Stripping away the rose colored glasses of denial concerning my reality. Getting in touch with truth. Reaching out to others in empathy concerning their reality and their walk to truth.

Monday, March 2, 2015

She likes, but He likes and the rest is kind of sad...













My good friend really likes a man in her neighborhood. She wants more than a friendship, but he doesn't seem to take the hint. (The hint?) So she called me to stop by and meet him. She wanted my impression of him. I didn't want to go. Something in my gut was saying: don't do it. (Really, don't do it.) But she's my friend, and it (was) important to her.

I took leftover chocolate cake. (Remember, I helped another friend dump her New Year's diet resolution?!) Cake and coffee, some good jokes and the hour was going nicely... he was late. (He or I, one should have stayed at home.) Into the next hour he arrived. A pleasant looking man with beautiful eyes... and when he looked at me I got a very strange feeling.

My friend went to a restroom break, leaving the two of us at her kitchen table. That's when he popped the question. (No, not that one, thank goodness.) He asked if I'd like to go out some time?  No. (Hot seat time.) He's a nice looking man, but dating is not in the cards right now. I am all scheduled out. No. I have male friends I hang out with, but I have goals I'm working on. And truthfully, I don't know that I want to "put up" with a male that close in my life. No. I think most people understand that having a partner means making some level of commitment. (And oh-good-grief, what about my friend? She's like a lovesick puppy.) He's not doing well with my 'no'.

My friend returned to the room and I stood up to leave. She knew I had a couple of tasks to complete. Everything was moving along nicely... me towards the door, with the two of them still sitting there. Then he stands up and asked if he can have my phone number? I looked at my friend and she was crushed. I got mad. I had the impression he might have done it on purpose. I'd already said, no, maybe four times. (I needed a moment to think and catch my breath.) I walked to her door, turned slowly, looked at him and spoke: As I told a few minutes ago - no, no thank you.

This has really been some weekend. I've called her, but she's not answering her phone. He sister says she's upset. (Yeah, I understand that.) 

"March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb."  Happy March!

32 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. I'm hoping she'll call, or come by in a day or so. It leaves me a bit sad too, but it's worse for her. It's one of those moments I can't undo.

      Thanks, Jo.

      Delete
  2. You is such a vixen, Dixie, seducing friends' wannabe lovers :PPPP
    Joking aside, I don't understand why is the friend upset? Go over there and talk with her.

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    1. Dezzzzz! Remember she wanted more than a friendship - he wasn't getting the hint. She wanted me to tell her what I thought of him. Then I walk in the door, and he asks ME out? WHY is she upset?

      She has to think... needs time. Our friendship is hopefully strong enough to weather this. I have left three messages. She's back at work, so I'll wait until this evening and try again.

      Vixen? Puh-lease! (smile)

      Delete
  3. Stealing men from friends now, geez how low lol

    Some guys and women just can't take the hint. Even when you are clear as a bell.

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    1. You guys crack me up! (Pat).

      More and more I realize, my life with chipmunks is perfect! I will not complain this year when they dig holes in my front yard. I'll plant flowers.

      Delete
  4. Dixie, you just can't help that animal attraction! What a situation, for sure. Your friend needs to understand that you just managed to expose the creep for what he is and saved her a lot of heartache. And he asked you right there in front of her? What a cad.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. You are so right, Linda Kay. I haven't been in this situation since college - seems like decades, now! I tried so hard to get out the door!!

      I hope she ate that last piece of cake! (smile)

      Delete
  5. The cad. Oh, I see now that Linda Kay already said that. But it bears repeating.

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    1. Cad is a perfect, almost forgotten description, I truly admire! Why?
      Because, Debra - I tire of four letter words! And there were many to be found on the drive home.

      Sorry, forgot about s/o/b. that's three, (smile).

      Delete
  6. If I manage to put together a HERE'S TO YOU post, I might still include this, but my time is so crazy... it isn't likely, so here it is...

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2V3SNrkpp0

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Howard Jones - "No one is to Blame." YES! Robin YES!

      Love that song but haven't hear it in a while. WOO! Yeah, that works.

      Thank you, Robin, (smile).

      Delete
  7. Very sad but excellently written Dixie,

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    1. Oh Yvonne - posting personal stuff is often tough, but I couldn't let it go. Like a bad song circling in your head. it was 6:39 a.m. - I'd had enough.

