Smile now... life happens

Today I said goodbye to a dream; let it go the way of dreams that taunt.
I never meant to hurt me. I simply thought that it might really happen.
I simply smile now. Smile at the inner kid who really wished on a star.

Things that taunt, things that go bump in the night, reveal their truth in light of day. How I wanted to go and play and never come back down to earth.
I simply smile now. Reality is lifting a burden from my shoulders.

Breathing is easier. I’m not so worried that I’ll disappoint everyone, not fulfill their fantasies for my life. I need to let others make their way as they want.
I simply smile. I look around me, take a step, and as life happens, I go with it.

Sometimes I have a dream that’s never meant to come true; it is simply there to motivate me or teach me what I need to know. I can make the choice to smile now… as life happens… I’m still in it.

=)

lone space

A small place, a lone space
my prayers do I say.

Then seagulls come and join me
we rush to our play.

The sun comes up glowing
and gentle winds rise.

I stand on my own
yet learn from the wise.

Do not take too much
do not leave here cold.

Embers now glowing
will pepper your soul.

Return every time
your heart becomes wet.

And find all the lone space
that heals your regret.

the quiet type

In the quiet of the night, I can contemplate the most marvelous things or the most pitiful sorrows. I can make them as big or as small as I choose. With only the low hum of my fan, I sit here and type away. Sometimes I wish I could type away the misery of my own and other people's lives; yet I cannot. It is then that I feel so small. And I type and I type.

In the course of my typing along comes a moment of faith and I am renewed. To the cruelest of people I'd like to say, "keep typing, you're not there yet." To the happiest of people I'd like to say, "Keep sending out what you've typed and encourage us to continue in understanding joy and love."

In the quiet of the night I can type chapter after chapter of my life, knowing they may never be read, save by me? There are chapters that I've written that never a tear was shed, until I reread them. It's also possible that not a tear was shed when an actual event occurred. It is only through the growth of my spirit that I am able to look in hindsight and weep in sorrow or in joy. This is good. This means I'm moving along, while at the same time, I can stand still and feel what I didn't or couldn't before. I find it further astounding that I can take those combined experiences and apply them appropriately to whatever is going on today. I can know when I'm sad. I can know when I'm joyful. I can know when someone else feels those same feelings. I can offer a shoulder, a smile, or both. Yet when the pain of too much sorrow or too much joy would overwhelm me, I move to the quiet of the night and I type.

forgiveness

Lewis B. Smedes

“None of us wants to admit that we hate someone... when we deny our hate we detour around the crisis of forgiveness.

We suppress our spite, make adjustments, and make believe we are too good to be hateful.

But the truth is that we do not dare to risk admitting the hate we feel, because we do not dare to risk forgiving the person we hate."


(Illness; dcrelief will return soon. Thank you.)

Friday Funnies

forgiveness

Kauffman:

“The supreme act of courage is that of forgiving ourselves; that which I was not, but could have been; that which I would have done but did not do.


Can I find the fortitude to remember in truth, to understand, to submit, to forgive and to be free to move on in time?"

excerpt: Sarah's Day

There she sat atop his shoulders, applauding, as shooting stars filled the night sky.

“Daddy?” He knew that the tone of that voice, and hoped she wasn’t going to ask a hard question. “Who hung the moon, Daddy?”

“God hung the moon, for you and me.” He wondered if she had questions about God again!

“Hmmm,” she hummed, and he knew something was stirring within his “sweet girl’s mind.” (Wait for it. :])

“Daddy, if you had hung the moon, the face would be looking at our house, right?”

“Of course sweetie,” and though he thought to add more, he stopped. (She’s only four.)

“Daddy, I want to hear ‘Goodnight Moon’; will you read it to me?”

‘Sure.” He got her down from his shoulders and watched her fly into the house. (One last adrenaline splurge!)

He took one last look at the moon and heard her voice in his mind: ‘Daddy…if you had hung the moon, the face would be looking at our house, right?’ Though he laughed a bit, he also choked back a tear. (Yes Sarah, and I would give you the keys to the place!)

Trial by fire

Words that play
Around in my head
They go away
But leave me truth
About how friends
Are doing

Words in my heart
Caress the pain
I am a small part
Of what is needed
Or of what
Seeks to continue

When life is demanding
And I’ve no words
Of understanding
A mix of praise and song
I have no fear of walls
Just lots of questions

Surprise! surprise! for July 5...!

Letting a fifth run the fourth?

Here's my happy blue creature holding two cups of coffee. He knows that some of you will be celebrating the American fourth of July. Some of you will be cracking open a bottle of 'spirits' and having a go at getting 'happy'. Yes, it's all in fun, but please take it easy on yourself.

I don't know about where you live, but my hometown loves to post the number of accidents, and mayhem events, for every holiday that comes along. My news arrives at the dinner hour; gosh, how thoughtful of the media to banish my appetite at just the right moment. Granted, it's not the surprise Christmas snow with the 200 car pile up, on the highway; however it's sorrowing to hear the number of school children that won't be attending in the fall, after all.

Excuse me if sound like I'm complaining, but could you please stay home to crack open the bottles, the cans, your best crystals, and leave the road clear for the sober? Have fun; have a good holiday; designate a driver.

My happy blue creature sends hugs, and mugs of coffee; it's an option he hopes you'll take. Let's stop letting a fifth ruin the fourth.

Far East Meets Far West

Photo 1-2: Sarawak, Malaysia
Photo 3: Charlotte, North Carolina
Oh to be on that river of beauty, instead of the ribbon of concrete!

