Stripping away the rose colored glasses of denial concerning my reality. Getting in touch with truth. Reaching out to others in empathy concerning their reality and their walk to truth.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Thursday, January 1, 2009


“The idea is to admit and accept that you're experiencing mental distress and that something needs to change. It is better to try and focus on solutions rather than letting the problem(s) overwhelm us.”

The above quote is from the Changes 12 step Program of England. I looked at that quote and realized the hundreds of times I have tripped over the words and actually preformed the action in reverse. Did it work in reverse? No, because I sat in the problem. By not looking for a solution I kept traveling in a circle. What made me stop? I got tired of having some pain one afternoon.

I had no control over my emotional pain. Like the bunny with the batteries, I just kept going, and going, and going. The batteries ran down in an exhaustive heap and I cried the rest of the week. Big sobs, crocodile tears, I was really incredibly sad. Then I remembered that, “there could be a solution.” Imagine that, a whole week went by before I remembered to look for a solution. I knew one thing. I didn’t want to sit in my problem, that long, or ever again.

My life is a bit different today. My gratitude speaks when I share what I’ve learned from others with others. For every problem there’s a solution.


I joined a twelve step program and yet I’m a bit confused. At any given time I can be working on several steps and several problems and suddenly they come together solved.

See the photo? Some days that’s how it feels to be navigating my brain. But that’s progress. Shhh; don’t tell anyone. I think I like this.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Moving the Bugaboos

In my life there have times when despair seemed to be my middle name. Crazy ideas hung out in my left ear, twisted ones lived in my right ear; bugaboos moved in everywhere and I was depressed, down trodden, and feeling yucky.

The stuff had lived for so long in my head; they were now taking over my heart. What could I do to make them stop bothering me? I sat and listened to my personal resources. Those happy things I like to do to keep me from dwelling on sad and ugly stuff. (Like writing, painting, drawing, photographing, and playing on my computer.) I also typed to friends in a certain portal that offers some mental health coping skills.

Then one day I listened as a resource friend talked about her project that keeps happy events at hand. It gives her comfort and helps change her attitude. I could do something like that, I thought. A “happy box” or whatever it was. Only I was going to do a sad and ugly file on my computer. Slowly and carefully I would begin to remove every negative emotion that gave me a problem. I would stay positive by giving all the thoughts a nice-looking home.

So I found this photo that I’d had for a long time. I know it’s the imaginary play land of “Harry Potter”. No problem, this was my choice to send the old bad bugaboos to. So now I have a computer file I call “Hogwarts” and it even has sub-folders inside.
Really bad stuff goes to where the snake lived. Partly scary goes to Prof. Snape. Happy, but obsessive stuff goes to those crazy doors and stairways. That’s it. They all live in there as soon as I find one in my head! Nobody has been banished to the woods but you never know; it could happen. Muhuhahaha.

(dedicated to: d.s.)

Tiny Tyke suffers abuse from Head Penguin

Allo! Alistair Cookie here. Today I bring you a scathing tale of terrors. A narration so horrific, you will not believe… well let’s begin.

As many of you already know there are many holidays celebrated in the last month of every year. (Yes, it is already troubling me that I’ll have decades to experience this!) As per our schedule, Mom and I went to the shopping mall. You remember the big building with all of those stores and the Santa that no one noticed? (Ew) Yes that place, only this time, every shop was decorated. Hmm, they call it decorated. It was a frightening affair with lights of every color, bows, trims, balls, bells, and stuff I won’t know until next year. (Can someone save me from this?)

I call this place “Moms’ Mall” because of the huge amount of Moms that shop there. This time of year there are also Moms’ Moms. Oh it’s a big thing, this holiday super duper gimme time. Little tykes like me can end up sitting for hours on end in our strollers waiting for our Moms to finish grabbing packages! Then the packages end up dumped in my lap. Oh yes, make the tyke responsible for Aunt Martha’s peach cologne; a-a-a-achoo!

Just when I think it’s over where does Mom take me? Oh my yes, it’s the “Penguin Palace” dressed up in blue this year with pastel snowflakes and penguins of all sizes. Well, all of my problems are solved. (What photograph?) A terrible thing has occurred. My Mom wants a photo taken while I sit in a little scooter in front of the Penguin Place. (Didn’t we just go through this a couple of weeks back with the guy in red? Wait, did you say ”scooter”?)

Battery operated, the latest “Hasbro” and suddenly I felt that I could do one of those TV spots. (“Want to have fun; this is the one, drive ‘lil tyke bike.”) The head penguin placed me on the scooter with every intention of guiding my every move, but I carefully maneuvered my foot over his hand and, oops, there I went…………..*

The photo you see is of me, as I passed the backside of the Penguin Place for the second time. Oh joy of joy, I thought. Keep a good charge on your scooter and it shall serve you well. Hold on I’ll be back around and tell you the horrors of today’s narration.

Third pass and they yanked me off of the scooter. It crashed, I cried, and then seven more tykes cried. I could not believe they gave me that scooter and then took it back. What’s wrong with these people?