Thursday, April 9, 2009
Some days I feel no more mature than this photo of a family member. I feel small, unprotected and indecisive. Recent events and helpful friends have helped me see that I need to take action. I need to get things moving in the right direction to have a better life. Yes, and even get down in the dirt when need be. Walk toward the dreams I can create in reality, one at a time.
I’ve written previously, that as a child I was very much alone; maybe too much so, as there was so little or no interaction with possible friends. I still fear having friends. It is a big responsibility to do the right thing for myself and others. It takes me time to realize my mistakes with friends and then I work very hard to correct my previous action or inaction. Such is that case for me lately.
My head is so cluttered that I often misconstrue what’s really being explained. I’ve taken to writing down notes to remind me of what is the best plan for my life. The hard part is: sometimes I have to retreat in order to move ahead. Sometimes I need “me time” to stop and look at where I’m at. The present is where I need to be… not jumping back and forth between past and future.
Then sometimes I have to let go of a friends to make sure I have their best interest at heart. I need to put judgments aside and let people live the way they chose. I need to realize that they are human like me, trying to survive and lead a happy life. That means making a conscious decision, on my part, and taking action; the adult thing to do. ~Dixie