those rungs and calls it growth. I may struggle with a problem or a solution and need a rest. Often I stop and stand on the rungs, holding on with both hands, waiting again. Wait and not go into a negative speculation of how long I must wait. Not fear the wait, but see it as a need.
Lots of people talk about waiting on a sure thing, waiting on goodness, waiting on a helping hand, waiting for the storm to pass; this rung waiting. Surely I can raise the courage to continue standing and waiting. Can I do this alone? Can I reach the blue?
Strangely along come friends and offer to wait with me; they just climb down the ladder into the shadows and wait with me. We wait on my energy to go again.
My mind “sees” that the friends came down and can go back; living, breathing positive affirmations encouraging me to reach up for the blue. Climbing as I climb, together we go wanting the blue; this blue.
Gives new meaning to being in a blue mood.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
My sadness comes in waves today.
I try to let it flow in, then out of my mind.
I won’t take the time to rhyme.
Because today is just s day to use for feeling.
Why throw the day away?
Why not feel all the pain and be done?
I cannot change the way I am; plagued by problems that tear me apart.
There is no one to stop by and sing to my heart.
Most of my friends live in the screen world.
How did that come to be for me?
Sometimes I don’t think I want them to know me at all.
But suddenly I write something so transparent and they help me find a piece of life.
It’s time to go outside to sit in the sun.
Watch the animals play and forget the waves.
Find waves of happiness to flow in, and then out.
Wait for sundown and give the waves of sadness the night off.