Wednesday, October 8, 2008
For love of self
It is good to take time out to do the things we love. I love the water, so sailing, fishing, swimming and other related activities are fun. Fresh air and sunshine are great for my health, even when I don’t want to go out the door. I take my kitchen clock timer and force myself to sit quietly for 15 minutes and breathe deeply. Invariably I find that once that first fifteen minutes passes, then I’m into another 15 without thinking. But this has taken me some time to do.
I get overwhelmed by a problem and cannot think of how to deal with it; how do I resolve an issue that earlier in my life would have been nothing to be concerned about? When did I trade in my peace of mine for paranoia? Or have I always been this way and only now that I’m sick is it so openly visible? I’m not sure.
My current step is talking with a doctor and people who seem to have experienced things like I experience. I also have friends who are not like me but enjoy similar subjects, such as poetry, economics, and politics, mud wrestling (!). And I have this urge to go horseback riding in the snow. What is that about?
So whatever adventure I’m on, on the day you visit, take time to look at the photo or painting because I’m probably focusing on that. Should you see yourself, feel free to let me know. Comments are welcome.