In my yard

Today I sat and watched the leaves. Just like this picture with it's movement.
It was so nice. It was so quiet. I love days like this.

Trick or treat?

Take care what you wish for - it's Halloween

Such an amazing tree house! Three children stood on the ground looking up. Three separate tiers, so maybe  three rounds of candy? Curiosity pulled them in. Climbing only a few steps, one child raised her hand and knocked on the door.

Knock, knock, knock.

A voice from above spoke softly, "I'm up here; climb up here."

So three young children out to seek their weight in candy climbed to the next tier. "Go on," one said, "give her a knock."

Knock, knock, knock.

The same soft voice floated on the air, "I'm up here; climb up here."

The three children, weary from all the steps, hoped they would find the treasure they sought at the last and final tier. The child who hadn't knocked before now raised her hand to do so. "What are you waiting for?" asked the eldest.

Knock, knock, knock.

A face appeared before them. It was as if it were part of the wood, and oh how lovely that face was, or the wood... The soft voice spoke hastily, "My, my, what ever do you wish for; hurry up, I don't have all day."

The three little children found their voice and cries of  "trick or treat," filled the air.

The face in the door looked slowly at each little child and asked, "So which is it, that you wish for... a trick or a treat?"

Answering her question they began to jump, up & down, up & down, up, & down, screaming, "We want candy treats; lots of candy treats; all of the candy treats in the world!"

Suddenly from the sky thousands of candy treats fell, piling up until the top tree house tier collapsed onto the second tier. The quaking continued as more treats fell, collapsing the second tier onto the bottom tier. The children were falling fast now caught in the massive amount of treats, but still screaming for more! A final thud as the bottom tier collapsed, and thousands of chocolate chip cookies covered up their last breath. Bburbburburrrrr.

The lovely face in the door laughed and laughed, while three tiny ghosts flew off into the woods to live forevermore.

The end.

Loki's give away - amazing artistry

This is for my fellow blogger, Andrew. His blog,  "Loki's Great Hall", is having a special give away. He's celebrating his 200th follower. That in itself is an amazing feat! But you must see his artwork, the piece he is giving away!!

Though my own personal choice is acrylic painting on canvas, I can certainly appreciate his wonderful talent. This is a real treasure for gamers who love to battle.

Where I belong

Many times I've walked this site ~
with thoughts of nothing but delight.

Sheer joy with every step I take ~
never hurried, never late.

All round the world seems cold ~
but I come here to cheer my soul.

Loving hands will keep me strong ~
and I will dwell where I belong.

Bourne - again?

First, some music to listen to while you read my smallish post.

Agent "dc" is hot on the trail of a wicked banking industry - one that seeks to destroy her reputation and peaceful home. (No joke - true story.) They seek to possess her heart and soul. But agent "dc" holds all of the documents to dispute the evil, vile bank. Stay tuned for more updates. Agent "dc" has her own "Bourne Identity" and may even decide to take cello lessons.

fencing lessons

Fenced in or flying free ~ sometimes I wonder  ~ which one is me?

Is there an ebb, like the ocean's tide, that carries sorrow and joy throughout our lives? Why is it, that I'll be celebrating a victory of some sort when suddenly, there's a crisis? This has been a repeated 'thing' throughout my life.  I'm come to realize that most everyone else experiences similar flows ~ ~ ~

In with the good, out with the bad... what pray tell was I missing? My turn around time was too short. You know that "moment" you need to feel supported right before the bridge collapses? I'm counting: 1, 2, 3, and really thinking I'll make it to 5... but at 3.2 I'm screwed. (Sorry, but screwed IS the appropriate word.) Oh, "for Pete's sakes, " I'll give you my latest example. (By the way, where did "for Pete's sakes," come from?)

I've been so swept away being the happy homeowner; come this August 8th, it will be two years! Wow! As most of you know I began a mission to build my own block walls to redirect rain water flow and, in general, create some extra beauty. It's also helped me exercise the arm that I broke in May a year ago. My, how time has flown.