Somewhere along the beauty of the Sarawak River lives my newest friend. We live twelve hours apart! Life and how we live it for ourselves is the main topic. Isn’t it always? I hope so.

For now, she and I are content to contact each other through ‘Facebook”; a marvelous vehicle for bringing peoples together. Thank you, S.Y., for accepting my hand stretched out in friendship. (hai)

I don't do viruses well

You’re computer has been infected; download this software to eliminate it now!
Counting… 436 infections, 437, 438,….!

It was ghastly! What was I thinking when I clicked the “yes” button? Well, I didn’t think the software WAS the virus!!!

Sure, please protect me! Send messages to all of my online friends, announcing my delay in posting something… for the day.

Be sure and delete recent posts in case I might infect a new friend. Never mind that I didn’t get the virus from my blog… (Only later did it dawn on me where the little critter came from.)

Beware of software that pretends to be a virus. Yes, it pretends to be the very thing it wants to protect you from… and now it’s gone. I killed it before it could kill me; vicious, stubborn critter.

Here I am, after the big bug battle. I always seem to panic; can you tell? I don't do viruses well.

no more virus!

After running and doing the usual virus "chase off" things, one can do...
my computer world is nice again.
Now if only I owned this house by the sea.
It belongs to Tiger Woods, golf pro.
Anway, dcrelief runs again!

who's pulling for you?

I love it when my best friend is pulling for me too.

Life... be in it

Life cries
And we wipe away the tears
Nice try
Still we’re letting go of fears
Time flies
As the day is finally done
No lies
We’ll put problems on the run

One child’s
Smiling face can change our heart
Friends’ trials
We can help them find life’s spark
Long miles
As we look while on our way
Life smiles
We look toward another day!

Wandering around

Often my family insists I forget the past and get on with the future. My closest friends know me differently; they realize I lost a lot of past and explore to it to ‘see’ today. My focus stays on today better, when I’m able to have memories that tell me what to avoid. Or of memories that tell me what was good.

I’m not sure where this post will go. I’m wandering around, remembering good things, and planning the moments I live with trust. Trust in myself or trust in others until I can fully accept that I’m okay to continue in certain areas. Its self-exploration and maybe you’ll get something out of this. It’s not my plan that I write, only about myself, but extend my thoughts to you for a healing of sorts. Only you know what you need; leave the rest.

Most of you know about the physical, mental, and emotional trauma associated with Fibromyalgia; I’ve written about it before. But who was this woman before that long word came into being? Can I set it aside, simply look at me and cheer the moment, as I have my mind currently in tact? I am thinking clearly. So I’m taking advantage and moving a bit closer to goals.

Strangely, this time, something wonderful has happened. While wandering around the past, I remembered that I used to get ‘rescued’ all the time by my Mom. Of course she’s been dead for 12 years… no more rescues forthcoming. Yet, I sat down and thought of every positive word my Mom would have said. Such joy when at least one parent takes an interest in your life. I found myself cheered by her words. She who taught me that being me was the most important issue ever. So it was that an outpouring of self understanding has arrived. I sincerely hope that this will enable me to understand more of you.

What makes us, what breaks us, or what takes us to great heights? Can we share it, will we share it; are we ready to connect in a way that establishes acceptance? As I wander around the blog-sphere and read what each of you is doing, I am most grateful to be a part of life. It is as if my Mom is not gone but speaks through the wisdom, experience and joy that others share. Yes, even your pain speaks to me and I shed a quiet tear for you. It’s just something I’ve always done. How comforting that the part of me I want to keep is coming back.

Is there a part of you that needs remembering and renewing? See the Doctor.

Erika's favorite: Pulaski, New York

I am such a lover of the ocean, never finding a river I could feel the same way about. Erika, one of my many nieces, has challenged that with her request of a painting from her photo. Pulaski, New York, where she travels to in ‘fishing season’, is one of her favorite spots of all time.

“Oh, Aunt Dixie, it is a great relaxing place. I caught the largest fish ever last week. I’m sending a photo; please make me a small painting so I can carry it wherever I go. Love E.”

The 6inch by 8 inch painting is on the way and I hope it captures something of the beauty she loves so!

Okay, I can do this.

"Today, I will appreciate my progress. I will let myself feel good about what has been accomplished." ~Gratitude Cards

Sunday check in 4 p.m.
Wednesday check out 11 a.m.

Yes, I can do this!

On vacation, sort of...

There’s no computer virus
There’s no bee in my bonnet
And there’s no-one that can fire us
But I could write a little sonnet

My mind is on vacation
It left just days ago
While I busy typing
The words came out thus so: sdsndj dkjieo kjes

At first I thought to panic
Instead I laughed and cheered
I’ll save my mind for next week
Faithful it would reappear


Note: actually I'm physically ill, but okay.
Will return soon; not to worry.

Happiness, measured in smiles

“Every sixty seconds you spend angry, upset or mad, is a full minute of
happiness you'll never get back”.

A friend emailed the above quote, and as I read it, I began to add up the days’ minutes I had already lost. Wow; the change needs to continue.

I need to continue reaching inside of myself to bring the happiness that exists to the top. I want to stop counting on others to give me what I truly can give myself. Sure, many have experiences that may have worked for them, and that’s welcomed. This is something I want to do for me. I have lots of things to be happy about. My blog has not always been sad sounding, and just for today, I want to go back to the times that gave me joy; bring them forward in time and prioritize a new existence.

I’d like to try on smiles for miles. That’s ‘the road less-traveled’ that I want.