Stripping away the rose colored glasses of denial concerning my reality. Getting in touch with truth. Reaching out to others in empathy concerning their reality and their walk to truth.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Some days I feel no more mature than this photo of a family member. I feel small, unprotected and indecisive. Recent events and helpful friends have helped me see that I need to take action. I need to get things moving in the right direction to have a better life. Yes, and even get down in the dirt when need be. Walk toward the dreams I can create in reality, one at a time.
I’ve written previously, that as a child I was very much alone; maybe too much so, as there was so little or no interaction with possible friends. I still fear having friends. It is a big responsibility to do the right thing for myself and others. It takes me time to realize my mistakes with friends and then I work very hard to correct my previous action or inaction. Such is that case for me lately.
My head is so cluttered that I often misconstrue what’s really being explained. I’ve taken to writing down notes to remind me of what is the best plan for my life. The hard part is: sometimes I have to retreat in order to move ahead. Sometimes I need “me time” to stop and look at where I’m at. The present is where I need to be… not jumping back and forth between past and future.
Then sometimes I have to let go of a friends to make sure I have their best interest at heart. I need to put judgments aside and let people live the way they chose. I need to realize that they are human like me, trying to survive and lead a happy life. That means making a conscious decision, on my part, and taking action; the adult thing to do. ~Dixie