Finding focus... reasons to continue... mid-life, but late, crisis?
Meanwhile being outside brings me some sort of fulfillment... a normal spring, again.
But wait! Let me start at the latest beginning, as I enter into:
Rant # 3,648
Wars and rumors of wars... every day. Everybody wants to rule the world. (Wasn't there a song by that title?)
Forget gold and silver... check out the price of a rump roast. A simple everyday cheap cut of beef. So I bought some ground turkey to do a hearty meatloaf. It had absolutely no flavor.
I'm thinking to give up cigarettes, though I really like to smoke. The cost doesn't bother me, but of late with all the people bumming "just one", it's become a nuisance. And heaven hold your breath should I say, "I'll sell you one for 15 cents." You'd think I was charging an arm and a leg! Only those people who know the importance of a budget understand "why" the small price.
On one hand I find myself angry about home issues; then just as quickly I am thankful to have a home at all. I entered my eighth month of an overwhelmed budget. The light is now visible and I am happy to be moving in a right direction. (In previous posts I shared the combination of occurrences that brought this about.)
I often come to my blog thinking I must only post good stuff. Nothing sad, mad, or scared, should ever be committed to the Internet world of "dcrelief". What a bunch of rubbish! If anything I want to convey the fact that I am real. I live. I cry. I laugh. I fall down and get up. What anyone thinks of me is not the issue. If someone reads this blog and determines one sentence gets them through some issue of their own... then that's important. I'd like to know about those things.
God's blessings. There is so much controversy concerning religion. Hah! There's nothing NEW under the sun. (Ecclesiastes). With a few years of peace here and there, but not necessarily everywhere at the same time... there's nothing new. As if all the arguing and debate is the point of religion. Hmm? No, nothing new there either... and ~ it is the point... keep everyone fighting. Then if our house gets hit by the storm, call it God's will. Don't call it HARRP.
The reason I live is because I have faith that the very God people would shun does indeed exist. It's taken me years and some wonderful experiences to shape that belief... and it is belief. Most of those experiences had negative results... for a while. I could no more "see" anything good to come than the next person. And don't think I've got it down pat today either. I'll always be seeking His face. End of topic.
So I am back to the start of my post. I think it must be time for a change though I have no idea what that might be. It just seems to be a waiting time. Maybe my head needs to catch up with my heart. Until then I'll keep doing the short sabbaticals in the sunlight; after all it is spring, still. The post man will be happy to note the removal of the poison ivy from the area of the mailbox! The rubbish collectors will be happy to see the neat little piles of brush by the road; job security? Last of all a Fibromyalgia fog is hopefully lifting soon. I can't wait for the poetry of my heart to return to the blog.
Thanks for visiting!
