Stripping away the rose colored glasses of denial concerning my reality. Getting in touch with truth. Reaching out to others in empathy concerning their reality and their walk to truth.

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Bill - with special dedication *




















It was the fall of the year when you came.
You with the smile and the so simple name.
I was so fond of those cute little eyes.
Love at first sight, we were so mesmerized.

I'd hear you speak and you'd hear me laugh.
Sunshine and joy was the key to our path.

It was the fall of the year when you left.
Life seemed to crawl in my days of bereft.
Days turned to years, yet I still hear you sing.
Fly in the heavens, sweet bird on the wing.

A tiny life:

Bill was a 'rescue bird' I acquired when he was 15 years old. He had always been caged. His wings were fully grown and yet he made no effort to fly, ever. In fact I'm not sure if he ever had flown. I'm not sure if he even knew that he could have flown very far away. He had always been in that cage... in a closet.

When we met we both had yellow hair - his natural - mine dyed. We were drawn to each other like magnets. (It was that way for four beautiful years.) It took three months to get him to come out of that cage. After that he was never caged again. I let him go in and out as he pleased. He would sit on top of his cage and greet me whenever I walked into the bedroom he shared with my two small budgies - Casper and Candy. They were my children. They learned to love Bill and he loved them. They would jump from rooftop to rooftop... each had their own cage of a different color. It looked like Charleston, South Carolina with the area known for its rows of colorful houses.

In time Bill learned to speak complete sentences. It was like talking to a three year old human child. However, the very last word he learned was from my six year old niece. The word was - "sweet." She would say, "sweeeet," and he would answer back, "sweeeet." All of the birds loved "the niece"! So two days later when Bill passed, the hardest thing to do was to tell the niece. She came for the funeral, and then played with Casper and Candy. Ironically I found strength watching her comfort them.

As I travel from blog to blog I am often at a loss of what to say to others who have lost a pet - a family member - a treasure - a tiny life. It takes grieving. It takes time. If that tiny life meant anything - it is worth the grieving to recapture the joy that will return. It will return... because you will realize you were part of something amazing. You were part of their tiny life.

* Special dedication to Janie and Franklin

24 comments:

  1. Bill had a happy life in your home, Dixie, and that should be your comforting thought. So many animals, and people, have it rough.
    We also had a little blue budgerigar, whom we took over when my grandfather died. He was at least ten then, and lived at least 10 more years in our house, so it was an extremely old bird who also never flew since my late father wouldn't let him out of the cage. He liked chirping to the radio, especially to the folk songs :) He, sadly, died from heartattack once when my brother came in late at night without announcing himself.

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    1. Thank you Dezmond - they are so fragile. The part I didn't share was that Casper became so depressed. The vet could no nothing. This little fella was grieving for his buddy, Bill. I sat with him for three days and nights. Tried coaxing him to eat or drink. He would sit in the crook of my neck at the left shoulder. On the morning of the fourth day he passed. I buried him beside his buddy. That left Candy alone but she was always the aloof one and lived another 6 years! That's 14 years for a budgie - the vet was amazed. I just played her lots of Yanni - her favorite music!

      I am indeed sorry to hear about your little bird. It seems when they go without warning it's often worse. You have my sympathy - even today!

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  2. Sounds like Bill's life just blossomed when he came to live with you. Sweeeeet!

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    1. Yes, Debra - and my life blossomed. I couldn't believe I had a bird that knew what I was saying and not just mimicking the words, like Casper. Candy refused to talk. I suspect she was traumatized as a small bird. She was happy but never a big part of the play.
      Thank you for visiting me.

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  3. That took me way back to being a child and the first time death came into my life - my budgerigar died. He was called Rodge, but back then I also called most of my soft toys Rodge (no idea why). We buried him in a small box wrapped up in one of my mum's best handkerchiefs. A moment I'll never forget,

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    1. Hi Mike. Maybe its the deep love that keeps the memory so vivid in our minds. "Mum's best handkerchief," that's so sweet. Thanks for telling me about "Rodge" - great name. I know you have lots of fond memories!
      Thank you for visiting!