It's been great and though some days I cannot get more than seven to ten blocks moved, I'm almost done. I'm on the fourth wall and yet, "I'm off the wall." Yep, one day I stood out in the rain watching the water, and the natural path it chose... winding around and down the hill... my blocks would accommodate the clouds! I felt 'green'. LOL.

Then I noticed that one of the rain downspouts needed help directing water away from the house. You know... those long metal things/pipe-like drains that pull rain water from the roof?! So I took a little trip down to my basement to see if I could 'engineer' something to help temporarily. Gosh, hadn't been down in the basement for over a week; been so busy watching the rain from the outside for the block mission. Egad! Water on the floor! Oh my... water in half of the basement. I knew we had several hard rains over the last week but... this! This was going to take some work. Exactly five days on my own and the basement is now dry.

Here's the good part. The new paths I've made using the blocks are working. If not the entire basement would have been flooded. I did discover that my sump pump has ceased living!(sigh) I've been watching videos to see if I can do a replacement installation. Basically I have to find out what the current model, size, make is. I guess it's like buying a car?? And yep, I already checked the electrical outlets... they're working fine. Anyway I can always call for a consultation with an expert. They don't charge but their help might give me an edge I don't already have. You see, I'm also going to put commercial downspouts on my home; should have been that way from the beginning. It's a big roof!!! Try not to laugh, dcrelief has high hopes.

So... being a homeowner... am I fenced in or flying free? Forget that... just let me know how you're doing. Or maybe you've done some house project that would help. And yes, don't do like my neighbor across the street and say, "You need a man." (As he smiled and batted his eyelids at me.) Personally I think the maintenance on my house would be cheaper!!!

Thanks for reading.

ode to rain

Summer, summer, summer,
and the rain came down.

Trickle, trickle, tickle,
not a dry spot found.

While here I sit in swaddling clothes  ~
the raindrops running down my nose.

Ode, ode, ode  ~
thus my ode to rain.


(Image: "The Graphics Fairy"; Thanks, Fairy!)

a child's summer

Sunlight plays on the garden
where tiny bees gather nectar.
I watch as they sip from all the flowers,
taking hours to get their fill.

It takes me far away
from the things that trouble me.
Life slows down for just a while,
I have to smile and  remember when.

Teddy bear clouds dance on the wind,
float through the air and gone.
That was a summer to never forget,
never regret the growth of my soul.

Even as my Mom called to me
a time for dinner, then to bed.
The day was through,
goodnight to you, you flew on.

making beds to lie in...

Life has a way of circling back memories we'd thought forgotten. So it was with me this past week as I made the bed in the smallest room of my home. It used to be my room. Long since painted a different shade of lavender, it still feels like my space! Perfect for viewing the sunset, I travel there so I can travel elsewhere... in my mind... remembering a certain thirteen year old doing the very same thing.
Of course there's a 'jambox' for listening to music. What sane teenage girl would be without her favorite tunes? Set to radio I flipped the switch and suddenly was transported to 1968. A song from the past filled the air; I had more memories than my heart could contain. The overflow spilled onto my cheeks. Okay now... it's okay now.
June - 1968 - Mom and I are making my bed in the small room. The gentle guitar moves, finger fretting, came over the air and we knew the song. "Ode to Billie Joe" and we knew the words, mostly. Mom got to the verse that says:
"There was a virus going 'round; Papa caught it and he died last spring." But then she made a goof and continued... "and now Papa doesn't seem to wanna do much of anything."
Pure hysterical laughter as we realized her mistake. I guess Papa wouldn't want to do much of anything.(smile)
June- 2013 - So there I was making that bed, thinking about all my troubles of late. Reached over and flipped the switch on that old 'jambox' and yep... got to the part of Mom's goof and hooted and hollered. I laughed until I cried but I was laughing.
Lots of speculation about that song. Bobbie Gentry, author and artist, moved on to study Philosophy in California. She once told the BBC, 1968, the song was a "study in unconscious cruelty," which I didn't understand until I saw the 1976 movie. So finding this video really is eye-opening because you see firsthand the "family table talk" and dancing around the "why".  A young man is dead because the times were as they were... being gay was "unpardonable" by people. Forty-five years have passed... are we there yet?

goofing off

One summer & Paul

I was fourteen, loving life, living as large as an eighth grade student could live. My super high on life was going to last forever. I was sure. Besides it was the summer of 69, who could lose?

