in the yard

Most of my weekend was spent out in my yard; lots of flower beds to tend. This is a favorite Iris. It's a fast spring this year, as summer plants are already popping up.

~That's all.

living amongst the cheap

I made a reservation with the city-county office to take a special driving course. My own insurance company was allowing a ten percent discount for those who completed it. Oh hey, I can do that. Sure, I was calculating the monies saved and where I would use it; never gave a big thought as to where the course would be located.

The advert said, "Learn to drive on rough, rugged terrain. Wind-swept, breathe-taking dunes await your arrival. Enjoy your extra time at lunch visiting our shops!"

On the morning of the class I arrived at the chartered bus stop; just a one day trip, they said, so I packed light. It was slow going at first, with the driver verifying every one's reservation. Still I was so excited, I almost missed the fact that we only traveled half a mile before we stopped. We stopped?

Oh the visions of grandeur that left my brain in a two second flash. We pulled into this conglomerate of parking lots. We were at a mall that had been closed for quite some time. A gigantic oval of sand circled 'round and 'round, and I thought: "I don't know what to think about this!"

It was rough alright. The sand was anything but still, shifting constantly, with highs and lows that made me nauseous. Cute, little fake palms trees disappeared when Mr. Wilson did his "James Bond" spin. Then Mrs. Spencer ran over them, dropping her transmission and a load of trans liquid into the sand. "Not to worry!" she yelled as she stepped out of the car, "they use sand at the race track, to take up spills, all the time."

Finally my turn arrived, and I stood there looking at the utter destruction of the driving course. "Excuse me," I addressed the instructor, "how can I complete the 'sand dune run' without a sand dune being there?" The sharp shrill of a whistle met our ears, as he called everyone to go.

The bus driver handed out an 'exit surveys' - asking students' opinions of the course. "Oh well," he says, "there's always the great shopping here."

Charity begins at home

Kitty Hawk Beach sunrise - the Outer Banks of North Carolina


It’s an old saying but one that needs to be paid attention to: “charity begins at home.” Knowing what we have, what we need, and what we can give away, is empowering. For me it evokes the ‘fruit of the lips,’ of saying praises and thanks.

Lately I’m reminded of what I have that needs nurturing and care. Within myself there is much to be thankful for. The changes I’ve been able to make that give me strength; better choices envelope health. And when I’m not worried or bothered about my health, I can move on to other areas that need renewed attention.

For the better part of three years I’ve forgotten me. You cannot imagine. It’s like I woke up one morning and said this is now going to stop. Out of the air, something like a scoop of magical dust of maturity, hit me like a brick. I needed to give to myself. I needed to recognize that I was losing me, otherwise.

So if I don’t write very much or very often, it’s due to my new choice. Maybe you know how free and fully I want to live. This blog is simply not big enough for me to live within.

My Mom use to say: “Man cannot live by bread alone, he must have peanut butter.” She also said, “Charity begins at home.”


(A special thank you to Heather P. for her wonderful blog that touched my heart this week.) Blog title: "Soundoff"...see my reading list!

Iceland's volcano: Eyjafjallaokul in our thoughts

mind demon

"A Jewel Shining through," left me this comment and I'd like to respond via this post. She's very much in tune with self-discovery being a form of recovery.

"Dixie, well done on reaching back and drawing yourself back to your true self - you still have that spark within, however dim it might seem to you now, just a breathe will fan the flames again. Wishing you the best, Julie xx"

Thank you Julie. I know you get it; most have no clue. They think I'm living in the past or refusing to let it go. But what if the past suddenly catches up and I have to ask where the events existed to begin with? Does an event have anything to do with my current reality? Then again, most know nothing of 'emotional amnesia'... so the nightmares or the dreams mean nothing to them either. (More of that another time or another blog.) I'm glad you visited. XX

In my estimation there are many years I can't recall due to trauma. That hasn't stopped them from sending me messages! The 'self-help' aisle is lined with greedy people. Looking over the products they present can be frustrating. I tire of being someone's subject; I enjoy being human.

Excuse me, the little demon on my shoulder is trying to tell me that I have no more strength. "Oh! did I knock you off? So sorry!"

;)

the graduate

What seems like a long time ago has returned to teach me. The joyous life of that special girl holds out her hand for me to take. I've decided to respond as best I can; she has dreams I'm slowly remembering. She has spunk and spark, things I need to live boldly... as I "boldly go where no one has gone before."