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  4. The things that people do to animals astounds me. Why bother getting an animal if you're going to put him in a cage in a closet? Just don't do it. Allow someone who really wants this special bird in their life to have him. It sounds like the last four years of Bill's life, with you, were amazing. I am sure he loved you as much, if not more, than you loved him. And that makes the loss worth it... always. As a dog lover, and owner, I've lost several. All of them worth the love and the loss.

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    1. Robin - I so agree.
      For the longest time I'd go into pet shops looking for another Bill. Of course there wasn't going to be another him. He brought a past laden with boo-boos, and it made him the way he was: sweet, humble, quiet, and oh-so-curious.

      Strangely all I wanted to do was free the pet shop birds. Why cage something that's meant to fly and be free? Unless it's another rescue - no way will bring a bird from its natural habitat. Dogs, I feel are quite different.

      Thank you Robin!

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  5. Sorry you lost him, but you made his final years happy which was very important. It is always hard to lose a pet. After losing our last dog, Matt refused to have another. Just as well as we are now in an apartment and I don't think that's any life for a dog.

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    1. Hi Jo. I certainly understand. I have a large enough back yard to own a dog now, but it's a responsibility I'm not sure I could handle now. I suppose if it were a rescue dog I might.

      I know you had wonderful moments with Matt. Thank you for your kindness.

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  6. yes, i often say that the cruelest thing our universe does to us is to give us perfect pets and companions that have a far shorter lifespan than our own.

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    1. Billy - thanks for that piece of wisdom and truth :)

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  7. Thank you. Bill was beautiful, and I'm glad he spent his last years in your tender loving care.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. You're welcome, Janie. I certainly like to think so too. Hope you and Franklin enjoy the weekend.

      Love,
      Dixie

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  8. Awww what a pretty bird! I never really know what to say to people who have lost a pet either. I can say until I had my first dog, I had no idea how profound the feeling of loss actually is. They do give us so much happiness while they're here, though.

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    1. Hi Stephanie. The little smile and sweet eyes... I couldn't resist keeping him for myself, rather than finding another home. I know you understand and I hope you always find joy.

      Thank you for visiting me.

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  9. Hi Dixie....
    It is never easy to lose a pet....
    Our cat Taffy was 21... Our other cat Kramer was 18....
    Taffy went first, and poor Kramer pined for months, and left us as well...
    My youngest daughter had a Fife Canary....also named Bill....sang his guts out!
    He lived to 10, which was apparently a long life♥️
    Between my 3 kids....there are 7 cats and 2 budgies.....
    A lot of pets!
    No more for me and my boyfriend.....too heartbreaking when they pass.....
    Enjoy your Sunday!
    Cheers!
    Linda :o)

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    1. Oh Linda, sounds like you've had your own share of heartbreak. Bless your heart. I want you to know that I loved your post yesterday - well most every day - but "Red" was so cute. I love the little outside fellas.
      Thank you for visiting and leaving such sweetness.

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  10. So sorry that you lost your feathered friend. Losing pets is always so sad. My mom used to have parakeets and canaries when I was little. I missed their song and chatter when they were gone.

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    1. Hi Lori. I just watched your trailer, "Lady - thy name is trouble." Wow! Lovely work.
      My Mom had canaries and I remember one getting out of the cage and flew outside - we never saw him again - poor Mom was so upset. I was too young to understand - then.
      Thank you!

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  11. Replies
    1. Hi Wendy. Yes it is but without love we have nothing. Thank you.
      Oh by the way - your post got me thinking. I can't imagine what that school board was thinking. Poor parents now days.
      Thank you for visiting me.

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    2. Very true.

      And yes, I have to agree with you. Poor parents now days alright.

      Tis a pleasure visiting you, Dixie. Love your sense of humour :)

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    3. And you - lady - humour becomes you too!!

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