My Grandmother's home was just around the curve from the Clinton water tower. You saw the tower, you were practically standing on her old white-washed wooden porch. There was probably a chicken or two in the yard; they'd scatter whenever cars rolled into that big dirt driveway. The neighbor's dog, "Champ" would come off the porch, bark a moment as if to say, "what took you so long?" Then Grandmother herself in the apron of the day would greet us with a loud, "Hello there, I need some hugs!"

A big family gathering this time as cousin Paul was arriving home from Vietnam. Two tours of duty... a proud Marine... but something was so wrong. He wasn't the same. But I was fourteen, going to live forever, and glad to see my favorite cousin. He told me of the time I mailed him Wrigley's chewing gum and he had to do fifty push-ups to keep the gum. Next time I needed to mail it so the mail officer wouldn't know... "Lay all five pieces of gum flat, then tape them to the back of your letter."  It worked!

Grandmother's home looked like one of those old southern, stately homes. (Think, "Gone With the Wind" - the movie.) My Grandfather had died before I was born. He and the Mrs. paid the large sum of $1800 for a two story, 35 acre home; with twelve children it came in handy. My favorite part was the porch that wrapped around three-fourths of the house; particularly the wooden swing on the side where the rose bushes grew. South Carolina sand was a natural for the plants. Aunt Pat would be playing hymns in the parlour, while I would absorb the aroma of the flowers. That piano was possibly a hundred years old, but she kept it tuned for her Mom. Gradually all the brother and sisters would become this all-gospel choir. I preferred rock, but listening while swinging, sure did make a body feel peaceful. Then again, maybe it was just the summer of 69.

Pretty soon "the choir" would stop and a massive movement of rocking chairs would start to fill the very front of the porch. Everyone looking outwards toward the road waving, "howdy" to every passing car. Younger cousins filled the yard chasing chickens or playing dodge ball. They would run until they dropped. Only cousin Paul remained in his room on the second floor.

My own family was there for two days. In that time I rarely saw Paul. He seemed to stay out of sight on purpose. My uncle who was still in the Marines and had been to Vietnam, asked everyone to give Paul time. "You cannot imagine," he said, "leaving the killing fields one day to arrive in perfect safety the next. The shock of death surrounds you and then you're home where people are singing hymns. Makes you wonder if God even knows there's a Vietnam."

Two weeks, maybe three passed. A busy fourteen year old was making beach plans. My parents had rented a tiny cottage for a week and I was so ready for fun and sun. In fact we were loading the car when the mail ran. My Mom called out, "Hey, Dixie, here's a letter from Paul for you." I was excited that he might continue writing me after getting home. But then I saw the return address... one of those long, multi-lined, multi-number addresses of the military. He signed on for a third tour. I read as hot tears welled up and fell on my cheeks. He felt that's where he belonged.

"I cannot relate to anyone. Maybe Uncle Tony because he's been here, but even he seems to be okay. He has Aunt Deb and the kids. At home I'm alone. Here I have my buddies; we are family. I cannot leave them. I cannot stay where there is no sound. For in that silence I hear their cries. I love you. Please write. Love, Paul"

When he requested his fifth tour of duty they refused him. Once home he stayed in a drunken blitz. In and out of trouble with the law, and no relationship ever lasted. He was so alone. I was 28 and we arranged to spend a day hanging out. We had so much fun and he didn't drink the entire time. We drove down all the back roads... making it to Grandmother's house finally. Since her death no one was there to care for it. He had a taken an apartment after his Mom threw him out. But on this day none of that mattered to him. He and an old friend were enjoying life. A year later he was dead... fatal car accident, though some suspect suicide. I don't know but I'm certainly not going to cast a stone. If anyone needed peace he did... and those who serve in the same capacity.

Thank you for reading.

