Stripping away the rose colored glasses of denial concerning my reality. Getting in touch with truth. Reaching out to others in empathy concerning their reality and their walk to truth.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Trusting






~Charlotte January 20, 2009~

I’ve had a bad run of trusting for a long time. Some people say it’s all in my head. Some people say, hey, you’re blinded, what could you know for certain? All I know is that I’m getting over the reason I even considered to trusting, ever again.

I had swells of deep contentment, love whispered on my lips, and a hand touching my face; all of that has left. Tears want to fall but I defy their choice that makes me appear weak. I am secure in knowing I will remain alright.

For me there will not be trusting. I’ve always felt the cold stare at the playground. Home life was filled with fear. Don’t make me trust you. Don’t make me trust you. Tell me I don’t have to trust, and then maybe I will. At lease give me a choice.

Weathermen are always wrong: “Well, maybe some snow, maybe a little snow, mostly cold and frost, snow is always possible.
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6 comments:

  1. A jewel shining throughFebruary 6, 2009 at 4:19 AM

    Thank you Dixie. Trust is always difficult when you have been abused (in whatever form), but we still dare to connect, because in some part of us that (the non-trusting) so isn't us. :) xx

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  2. Dixie@dcreliefFebruary 6, 2009 at 11:40 AM

    Thank you "...a jewel shining though.." Dixie x

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  3. klahanieFebruary 6, 2009 at 7:11 PM

    Hey Dixie,
    "I am secure in knowing I will remain alright." Most definitely so. When one has been let down so many times, the element of trust can be almost destroyed.
    Trust comes with significant proof. Trust must be earned. May you find the trust that has mostly eluded you.
    Warm wishes, Gary

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  4. Dixie@dcreliefFebruary 7, 2009 at 10:06 AM

    Hi Gary,
    I know exactly what you are saying. It has eluded me for quite some time. I was going to respond to your comment on Arching. Then realised that trusting came before we worked together on that zine.
    There was a lot of support, empathy, and trust from you to help me work through the burdens life had given. Have I forgotten to be grateful and thankful to you. Please accept my very late regards.
    Yet did I give you the trust and support you deserved? Only you can say. Thank you for this comment Gary.
    warm wishes, Dixie x

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  5. klahanieFebruary 7, 2009 at 12:05 PM

    Hi Dixie,
    Thank you for your comment regarding my comment.
    Empathy is a powerful force and I know that we have both demonstrated this.
    I know that you have been of great support to me. Trusting me, as best you can, will develop through our continued positive interaction.
    Warm wishes, Gary:-)

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  6. Dixie@dcreliefFebruary 8, 2009 at 1:33 PM

    Hi Gary,
    Thank you for this help here.
    Warm wishes, Dixie x

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