Stripping away the rose colored glasses of denial concerning my reality. Getting in touch with truth. Reaching out to others in empathy concerning their reality and their walk to truth.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

some answers are not answers at all

Some answers are not answers at all...

Pretend you did what I did. First find a roommate to supplement the household income,  thereby, supposedly, enhancing the quality of life. (Yours not theirs, per Se.) About halfway through the first month's experience things get rocky. You then choose a second roommate, hoping the budget would recoup the first roommate's financial shortfall...  and now(!) the budget and I (or you) would be smiling... again. {not}

A friend once told me... "people see my kindness as a weakness, and then take advantage of me." Yes, I do believe I have that self-same stupidity gene. Some might refer to it as being "co-dependent"... in short... if I can take care of you, then I'm a good person. Then I have extra confidence. Then I can slap myself on the back and give me  a few "attaboys". Dixie rules!

It's too long of a story to share, and much too embarrassing to think I have no "street smarts". To become long-winded, telling all, sends me into a state of tears. It's difficult for me to fathom people being so manipulative.  Having no "street smarts," or worldly savvy has become the best joke on me. (Um, people are disrespectful because they have the right to be?) Miss Manners has just killed over from shock.  (No conversation? No debate?)

A changing world... a changing country... a change in attitude that produces animal-like minds...
Can we hate something or someone enough? There plenty of room to bash people around. Plenty of room to hate. Keep going... will they change me?

When I heard myself yelling to no one there: "get out of my house!" I got worried. It takes courage to admit the weakness I feel. It takes confidence to tell another, "in spite of my kindness, which you see as weakness, get out of my house." Just you watch closely as the tears are drying up, and a monster wants to get loose.  I don't do monsters; could be a first. Then again I can retreat to my little blog where polite people visit, and feed me with the best things of life: faith, hope, and love.

"You have not because you ask not...."
Would someone send me a digital attitude reflector suit?
Some answers are not answers at all... they're just thoughts.


  1. Dear Dixie,

    Oh my, what a plight to be in. I'm kind of perceiving and I may well be wrong, but it seems to me you sensed that not all was right with your roommates from the outset. That perhaps you dismissed your concerns and figured that all was going to be okay.

    And then, those who would take advantage of your kind, caring nature, would exploit it. For these of poor moral values, do indeed see you as an easy target. "Dixie, we can get away with everything" may well be going through such a devious mind.

    I have been in a similar experience. I calmly and assertively stated my case. I said that I know full well you are taking advantage of my good nature. I will no longer give you permission to devalue me. Thus, I must kindly ask you to leave. Stunned that good old Gare could be so assertive, they got the heck out.

    Dixie, you have the right to a peaceful, hopeful, happy life. Nobody but nobody has the right to sabotage it. Be strong, hold your head high and give 'em heck!

    I know my comment might not be of much help. However, immerse yourself in the positive and caring vibes I send you.

    In hope and peace, your way,

    Your friend,

    Gary x

  2. Hi Gare.
    Yep that's me... 'dismissing Milly'.
    It all came to a ghastly head today.

    I believe what you've shared. It just didn't seem possible to be MY age and get burnt so badly.

    Wow, Mr. K, do you know me or what? Eek and yikes! But your comment is exactly what I meant at the closing. Knowing there are those who've been hit by the shit fan....

    Oh wow, Gary, too many tears today; silly little old lady... me. I am holding my head up; thanks for reminding me.

    Life has been tough realizing I'm dealing with children in adult bodies, here. Simply little to no understanding of priorities.

    Bless you and thank you very much, my friend. xx

  3. Hi Dixie. You have alluded recently to problems that have been surrounding you but I am sometimes slow on the uptake when things are expressed subtlely (is that how one makes an adverb from 'subtle'?). Thanks to this post and Gary's insightful response things have become clearer so I am very sad to learn these things.
    You don't need 'street smarts' because you are transparently a good person; that makes you a rare being and you want to stay like that. At least now you have some self-awareness. I really hope that you overcome this difficult period and return to the cheerful, funny and clever lady we know.
    Good luck with that!
    Best regards, Bazza.


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