Friday, October 17, 2008
Free this woman
I’m tired of judging the one person I live with. The years have loaned me chains to wrap around me to hold me back from living. Free this woman.
Genetics, predisposition questions, beatings, sexual exploits, and welcome to the world of rope and links. Somehow it all meshed into my being and told me: this is who you are. But I do not have to remain that tangled, distorted self another day. Today, just today, I count. Who shall free this woman?
A stranger asked me, “Which piece of your challenging puzzle is the hardest to accept?”
I could not answer… for the puzzle was not yet fully revealed. So instead I answered, “Today… today is the hardest piece to accept, but it is easier than trying to lump a week or month together into acceptance.”
He said, “Then, just for today… free this woman.”
I took another deep breathe and exhaled. Lying on the ground, hoping the fire ants were not on the move, I paused to see if I felt like crying. No? I stood and shook off the dirt and leaves and pronounced myself “free”.
There’s always a beginning and though I have started over each time with each part that needed help… I still believe the hardest part is acceptance. From there I am often moved by the momentary joy and a glimmer of hope. I hang on to those tiny moments as if they were precious pearls.
Free this woman.