I dedicate this video to Paul.

White sky = emptiness?

Words no words,
and yet I feel the need to type

What goes on
within a mind that's so distracted?

Where did I
lay down my peaceful attitude?

It was here
just days ago and disappeared again.

Chemtrails against the sky
are you the reason I've faltered at living?

Taking no pleasure
in anything outside and yet I go there.

Words just words,
but they're all I have for expression.

White sky emptiness
you will not win; even as I write, I've won.

No blame

Finding focus... reasons to continue... mid-life, but late, crisis?
Meanwhile being outside brings me some sort of fulfillment... a normal spring, again.
But wait! Let me start at the latest beginning, as I enter into:

Rant # 3,648

Wars and rumors of wars... every day. Everybody wants to rule the world. (Wasn't there a song by that title?)

Forget gold and silver... check out the price of a rump roast. A simple everyday cheap cut of beef. So I bought some ground turkey to do a hearty meatloaf. It had absolutely no flavor.

I'm thinking to give up cigarettes, though I really like to smoke. The cost doesn't bother me, but of late with all the people bumming "just one", it's become a nuisance. And heaven hold your breath should I say, "I'll sell you one for 15 cents." You'd think I was charging an arm and a leg! Only those people who know the importance of a budget understand "why" the small price.

On one hand I find myself angry about home issues; then just as quickly I am thankful to have a home at all. I entered my eighth month of an overwhelmed budget. The light is now visible and I am happy to be moving in a right direction. (In previous posts I shared the combination of occurrences that brought this about.)

I often come to my blog thinking I must only post good stuff. Nothing sad, mad, or scared, should ever be committed to the Internet world of "dcrelief". What a bunch of rubbish! If anything I want to convey the fact that I am real. I live. I cry. I laugh. I fall down and get up. What anyone thinks of me is not the issue. If someone reads this blog and determines one sentence gets them through some issue of their own... then that's important. I'd like to know about those things.

God's blessings. There is so much controversy concerning religion. Hah! There's nothing NEW under the sun. (Ecclesiastes). With a few years of peace here and there, but not necessarily everywhere at the same time... there's nothing new. As if all the arguing and debate is the point of religion. Hmm? No, nothing new there either...  and ~ it is the point... keep everyone fighting. Then if our house gets hit by the storm, call it God's will. Don't call it HARRP.

The reason I live is because I have faith that the very God people would shun does indeed exist. It's taken me years and some wonderful experiences to shape that belief... and it is belief. Most of those experiences had negative results... for a while. I could no more "see" anything good to come than the next person. And don't think I've got it down pat today either. I'll always be seeking His face. End of topic.

So I am back to the start of my post. I think it must be time for a change though I have no idea what that might be. It just seems to be a waiting time. Maybe my head needs to catch up with my heart. Until then I'll keep doing the short sabbaticals in the sunlight; after all it is spring, still. The post man will be happy to note the removal of the poison ivy from the area of the mailbox! The rubbish collectors will be happy to see the neat little piles of brush by the road; job security? Last of all a Fibromyalgia fog is hopefully lifting soon. I can't wait for the poetry of my heart to return to the blog.

Thanks for visiting!

"let me out"

It's thrilling to meet an artist who can do this type of work. He simply "sees" the object "inside" of the wood. It beckons him to let it out.(wow)

The tree man will return this week to do more tree removal. Our last episode had him cutting the large, limbless trunk into eight sections. They respectfully measure between 8-12 feet each, with a diameter of 3-4 feet. This is no tiny tree!

Can he make this bench? I'll have to show him this photo and see what he says. Also I can't wait to see photos of things he's been making during the interim. Hints of specially designed pieces were clues from the last episode. I suspect he'll have the Adirondack chair completed??!(smile)

Surreal - Tuesdays

Have you ever had a moment when time appeared to stand still, even though the days are passing quickly? This is what I'm experiencing. I count Tuesdays. It seems to be a anchoring point. Suddenly seven days have passed and it's Tuesday again. Tuesday? Is there any significance in my choice of Tuesday? I have no idea.
Any thoughts from the blog-sphere?

