Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Often my family insists I forget the past and get on with the future. My closest friends know me differently; they realize I lost a lot of past and explore to it to ‘see’ today. My focus stays on today better, when I’m able to have memories that tell me what to avoid. Or of memories that tell me what was good.
I’m not sure where this post will go. I’m wandering around, remembering good things, and planning the moments I live with trust. Trust in myself or trust in others until I can fully accept that I’m okay to continue in certain areas. Its self-exploration and maybe you’ll get something out of this. It’s not my plan that I write, only about myself, but extend my thoughts to you for a healing of sorts. Only you know what you need; leave the rest.
Most of you know about the physical, mental, and emotional trauma associated with Fibromyalgia; I’ve written about it before. But who was this woman before that long word came into being? Can I set it aside, simply look at me and cheer the moment, as I have my mind currently in tact? I am thinking clearly. So I’m taking advantage and moving a bit closer to goals.
Strangely, this time, something wonderful has happened. While wandering around the past, I remembered that I used to get ‘rescued’ all the time by my Mom. Of course she’s been dead for 12 years… no more rescues forthcoming. Yet, I sat down and thought of every positive word my Mom would have said. Such joy when at least one parent takes an interest in your life. I found myself cheered by her words. She who taught me that being me was the most important issue ever. So it was that an outpouring of self understanding has arrived. I sincerely hope that this will enable me to understand more of you.
What makes us, what breaks us, or what takes us to great heights? Can we share it, will we share it; are we ready to connect in a way that establishes acceptance? As I wander around the blog-sphere and read what each of you is doing, I am most grateful to be a part of life. It is as if my Mom is not gone but speaks through the wisdom, experience and joy that others share. Yes, even your pain speaks to me and I shed a quiet tear for you. It’s just something I’ve always done. How comforting that the part of me I want to keep is coming back.
Is there a part of you that needs remembering and renewing? See the Doctor.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
I am such a lover of the ocean, never finding a river I could feel the same way about. Erika, one of my many nieces, has challenged that with her request of a painting from her photo. Pulaski, New York, where she travels to in ‘fishing season’, is one of her favorite spots of all time.
“Oh, Aunt Dixie, it is a great relaxing place. I caught the largest fish ever last week. I’m sending a photo; please make me a small painting so I can carry it wherever I go. Love E.”
The 6inch by 8 inch painting is on the way and I hope it captures something of the beauty she loves so!