If I write here it is to clear my head. The book I started is calling me to complete it. So if you get anything out of this, congratulations.

If it's true that "I am my own worst enemy"...then I can also be my own best friend. Just like the graduate I was many years ago...I trusted me first.

~dc

a real snow job

Alice is a friend of mine who lives in North Dakota. She laughs at me whenever I tell her: "It snowed here last night." I go on and on, all excited, thinking a 2 inch snow is something to be excited about... until Alice sent me this photo from her local news. I almost died laughing at myself. I call her "Alice in wonderland' now; I mean how the heck do you get around in that mess? I'm hoping she'll send me the photo of the plow that cleared that.

So if you're not in the Dakotas, you might not get it. Get what? ...get the 22 feet of snow. Now that's a real snow job.

~Thanks Alice. Maybe you'll see the ground by summer.
~dc

the brushes are drying

Water. I need water. I need it to keep my brushes from drying. A very simple need and yet I keep forgetting to retrieve it.

My needs are so simple and yet I deny myself the treasury of life. This stops now! From now on, I live, I move on to a place where I'll be free to use or not use my talent. I will not allow anyone or anything to stand in the way of what I want, or don't want.

I took a trip in a time machine
It was the strangest place I've ever seen
No one there resembled 'green'
So I came home and recharged my batteries.

No one. No one. No one is going to stand in my way!

~dc

going with the flow

There's no quick fix for every thing that comes and goes along my path. I use precious tme to build my mind and my body suffers. There is balance, but I have only had a glimpse of it...as I go from one extreme to another.

In the living room, on my couch, I sat; tears in my eyes, I wanted to begin anew, but how? The phone rang and a friend explained her son was having surgery. Four years younger than me and tomorrow he faced bi-pass surgery on his heart. She called because she wanted me to pray for him.

God,(as I like to call Him) has always answered my prayers. It's not always in the manner or time that I expect, but that's okay, we have an understanding. Strange... I sat there just minutes before wondering what to pray for myself. I'm thinking I needed a different focus; was that fast or what?

If you're reading this and you use prayer: please pray for Robin.

~

Standing still

Late at night when the house is very quiet, I feel as if, time is standing still. There's a silence that beckons me to write but the day has left me exhausted; tonight I'll write anyway. I'll write because if I stop I may never start again.

Experiences of the past three - four months has left me with lots of questions. I've decided it's just one thing at a time... and if time is standing still...my chances of success might be better.

That's really all I have to share.

13 years ... nothing's changed

... except me.

It's Over!

...due to lack of interest!

To my friend: Hazelmarie Elliott (mattie)

Time, space or place will never change the feelings I have~
your thoughts often inspire me to travel on
as I've my own song~
yet once thought to borrow a chorus from you

The wind is strong today~
yes indeed, "farewell for now"
I release your hand at the first steps' landing
but the chorus will forever play in my heart

Tell God and Fate, hello~

Pretty and pretty loud!

Quite a lovely bird! Absolutely and completely colorless...well, almost; yet enough to be called an 'Albino Peacock'. Albino indicates little or no pigmentation or color. The Albino Peacock is quite the rare bird, but just as noisy as their colorful counterparts. Try whistling in the loudest, highest-pitched sound you can possibly make... and they are still louder!



Uh-oh... cover your ears. He's staring at the camera!

When animals ask...

During the first week of March, when the temperature in Southern Australia reached 120 degrees F., the koalas started approaching humans for water. Some went to nearby homes, but this one stopped some bikers.




It behooves us to watch for animal distress, help them when we can, especially when they ask. This had never happened before to the people of Austrailia. They answered the call by placing large containers of water on porches and out in their yards. Or as these bikers did: they stopped and shared their supply!

You are...

Grey clouds slipped under a blue sky.
I turned my face to the wind and felt your presence.
You were there and I could tell.
You are the shadow in my life.

The first time I met you a fear grasped my hand.
Would I touch you in the hour before twilight?
It wasn’t fair that I could not.
You are the shadow of my life.

Snow flakes growing large in the yard I call home.
I held out my tongue to taste their sweetness.
Warmth on my cheek beckoned an embrace.
You are the shadow of my life.