And the photo? It's as if they are standing still... surreal.

Memory rose

Hi Mom~ your rose began to bloom on Thursday.

Strange how nothing came to mind for me to blog about.
Not until I sat down and remembered the rose, did it occur to me.
I must have walked past it a dozen times on Friday.

My god-daughter has a phone camera.
Yes, you'd love her too.
I can't wait for you to meet her! One fine day.

You're the one who said, "Every year when that rose blooms..."
You know I thought it was dead, so we cut it back really hard.
"... you'll know that I'm thinking of you, Dixie.

Thanks for the rose, Mom.

child-like

I would love to return to a place of innocence.
Did I grow out of it, or did older people influence my change?

And why would they rush me to grow up?
What could possibly be greater than beauty and wonder?

Curiosity painted the flowers - each one a carefree color.
Tiny petals tempted the brush: "paint me red, no paint me yellow."

Little eyes gaze upon small bugs wanting to paint them too.
Look at all the feet that could use little shoes.

Adults tell me I cannot go back; are they wrong?
I love a retreat for a heart that loves nature's creatures.

Grab your paintbox and your brushes.
I go to a place of innocence ~ and you?

by the light

By all means, the lights must stay on.

As I child I explored the world of darkness. There were many moments of fervent adventure under my bed covers to places unknown. Yes, there might be the occasional lamp or flashlight to abolish a creepy feeling, but I never thought the light would become a necessity. And who paid for light? Wasn't that a gift from the Creator I so loved? Wasn't night time darkness simply the sun taking a nap? And hey! Why wasn't the moon always around? The biggest night time lamp available that wasn't always shining; what was the deal?

This photo captured the essence of my most recent adventure.  I'm mostly all grown up and yet keeping the light has become more important that playing in the dark. Arrggghhh! One day you realise how much a power system holds you captive. The company that provides it is the big bogeyman monopoly... not unlike the game of the same name... you can purchase stock in it you know?

It's a hard climb but I think I've finally reached a place where I can plug in. I cannot control the price of the therms... just wear more thermals when it's cold. Summertime will soon brings it's own irrational thoughts to be dealt with. Maybe an ice pack in my lap while I'm at the laptop?!! Either way, damn it, by all means... the lights must stay on.

Do you have a choice of energy companies where you live or a monopoly like I live with???

Or what do you think about the photo? I found it while looking for new light fixtures! This could actually work for me.

spring rite - right?

Nothing says Spring like a pot of pigs in chocolate pudding.
Hey nana boo-boo, bring on the pigs.

Nothing says Spring like a barrel of those little wafer bars.
Hey nana boo-boo, bring on the bars.

When I was a child
Chocolate wasn't there
Not like it is today
But only at the fair ~
Hard candy and cotton stuff
May have been nice
But wasn't enough!

Hey nana boo-boo, I'm older.

On a more serious note - it's been raining all day. Ah, what has happened to the sunshine? Now I must trek to the store and find some chocolate morsel to satisfy this crazy craving. Is it the rain that tortures me? Might the torrential downpour prohibit me from my trek? Would I, could I be satisfied with a simple danish(scone like thing)?

Nothing says Spring like: get in the car, find something for real, bring it home in a small poky, sniff for five minutes to whet my appetite... and... and...

Hey nana boo-boo, nothing says Spring like a pot of pigs in chocolate pudding...

the fruit of the tree

Busy time in my yard! The big tree is finally unfolding into such spectacular objects of desire. Who could say "no" to this really smart wooden sofa?

It's been a long time for the tree lying across my front lawn. Lots of people have hauled away load after load of logs for firewood. Many a fireplace burned this past winter with the treasure from my home. Eventually an 80 ft. long trunk was left and ... "what to do, what to do?" Answering my advertisement for "free wood," Peter the tree artist called me up! And look what he does for a living!

It will cost me if I decide to have him carve or build anything for me; such a hard decision, and who knew it would come to this? I figure at the $ rate of the pieces... I can afford a small wooden plate, maybe. Amazing, this fruit of the tree!