      Thank you for the compliment!

      Delete
  8. Kind of sad, but these sort of things happen. Because someone likes someone it doesn't mean that the feelings will become mutual. Your friend will surely get over it - otherwise she's not really a true friend. But there again, what the heck do I know!

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    Replies
    1. I know and the irony. I could care less right now... I've set my big goals.
      Mike, I know you've got a good head and heart. That counts!!! Thanks.

      Delete
  9. Hopefully your friend will get the obvious, that this is not a guy she wants to devote time and feelings for. Wow, he was totally insensitive. perhaps she needed to see this to move on though. I hope she renews your friendship, this wasn't your fault.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. So uncomfortable. You know, I almost left when he walked in, but I didn't know how she'd react. I've been rethinking that a thousand times.

      The whole situation gives me the willies.

      Delete
  10. Replies
    1. Oh no... maybe it was the coffee... help!
      Great song!

      Delete
  11. Oh dear...the drama.....you must be some good lookin chick Dixie!
    How about a photo? Hahaha!
    Geesh....no reason for her to be mad at you....silly girl!
    Let us know how it all turns out!
    Cheers!
    Linda :o)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda...drama is right. I run like a chicken away from this sort of stuff.
      [I get strong reaction to my hair. It's shoulder-length, medium brown with natural ash highlights. Guys want to touch it. Drives me crazy. Women want to know if it's "frosted"? And blue eyes, looks Nordic.]

      I spoke to her last night for a few minutes. Her Mom is sick...that's kepr her from calling. We'll talk more. Thanks, Linda.

      Delete
    2. Haha, I used to put up a photo but after being stalked and losing 867 posts, getting a virus in my computer (2006). .. I removed all photos. Same thing on FB...It was just too much. I no longer get all these crazy male friend requests... whew!
      The little cartoon I posted to Dezz FB has a close look.

      Delete
    3. Really Stalking? You must be hot!
      Not even one over here.....gosh....I am old! Hahaha!

      Delete
    4. No! I don't think so. Maybe I'll send you a photo through FB. I'll look to see what's recent... but then I'll have to delete it.

      I look friendly?? I don't know.

      Delete
  12. I understand her being upset and hurt, but you behaved perfectly respectfully. She has no legitimate reason to be upset with you. We're not in high-school anymore. You prioritized the friendship and rejected him clearly, for the umpteenth time, in front of her. What more does she want from you? Chocolate cake? You did that too! Dang, girlfriend, I'd be very grateful for your friendship anytime. If George asked you out, I'd dump him and not you.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Robyn - too kind!!! I know, the chocolate cake was the big winner for me!
      Yes, it felt like high-school, exactly.

      She did call, and says her Mom is sick - she'll catch up later. I hope that''s all and her Mom feels better. Meanwhile, I'm stocking up on Cadbury eggs. Can't keep a good girl down. (smile)

      You're a sweet friend, and not just because you're semi-obsessed with chocolate too. I don't want to meet George!!

      Delete
  13. Yikes. What a predicament. And you went by the book.

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    1. Shadow - I'm still awake, wondering about stuff. In the last four years, I've chosen not to date. If/when I go to dinner, I pay my own way. Movie, whatever... I know she knows this...

      I think back over the things she's said about this guy, and maybe it's possible he's lead her on or she's misinterpreted his actions. I don't know because I usually stay far away from other people's relationship issues. That's one reason why I didn't want "evaluate" him, which is what she was asking me to begin with.

      I do know, next time, I will definitely decline. I will not place myself in a this position, no matter who the friend is. Thanks for visiting me.

      I'm off to write something for fun...

      Delete
  14. Some men (women, too) are SO stupid! But, men are usually more bold or ignorant in their stupidity. I don't know, which applies. It could be a little of both. Oh well...I feel horrible for your friend just as you do. I can imagine that being me...the friend who got crushed because that sounds like my stroke of luck. Thankfully, I don't have to worry about the whole dating scenario. Hopefully, in time your friend's bruised ego will heal and that it was a blessing in disguise to have invited you over to learn this revelation about her crush.

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    1. Thank you, Cathy, I surely agree. (smile)

      Delete

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