Stripping away the rose colored glasses of denial concerning my reality. Getting in touch with truth. Reaching out to others in empathy concerning their reality and their walk to truth.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


Words on a page are the same as a pencil sketch; limited in their scope of being understood, or worse, misinterpreted. One must use adjectives, more words, to view shadows and highlights, just as more pencil or charcoal enhances, or defines the sketch.

In my case I have always used photos to do what I've not had the capability of doing with words. I am not a word-usage descriptive, accomplished writer. I am a wordy artist. And as I sat writing away on a recent children's story I realized how inadequate I truly am at mastering adult composition; mastering the adult mindset. The children's stories always come easy because I still remember what it's like to be a child. My nieces and nephews tell me they enjoy my stories because: "Aunt D, it's like you're a child writing about a child." Yet my child-like ways have hurt me within this internet sphere of "meeting other adults and thinking they want to play."

If I am confused it is only because I live in a world few live in. I have a disability that extends to mental, emotional and physical arenas. I have done nothing to become this way. I took some prescribed medications given for 4 years and those were the disabling bullets that took the life I knew but cannot get back. Things will never be the same... and some days it’s not all bad. During those years of medicated torment I saw things you could not in your wildest imagination see or conceive. I saw, felt, touched, heard, and acknowledged a world of existence you have no idea is even there and eventually I arrived at a place so full of light and peace; I wanted to stay but purpose had me return to this place, where now, only my subconscious remembers what it is I returned to do.


  1. Dear dcrelief,

    Once again a heart-rending post. I know myself what it's like to take medication and have disasterous side effects. I empathise with you on that count. Hopefully, the days are better for you now and you can begin to feel positive again.

    Take Care and With Warmest Wishes,

  2. No more meds David; however the healing begins to take hold little by little. Thank you for your encouragement. In peace, dcrelief

  3. The transparency of your blog which is conveyed with such thought-provoking honesty; Displays that the cleansing journey you seek is well within your grasp.
    Your great courage demonstrated by this blog, inspires me in my own personal journey towards a better life. Thank you for this dcrelief.
    My thoughts are with you.

  4. Klahanie,
    Thought provoking is what I've received from you and many others who continue to support me with empathy and positive interaction. Your own life has inspired me to take steps I would have pushed away still. I am grateful to you and your blog readers' comments.
    My gratitude speaks when I share with others. Thank you.


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