Dawn arose taking the last play of darkness.
I waved goodbye to a shape that quickly faded.
Again, joy is followed by some quiet happy tears.
You are…




The following quote is from ‘Facebook’. No author was credited; I borrowed it:

Human beings are the only species on Earth whose inner lives are so powerful that what we think about a situation, how we describe it to ourselves, what meaning we attribute to it or draw from it, matters more than the event itself. And who is doing the thinking, describing and attributing of meaning? You are.

Carrying the Spirit

Vancouver, can you hear me?
Vancouver, I’m on my way.
Save a place on yonder mountain
I’ll be there by light of day.

~What a great time I had; becoming a 'curling up on my couch' spectator! Some of the most beautiful land in the world holds a variety of people with great spirit. I found it all endearing.


~And that great spirit? I found myself caught up in the moment of each game. It surprised me that I pulled for all teams, all nations. So many young people came, yet 'old-timers' returned, and took their share. I think this (pictured)young Canadian says it all.


During the Olympic Opening, this bear arose from the stadium floor. Our host literaly lifted it with wiring at the top. The circles within the cloth form the bear's shape. Amazing idea!

Now I find it feels symbolic of lifting spirits; readying all to work or play in good manner and communication. It's like a giant hug from Canada to all. It's like a challenge from Vancouver to continue 'carrying the spirit,' they so freely gave. Thank you!

Hello Bob?

For the 2010 Winter Olympics, I was glad to see Bob Costas back; love those late night fire-side chats! Oh yes, I’d love to share the Olympic size flame I’ve been harvesting. Just a few minutes, alone, with those oh-so-pinch-able cheeks of his!! (Quiet on the set, please.)

Speaking of cheeks: how about those Bob Sled dudes? The atmosphere was so electrified for that event. You could feel the tightening of the reins, ha. Some 62 years since the Americans have earned gold in this event. Germany, Canada, Switzerland, and America, were readying for the top three medals. I couldn’t help myself, though I cheered them all on, I wanted my home team to win. Thank you Bob Sled Boys! (Cue/queue Mary.)

Two words: Mary Carillo… the sweetheart of the Olympics special features. She’s a retired tennis pro from the 1980’s. Professionally and cheerfully, she ‘bobbed’ all over British Columbia showcasing the people and their lives. I was glued to my TV set for every feature she profiled. Last nights’ feature was ‘Canadian comedy’…I laughed until I cried. (Mary Carillo said the same thing.)

So now we’re on to the big hockey game! There’s also some ice skating left… stay tuned. You know that Bob, Mary, and I will have something later to say regarding the outcome. It might even be something nice! (Throw on log, dim lights, slice chocolate cake, say ‘bye for now’… fade to black.)

Bye for now :)

Is there more?

Oh, why do we give a puck, a puck;
Oh why do we give a puck?

Across the ice and into net
The puck will make its lucky trek ~

In hopes the goalie has gone cold
So we can make that final goal ~

Oh, why do we give a puck, a puck;
Oh why do we give a puck?

Let’s cheer them on, the teams we meet
With toothless smiles and monster feet ~

Olympic Moms are oh-so-proud
And cheer among the frozen crowd ~

My favorite sport

I’ve never thought to be in the Olympics. There was no sport that captured my focus. I did, however, feel an urge to tell them their uniforms looked awful. Must we really stay with that ‘red, white, and blue’ scheme?(theme)

Such a struggle to find my way through all the sports; was there anything I could do? I heard the announcer say: “Hey, now we’re cooking!” So I got a box of cake mix and knew that was close enough for me; mixed it up, carefully reading the results to look for.

“You will know your cake is ready when it springs back to the touch. To check for doneness, stick a toothpick halfway into the center of each layer. When it comes out clean, your cake layer is done.” So there it was… my challenge and how to obtain the gold. I burnt my hand, accidentally pricked my hand, and gave myself a hand, for the layer not going flat.

Next came the icing. It was great; I simply opened this little can and spread it over each layer. I’m not sure what they meant about ‘tempering’ the chocolate at the top, but my own temper was getting hotter by the minute, so I skipped that step. It tasted good to me. So I moved on to my next event… curling.

I took out a nice clean plate, accompanied it with a lovely fork. Making my way to my family room, I ‘curled’ up onto the sofa to watch the Olympics! Isn’t life grand?